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May Pagan Circle - Page 8

post #141 of 465
Dream journals- anyone here do it?

Obvious signs of paganism - I wear my necklaces but most do not have straightforward symbols. I have a tattoo on my ankle that could easily be construed as something. I typically wear a scarf. I am getting more tattos once my dang tax refunds come in. I have always looked a little freaky anyways

I wrenched my back carrying DD and turning wrong. Nothing that black walnut ice cream and caramel syrup can't mend. Have a fantastic night!!
post #142 of 465
Quote:
Originally Posted by aweynsayl View Post
can i just say that it's 105* out?
What?! And I thought it was hot here (90*)...
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re: paganism and partners: DH is, well, I'm not sure he even know what he is at the moment . But, we were both raised in protestant christian beliefs (me in an uber-fundamentalist way, despite my parents being more moderate) and him as a preacher's kid, so...that's its own challenge. He is cool with my beliefs-even asks me to do tarot readings for him, and occasionally a "good luck" spell or something. And he really got into getting some new jars for my herbs and altar stuff. Our families are a different story...they think I am hell-bound of course.

Professionally-There's another TA in grad school with me who is familiar with paganism-has a best friend who is active in Baton Rouge, so I am "out" to her. And I do have a couple of tattoos, but nothing that screams: WITCH!

Dream journals: I don't have one but I used to. I probably should: I've been having some insane dreams lately.
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I'm excited about summer camp. I'm not teaching this summer, so I'm sure I will want to kill all my time on the internet instead of doing something productive like cleaning.
post #143 of 465
Quote:
Originally Posted by wombatclay View Post
Anyway, in one section she is trying to explain to a non-pagan friend why so many "visible pagans" do seem a bit on the fruitcake end. It boils down to the idea that these people see/hear/feel/know something outside the norm and so they eventually adopt the labels put on this abnormal feeling/sensation ("freak", "crazy", "wacko", "nut job"). And then they discover that there is a good reason for their feelings/sensations and that their experiences are real and there is a community in which these things are normal and accepted. But by then they have spent so many years accepting and internalizing the perjoratives that they can't totally break free, or aren't comfortable breaking free, or don't have the general support to break free.

Sort of like a child who is called all sorts of names in school because they simply can't/don't conform to the normal school culture. And then in high school say they are finally diagnosed with a condition that completely explains the "problems" they've had and even given a way to "fix" those problems within a socially acceptable framework. And yet their confidence and self image is still shot from years of unfair perjorative treatment, and it takes time and effort and support (which may not be available) for them to move past the habits/assumptions/attitudes/behaviors they've adopted as a result of being misunderstood for so long.

sounds like what i felt like when i discovered punk rock in 1977 or so...and then again when i became gothic in 1988 or so...
post #144 of 465
Thread Starter 
Signs of paganism: Not much anymore. I'll occasionally wear a celtic knot pendant which some people may put 2 and 2 together.

I have some sort of tree/nature window sticker on my car (I can't even remember what it is. I also have a bumper sticker that says "I Walk with the Goddess". But, I'm going to be covering it.

I have a pan statue. But it's not in a prominent place.

I think I'm leaning more towards publicly showing my UU side. Although I'm pagan, it doesn't seem to define me as it once used to.
post #145 of 465
Quote:
Originally Posted by aweynsayl View Post
but my mom is so funny. she called me from the store the other day and, not wanting to say "beltaine" over the phone asked me: "what are the colors for this holiday?" so she could get me flowers that would be fitting.
my mom calls my holidays "your thing", as in "when are you doing your thing?"

Quote:
Originally Posted by CariOfOz View Post
LOL ok.. I suppose I should have been more specific.. You know the person with at least 5 pentacles, one dinner plate sized and going WELL out of their way to look dark& mysterious? That's the person I envisioned

Trust me it WOULD be worth it for a guy like DH . He's really not THAT bad... he's very good about NOT doing these things in public so at least there is no embarrassment factor
oh, those kind. they're the ones who are always talking about how they freaked out Christians, right? or how they healed someone from afar, or did such-and-such hugely successful spell, such as invisibility, or levitation

well, then, have your dh send me a brother, or a best friend


Quote:
Originally Posted by gun View Post
Obvious signs of paganism - I wear my necklaces but most do not have straightforward symbols. I have a tattoo on my ankle that could easily be construed as something. I typically wear a scarf. I am getting more tattos once my dang tax refunds come in. I have always looked a little freaky anyways

I wrenched my back carrying DD and turning wrong. Nothing that black walnut ice cream and caramel syrup can't mend. Have a fantastic night!!
about the ice cream! i've never heard of black walnut ice cream. i like mint chip, myself, or chocolate raspberry

i have three necklaces that are in heavy rotation
a willendorf pendant, a tiny silver pentagram on a silver chain, and a silver pent on a beaded thingy that i had made for me ages ago, with a smokey quartz. which needs cleaning, actually. must go lay it out under the full moon
i have a vine tattoo on my ankle with a pentagram.
i have two-three dreads started in my rarely-combed hair.

you had to mention that about tax refunds-- i have that earmarked for credit cards! :
post #146 of 465
Dream journals - I used to keep one...but not so much anymore with the little one. I think I'll pick it back up someday. I was never good at the interpretation part, just the remembering.

Today we met with our officiant for the wedding and I'm supposed to be preping my materials for the prenatal class I am teaching tomorrow.

We are dealing with some money issues when it comes to the wedding. My family is out of the picture, so it is only his family, and his parents are struggling as it is, but they said they would help us out and they haven't been able to. Since I am a stay at home mom who works part-time, the income isn't huge...hopefully everything works out though. Things would have been better, but my fiancee didn't get his military pay from last month yet...we've done the paperwork to get that fixed, but it won't come in until the end of the month and we are supposed to pay 90% of the venue on Monday - and I'm nervous. I keep telling myself to ground and centre and let my body and mind slow down like the Earth below...and it works for a bit...lol.

I guess I better finish off my prep so I can sleep...DD didn't sleep much last night and I'm sore from her "latch on/latch off" nursing. I think her tongue is in a weird place.

Enjoy the Full Moon everyone! "We all come from the Goddess...and to her we shall return, like a drop of rain, flowing to the ocean" (thunder storm here tonight lol)
post #147 of 465
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post
oh, those kind. they're the ones who are always talking about how they freaked out Christians, right? or how they healed someone from afar, or did such-and-such hugely successful spell, such as invisibility, or levitation

well, then, have your dh send me a brother, or a best friend
Yes THOSE ones hehehe. Sorry, dh's younger brother is married (and thoroughly useless ) and his older brother is gay...and married
Quote:
i have a vine tattoo on my ankle with a pentagram.
i have two-three dreads started in my rarely-combed hair.
I want dreads SO badly! and a couple more tatts now that ya mention it

We had a lovely day at the parents house...the guys got a lot of work done on the rat penthouse, and dad will end up finishing it on his own during the week ... because he has no projects of his own going on and has NO idea what to do with himself if he doesn't. So he'll just steal daims
post #148 of 465
Hello mamas.

Dream Journal: Yes. I journal every day, i combine everything in one though, except my garden journal.

I forgot about my tattoo-I have the tree of life on my back, and the roots spell out the name Odin.
post #149 of 465
Quote:
Originally Posted by CariOfOz View Post
I want dreads SO badly! and a couple more tatts now that ya mention it
so grow your hair, mama!

i have two more tats coming to me, at some point. i will tell you guys since you're my buds
one of them, of course, will be a maiasaura and her nest and a baby or two. i just don't know where on my body i want it.
the other will be my son's baby hand, in blue, like they do at the hospitals, on my breast. with his initials, and nursing dates (from-to), when he's finallyfinally done nursing once and for all.
post #150 of 465
Maia- wow, how often does he nurse? That will make a beautiful tatoo.
post #151 of 465
Hi all.

Can we add PMS to the pile? Hopefully this roller coaster slows down soon and he will call when he gets there. I am thinking he will be there sometime between today and Monday night. Its really hard for me to not be obssessive over this, because I have slight OCD.

I think I am gonna pull out another book and read in bed again today.
post #152 of 465
Nursing art! Oh, that would be luverly! Though in my case I don't think I have enough room (pre-nursing had me at a "courtesy" c cup and I don't know where I'll be post nursing). But I've thought about getting some art done along my c/s scar... might as well make use of the nerve damage, right? (no sensation at all along much of the scar)

Today is beautiful... high 60s, low 70s with a few clouds and a nice breeze. We're going to a Beltane/Birthday BBQ later today with 20 or so friends... may pole, bonfire, a band or two, dancing, lots of kids. Should be a blast! But for some reason I'm just exhausted right now. Chin to chest, eye drooping, fall over where I sit tired. Maybe the belly babe is doing some sort of massive growth spurt or something, I dunno. But this is really crazy.

Today was also my first "ack ack my pelvis is splitting" moment. Ugh. With 14 more weeks to go I'm a bit worried. With dd1 I didn't really have "problems" till closer to 38 weeks, with dd2 it was closer to 34. But in both cases I was still walking a few miles a day right up to the babe's arrival. The way I felt this morning was a lot worse... could barely walk to the car let alone a mile or two!
post #153 of 465
Ugh, I have cleaned everything. I am waiting until I can get back in my pjs before I do laundry so I can wash my pants. I guess I could vacuum now.

I was looking at my Treasure Map earlier and I guess the universe is interpreting the whole relationship and the "my marriage grows stronger every single day" differently than I did. Its in the section with a picture of DH and I kissing.

My Mom keeps making comments about him having someone else and is upset with me that I am not angry. Its really not helping, I yelled at her and hung up. She called back thinking she accidentally hung up on me. *sigh* I can't even yell at someone properly right now
post #154 of 465
Quote:
Originally Posted by brendon View Post
Maia- wow, how often does he nurse? That will make a beautiful tatoo.
well....not very often. he's 8yo now

probably once every, oh, two weeks, for like a minute. he nursed on Beltaine. i keep track of the days now, because i know i will want to look back and go that's when he had his last nursing.
i think it's so sad when moms look back and realize they'd already had the last nursing and didn't know when it was
so i want to commemorate it
post #155 of 465
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post
so grow your hair, mama!

i have two more tats coming to me, at some point. i will tell you guys since you're my buds
one of them, of course, will be a maiasaura and her nest and a baby or two. i just don't know where on my body i want it.
the other will be my son's baby hand, in blue, like they do at the hospitals, on my breast. with his initials, and nursing dates (from-to), when he's finallyfinally done nursing once and for all.
Hair is growing! It has longish layers, but at the back it's *almost* to my shoulder blades That sounds like a lovely tatt mama!

Quote:
Originally Posted by wombatclay View Post
Today was also my first "ack ack my pelvis is splitting" moment. Ugh. With 14 more weeks to go I'm a bit worried. With dd1 I didn't really have "problems" till closer to 38 weeks, with dd2 it was closer to 34. But in both cases I was still walking a few miles a day right up to the babe's arrival. The way I felt this morning was a lot worse... could barely walk to the car let alone a mile or two!
Oh no, I hope it doesn't get too bad! I had that problem with one of the boys and omg the PAIN was just unreal. I felt like an invalid

Quote:
Originally Posted by BellaLuna Rayne View Post

My Mom keeps making comments about him having someone else and is upset with me that I am not angry. Its really not helping, I yelled at her and hung up. She called back thinking she accidentally hung up on me. *sigh* I can't even yell at someone properly right now
I rather doubt he has someone else.. but I don't doubt that he's being a selfish UAV and acting like a boy rather than a man!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post
probably once every, oh, two weeks, for like a minute. he nursed on Beltaine. i keep track of the days now, because i know i will want to look back and go that's when he had his last nursing.
i think it's so sad when moms look back and realize they'd already had the last nursing and didn't know when it was
so i want to commemorate it
So true.. I DO remember the last time each of the boys breastfed poignantly. With Lucas he was having his morning 'boobie eateat' as he called it, but was playing around.. so dad asked if he wanted to come have some weetbix and he jumped up and said yeah i wanna bix! and ran He was 21 months old. Oddly enough all three of my nurslings weaned at 21months old (which is when I was about 3months pregnant with the next one lol) ...I guess Quinn just followed tradition

Going back over to the IL's today to finish the rat hotel hehehe... Happy mothers day mamas, as it's today here! I got woken up by hubby and the littlest for a cuddle then pressies and a card from Lucas & connor (they made it this morning ) I got season 5 of west wing! and a black lampwork bead for my pandora bracelet .. it has white dots that I have decreed are moons... to keep with my witchy theme of an owl, witches hat and coffee cup
post #156 of 465
Quote:
Originally Posted by CariOfOz View Post
I rather doubt he has someone else.. but I don't doubt that he's being a selfish UAV and acting like a boy rather than a man!
Yeah, he's not pulling the same stuff he did last deployment when he was having the emotional affair. My Mom doesn't believe me that in a lot of ways this feels different. I just don't know if that's a good or bad thing, yk? I keep telling her I can deal with crazy, the whole family is crazy and has mental issues.

I've been writing out affirmations consistently since this all went down. It makes me feel better. I also called a counselor a few minutes ago. I forgot its Saturday so she's probably not there. Hopefully she calls on Monday.
post #157 of 465
Cari-what a wonderful Mother's Day present! Do you have a picture? It sounds amazing!

I don't have any "outward" signs of being pagan except for the fact that we seem to be the only family in town that isn't in church on Sunday. It's like a ghost town. Other than that people always ask me if I'm pentacostal because I have long hair and wear a lot of skirts. Not to mention my large family...
post #158 of 465
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post
i didn't. now i wish i had. i was the 2nd Mrs. K. and the first Mrs. K. and i didn't get along so well, plus he'd already had a whole first family named K. but my ds's last name is K and now that Mr.K is gone i wish ds and i had the same last name. oh well *sigh*
i changed from my XH last name to DH last name. so i will have the same name as my youngest 2 but not the same as DS. he is not upset though. he is the reason i kept it after the divorce though.

Quote:
Originally Posted by singin_angel View Post
We are dealing with some money issues when it comes to the wedding. My family is out of the picture, so it is only his family, and his parents are struggling as it is, but they said they would help us out and they haven't been able to. Since I am a stay at home mom who works part-time, the income isn't huge...hopefully everything works out though. Things would have been better, but my fiancee didn't get his military pay from last month yet...we've done the paperwork to get that fixed, but it won't come in until the end of the month and we are supposed to pay 90% of the venue on Monday - and I'm nervous. I keep telling myself to ground and centre and let my body and mind slow down like the Earth below...and it works for a bit...lol.
i just got married the 1st of May so i understand the nervousness. the day after the wedding is much better. lol. i had to keep telling myself to breathe!

Quote:
Originally Posted by wombatclay View Post
Today was also my first "ack ack my pelvis is splitting" moment. Ugh. With 14 more weeks to go I'm a bit worried. With dd1 I didn't really have "problems" till closer to 38 weeks, with dd2 it was closer to 34. But in both cases I was still walking a few miles a day right up to the babe's arrival. The way I felt this morning was a lot worse... could barely walk to the car let alone a mile or two!
i hadthat with DD the last 2 months. aparently this one is sitting down further b/c i have felt it already. it feels like someone is grabbing your hips and trying to pull your pelvis apart. i feel like my vagina is broken sometimes. lol. i feel for you. i was so hoping that it would hold off until later.

Happy Mother's Day to everyone!

my BIL bought DH and I a one night stay at a B&B this friday night, for our Honeymoon. I am nervous, DD has never spent the night without me, ever. My BIL is going to babysit but DS will be here too. I am going to have him sleep in my spot next to her crib. that should help. I plan on having fun after i leave! we are going to dinner and everything. we werent planning on having a Honeymoon so it was a cool surprise.
post #159 of 465
Thread Starter 
Going to the dermatologist on Monday. Wondering if he'll do the biopsies there and then.
post #160 of 465
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali View Post
Going to the dermatologist on Monday. Wondering if he'll do the biopsies there and then.
I think when my Aunt went in, they did it right then and there. Probably depends on the doctor though.

I am dubbing myself queen of the bi polar roller coaster. Its seriously how I feel right now. Talked with my SIL A, DH is staying with her because his Mom's new boyfriend doesn't want him around or something. Anyway, she said he is doing a little bit better. This morning, it was not doing good. He read the SUPER calmest email I have ever written and was really quiet while reading it. I have no idea what that means though. She is trying to work on him, as well as trying to get him to call.

I don't know how much longer I can stay on this roller coaster though.

I hope everyone is having a much better time than I am. Enjoy the good weather if you have it and hug your families tight.
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