My kids are eating me out of house and home

[~Megan~]

(what a weird phrase)

anyway, I have an almost 7 year old, a 3.5, dh, me, and a baby that eats a bite here and there.

Our dietary needs are somewhat complicated but I really need some help to get the cost under control.

We do qualify for WIC which helps some (of course like everyone I get way too much milk even for someone who makes kefir) but we don't get as much cereal as my kids would like to eat nor as much cheese as we'd like though I think I can exchange some cheese for milk.

We have the following allergies: gluten and wheat, lactose/whey, citrus, cranberries, peanuts, garlic, goat's milk, and soy.

One of my kids would love to eat rice and beans all the time and the other has a texture aversion to things like rice and beans.

The younger one will eat apples and applesauce, any flavor of real fruit leather but no fruits other than apple, raw carrots, and broccoli and that is his full repertoire of fruit and vegs that he will eat. I know this will change with time and I'm not concerned.

But the problem is how much they are eating of the expensive foods. Each morning they eat a yogurt and some cereal. I can't convince them to eat anything else. And they are sooooo hungry they eat too much cereal. The gluten free cereal is not cheap and this week they ate 1 box in 2 days (they did this before I woke and realized they were awake).

This happens with other foods too. Neither of them will eat a large quantity of cheaper foods like whole grains (gluten free of course) or in season veggies.

I already shop at the cheapest grocery store and am blessed to live in a place in which I can find non organic milk that is at least hormone and antibiotic free and local produce at any grocery store.

I need to save money on what I'm feeding my family though! How do you accommodate allergies and picky eaters? Please don't tell me to just serve what I want and let them choose to eat or not because I've got some very strong willed children who will just scream and starve rather than eat if they don't like what's been offered.

[Rhiannon Feimorgan]

How much home baking do you do? I don't have the dietary restrictions that you do, so I can't recommend specific recipes but could you make gluten free versions of granola, muffins, quick breads and so on. You should be able to find lots of ideas in the Food and Nutrition forum.

Do you make your own yogurt? If not, it's easy and it would use up some of that milk.

You can also sometimes get kids to eat fruits and veggies that they other wise wouldn't if it's in a muffin or quick bread. My kids love "pumpkin muffins". I actually make them with squash. It tastes the same. Normally my kids wouldn't touch squash with a ten foot pole if they were starving but they eat the muffins as quick as I can bake them. Same goes for zucchini bread. The squash and zucchini came from my garden and were frozen last year so they are really cheep but even still, home baking is cheaper than buying snacks from the store.

[lil_earthmomma]

That's gotta be tough mama!


I think I would try to replace the expensive foods with more frugal ones. I wouldn't just make my kiddos starve though! I was a "picky" child and hated some of the things grown ups did to make me eat.

What if you sat your kids down and allowed them to pick a breakfast. Sort of brainstorm together.

Another idea might be to buy bulk g/f cereal and mix it in? I don't know if such a thing exists.

Perhaps you could make muffins and leave those out for when they wake up?

Hopefully other mama's will have more ideas!

[~Megan~]

The last couple of weeks I've not done much baking as we've been moving. Normally I love to make mini muffins and cram them with veggies and fruit (I've had great success replacing all the oil with pureed fruit and cutting the sugar in half and replacing that with local honey and blackstrap molasses).

certain things are not frugal to do gluten free like granola as gluten free oats are about $9/lb

[beansmama]

Originally Posted by ~Megan~

(what a weird phrase)

anyway, I have an almost 7 year old, a 3.5, dh, me, and a baby that eats a bite here and there.

Our dietary needs are somewhat complicated but I really need some help to get the cost under control.

We do qualify for WIC which helps some (of course like everyone I get way too much milk even for someone who makes kefir) but we don't get as much cereal as my kids would like to eat nor as much cheese as we'd like though I think I can exchange some cheese for milk.

We have the following allergies: gluten and wheat, lactose/whey, citrus, cranberries, peanuts, garlic, goat's milk, and soy.

One of my kids would love to eat rice and beans all the time and the other has a texture aversion to things like rice and beans.

The younger one will eat apples and applesauce, any flavor of real fruit leather but no fruits other than apple, raw carrots, and broccoli and that is his full repertoire of fruit and vegs that he will eat. I know this will change with time and I'm not concerned.

But the problem is how much they are eating of the expensive foods. Each morning they eat a yogurt and some cereal. I can't convince them to eat anything else. And they are sooooo hungry they eat too much cereal. The gluten free cereal is not cheap and this week they ate 1 box in 2 days (they did this before I woke and realized they were awake).

This happens with other foods too. Neither of them will eat a large quantity of cheaper foods like whole grains (gluten free of course) or in season veggies.

I already shop at the cheapest grocery store and am blessed to live in a place in which I can find non organic milk that is at least hormone and antibiotic free and local produce at any grocery store.

I need to save money on what I'm feeding my family though! How do you accommodate allergies and picky eaters? Please don't tell me to just serve what I want and let them choose to eat or not because I've got some very strong willed children who will just scream and starve rather than eat if they don't like what's been offered.

I'll go through this better later - but all you have to do is call WIC and request they cut down on your milk and up your cheese.

I'm lactose intolerant and only do soy - but DH and DD eat a ton of cheese, so I had WIC give me an extra 2 pounds/mo of cheese and no milk at all. I did this all over the phone - just had to go pick up new checks from the front desk. No biggie.

That being said - I can't wait til they allow soymilk this august (where i am at, anyway). That'll save us tons!!

...better get back to schoolwork now

[Delicateflower]

You could make your own yoghurt with the WIC milk.

certain things are not frugal to do gluten free like granola as gluten free oats are about $9/lb

have you looked at ordering online in bulk? Bob's red mill has them for $2.87 a pound not including shipping.

These are also good, although not crispy
http://www.amazon.com/Natures-Path-O.../dp/B000E4ALJW

[Smithie]

"Please don't tell me to just serve what I want and let them choose to eat or not because I've got some very strong willed children who will just scream and starve rather than eat if they don't like what's been offered."

Not for long, they won't. I've got some pretty strong-willed kids myself, and they have relatives that will feed them nothing. but. junk. when we are staying with them, so we've had some "reset" periods where nothing much was eaten for a day or two. Everybody lived.

But obviously you want to minimize that! I suggest keeping on keeping on for 2-3 weeks while you compile a list of Cheap Things My Family Enjoys Eating. Then, you start planning menus from the list. A person (adult or child) who refuses to eat a plate of food comprised entirely of dishes that you know for a fact they enjoy is exhibiting a not-trivial eating problem. You owe it to your kids to nip this issue in the bud while they are young.

My kids snack a lot on fresh fruit, because that's what's in the house to snack on! When other stuff is here (usually because the ILs drop it off, they are total Costco junkies), fresh fruit consumption goes down. I try not to freak out about it, but it is definitely a reminder that my choices at the grocery store have huge consequences all week long!

[~Megan~]

Originally Posted by Delicateflower

You could make your own yoghurt with the WIC milk.
have you looked at ordering online in bulk? Bob's red mill has them for $2.87 a pound not including shipping.

Bob's, to my understanding, does not offer certified gluten free oats.

I do plan to make yogurt at some point. My past attempts have not met with success. I want to try the viili culture

Originally Posted by Smithie

Not for long, they won't. I've got some pretty strong-willed kids myself, and they have relatives that will feed them nothing. but. junk. when we are staying with them, so we've had some "reset" periods where nothing much was eaten for a day or two. Everybody lived.

I too have tried this. They just don't eat and they get horribly mean. When my dd is hungry she is over sensitive and dramatic which results in screaming and crying over everything. When my ds is hungry he is violent. How do you put up with that for 3 days? And are you worried about eating disorders?

I make what I make and offer one alternative if I know it's something they hate (ie dd hates rice and beans so I will let her eat just the salad). I'm worried that I might create hostility or power issues with the food.

[p1gg1e]

Bob's has Gluten free oats:
http://www.bobsredmill.com/home.php?cat=123

They are still expensive.

Rice chex and Corn chex ( check the box) are gluten free also..though they have BHT. We buy arrowhead brand puffed rice and its less then $2 a bag...not the tastiest

I feel your pain we are GF/DF so our food costs are high Ive cut them down but that means we eat the same thing every week now no changes and no desserts or fun stuff... Its hard for people who don't have these diets to understand why you have high food costs.

[Smithie]

"When my dd is hungry she is over sensitive and dramatic which results in screaming and crying over everything. When my ds is hungry he is violent. How do you put up with that for 3 days?"

Because the alternative is a lifetime of serious health risks. We're not food Puritans over here, but whole days do go by without any processed food entering our mouths, and I'm hoping that's what will make the difference between the obesity and diabetes I see in dh's family and what my children can expect in their adult lives.


"And are you worried about eating disorders?"

Very much so, which I why it freaks me to hear of a child (or adult!) who will refuse an entire plate of foods they like when they are hungry, just because what's in front of them was not the exact item they hankered for at that exact moment.

"I make what I make and offer one alternative if I know it's something they hate (ie dd hates rice and beans so I will let her eat just the salad). I'm worried that I might create hostility or power issues with the food."

That's exactly what I do! I have never forced anyone to eat anything in my life - but the natural consequence of not eating is hunger, and I have learned not to fall apart if the kids sometimes make choices that result in this consequence. If you are already doing this (and keeping expensive and junky snacks out of your home), then maybe you need to take the additional step of limiting snacks between meals, or not giving dessert to anybody who doesn't eat at least something off their plate?

I dunno, it seems like we are doing the same basic thing but experiencing it totally differently. I feel in control of what I spend and what my kids eat overall. You do not feel in control. There is some additional strategy you can employ to get to a place you are happy with - I'm sure of it! Hopefully another mama will be able to suggest something beyond what you and I are already doing...

[Porcelain Interior]

I pull foods when the kids seem addicted or fixated on those items and can't handle the limits I set.

Packaged yogurt (we're going to be making it soon instead) is something that is rationed. You get 1 per day. You may have it at breakfast, or you may have it as snack, but you get 1 per day.

Cereal is pretty expensive especially gluten free. We rarely do cereal and when we do it's 1 bowl per person per day, you may have it as breakfast, or you may have it as a snack, but only 1 time per day.

Sounds like you can only afford x amount of yogurt and cereal in that case I'd decide how much you can buy each pay period and just say upfront "This box of cereal is it for the week, if you eat it all now there won't be anymore." And let it go.

Most mornings I get up and cook things they like. I never say what we're having, they wake up and get what they get.

In our kitchen with a limited budget children aren't allowed to graze and take at will. The fruit and veggie bin is a free for all, and the kids are free to make toast, popcorn whenever.

Things like cheese, nuts, packaged items are 1 per day things.

Some things are off limits totally because they are for lunches.

I think it's about respect more than anything. If my kids ate whatever they wanted I'd only have to buy apple juice, pizza rolls (ew!), string cheese, yogurt and applesauce. That is why they aren't allowed to eat whatever they want.

We also do family meals 5 out of 7 days of the week, and kids MUST help with meal prep cleanup at least 3 days a week. They love it though and when they help me cook something they clean their plate. (Though we don't make them do that.)

[karne]

At your kids' young ages it seems that you have the opportunity to take a little more control of the food situation than if you were dealing with older kids. Your kids won't starve if you decide to start serving something else. Cranky, maybe, but you could presumably put up with cranky if you truly need to cut back on your food budget. Short term discomfort for the longer term gain of a better financial picture. I wouldn't personally worry about eating disorders at 7 and 3 1/2. You didn't mention whether your children have severe sensory issues, or other disabilities that impact their food choices or ability to eat, so I was assuming not.

Also, can I gently point out that there are areas of the world where kids don't have the luxury of screaming if they aren't fed their particular favorite foods? I mean, this really is a first world luxury to be so consumed with our kids food preferences. Sorry-that sounds like a lecture my mom would have given me as a child! But you get the idea.

In our house boxed cereal is a luxury because it is so darn expensive, and doesn't offer much in terms of solid nutrition. I agree w/ the pp who suggested compiling a list of inexpensive nutritious meals and meal ideas, and trying some out. You've got a challenge, for sure, with the various allergies. Have you posted this in the TF section of nutrition? I'll bet you could get some good tips there.

[Delicateflower]

Originally Posted by karne

Also, can I gently point out that there are areas of the world where kids don't have the luxury of screaming if they aren't fed their particular favorite foods? I mean, this really is a first world luxury to be so consumed with our kids food preferences. Sorry-that sounds like a lecture my mom would have given me as a child! But you get the idea.

In our house boxed cereal is a luxury because it is so darn expensive, and doesn't offer much in terms of solid nutrition.

IMO it doesn't (and shouldn't) have to be so black and white as that, but what our ped advised us was to offer a range of foods at each meal including at least one thing they really like. And then back off totally about it. You don't get up an make a seperate thing, you don't make them eat just one bite or anything like that. They won't starve, and you're not depriving them, because there would always be one of their easy to like foods on their plate. There's a really convincing book called "Child of Mine, feeding with love and good sense" by Ellyn Satter, that describes this approach. I really want to stress that you don't starve them, and you don't make them eat anything you don't want to, you put them in a situation where they will want to try other things.

In your situation I would cook up a couple of batches of rice and bean based meals and applesauce and other surefire hits and freeze them in single serve portions. Then at each meal I'd make up a plate. Say the real meal is roast chicken and potatoes with peas, corn and carrots. Make 50% of the carrots raw, and thaw a serve of the rice/beans. Give everyone a small amount of every food, and put the rest in the middle of the table. Anyone who finishes one of the items can have more of that item until they are full. No one has to put anything in their mouth that they don't want to, but they can't be rude about foods they don't want, they just put them to one side. And yes, you can serve foods alongside each other that would make Julia Childs faint.

"I make what I make and offer one alternative if I know it's something they hate (ie dd hates rice and beans so I will let her eat just the salad). I'm worried that I might create hostility or power issues with the food."

IMO giving them that option, to turn their nose up and you'll jump up and make something else really does create a power struggle/tension around the food. It's far better to anticipate it and have the backup food on the table as part of the meal without stress, pressure or comment. And yes, in some families, this means they serve a PB&J alongside a steak.

IMO the problem with breakfast is you have two expensive foods paired together, so you are hesitant to allow them to gorge on one and replace the other with something they most likely won't eat. How about replacing the yoghurt with applesauce or the cereal with pancakes or waffles or oatmeal or eggs (whatever's gluten free and easy and can be eaten by you if they turn it down) and allowing as much of the remaining food as they want to fill up on. Personally I think I'd start making my own yoghurt, or replace it with applesauce and cut out the cereal.

HTH

PS: I forgot to mention before that you can easily make your own cheese from the WIC milk, too.

[Delicateflower]

Originally Posted by ~Megan~

Bob's, to my understanding, does not offer certified gluten free oats.

That is very strange, they have GLUTEN FREE emblazoned across the top. Is that legal?
http://www.bobsredmill.com/product.p...cat=123&page=1

[~Megan~]

Originally Posted by Smithie

Because the alternative is a lifetime of serious health risks. We're not food Puritans over here, but whole days do go by without any processed food entering our mouths, and I'm hoping that's what will make the difference between the obesity and diabetes I see in dh's family and what my children can expect in their adult lives.

It's not so much that I have a problem with them eating processed foods but the foods that they like best are expensive. I try to buy the best with the choices I have available. The yogurt, for example, is local and hormone and antibiotic free but it's also the most expensive yogurt next to organic. The kids don't like the taste of other yogurts and they won't eat the kefir.

dd does have oral texture sensitivities which she has been slowly growing out of with time and experiences. She can't seem to tolerate many of the cheaper foods. Most mornings I have coffee and hot cereal (oats, millet, rice) and an egg with a sauteed veggie on top but she can't stand to eat hot cereal. She gags and throws up.

I want to go vegetarian but dh feels positively weak on vegetarian food so we still eat it but I have cut down my portion and the kids to give dh the same portion as before so it's overall less.

Feeding people who's food needs are complicated is expensive!

I know some of it is my fault for letting the kids become used to cold cereal and other things that they enjoy. I'm just not sure how to change it all.

Originally Posted by Delicateflower

That is very strange, they have GLUTEN FREE emblazoned across the top. Is that legal?
http://www.bobsredmill.com/product.p...cat=123&page=1

I don't know that there are labeling laws for gluten. The oats themselves may be gluten free which means that they are grown in fields that do not rotate with gluten containing crops but my understanding is that they are processed on the same equipment that process glutenous products. dd is pretty sensitive to gluten so we can't have that kind of cross contamination.

[amyamanda]

Okay, I just have to say that some kids really and truly will not eat just anything if they are starving hungry. I know because I have one of those kids. I think if you don't recognize this, it's likely because you don't have a kid like this, and it's not part of most people's experience.

In our house we have mostly whole foods and very limited packaged foods (basically only corn thins, rice cakes, and occasionally organic chips - we are gluten-free). We have virtually no processed foods in our normal rotation, we limit "premium" foods because of cost, etc. We have fresh veggies and fruits as seasonally appropriate (and dried/frozen/stored when fresh isn't seasonal).

I have one kid who will. not. eat. except for a handful of things. It's not a power struggle, he's just very sensitive in some way to many foods (maybe he is a supertaster, maybe he has sensory issues, either way the result is the same). I trust him to trust his body's signals that something isn't right for him. I've tried over the years, and he's tried, and when I've pushed him to try something he doesn't want, he gags. He wishes he could eat more of a variety, too, but it is what it is and we work together to make sure he's eating enough healthy foods.

When he doesn't eat, like if there isn't an alternative that is acceptable to him, his blood sugar drops, and his body's response to low blood sugar is to lash out angrily. It's awful. I am not willing to subject my kid to that kind of preventable situation just in the name of getting him to eat what I want him to. He won't, I've tested those waters before, and I can't go there without harming him, certainly emotionally and possibly physically as well.

We don't keep sweet things in the house, or junk foods, at all, and we don't eat gluten, or dairy, or soy, or cane sugar, or artificial colors/flavors, or refined grains. I know my picky eater would eat gluten if given the opportunity, or anything sweet, or as much meat as his belly could hold, but those are not options here. It would seem like he was eating a larger variety if I allowed packaged food, etc, but there is nothing wrong with a simple diet.

For the record, here is what he will eat, in case the OP is curious: scrambled eggs, plain beef or chicken, canned salmon, pepperoni, hot dogs (limited because of price), peanut butter, corn thins, rice cakes, corn chips, brown rice tortillas (limited because of cost), popcorn, brown rice with tamari. Veggies: raw carrots, raw cabbage, chives, dried nori. Fruits: orange juice, apple juice (both limited for price and sugar), dried cranberries, lemonade. Baked goods: GF muffins, pancakes, waffles, cookies (limited because of sugar). Meat is limited because of price. It is a challenge, but in this list we have protein, carbohydrates, veggies, and fruits. I encourage rotation for variety.

Anyway, I am sorry, I know it was meant as a kind suggestion, but I bristle when people suggest what amounts to withholding food until your child will eat what you want them to eat. It simply does not work for some kids, and if it works for your kids, I think that's great and consider you fortunate. I need to make sure my kid actually eats, and accomplishing that with both of our dignities intact is a higher priority for me than bending him to my will and making him sick in the process. No, he doesn't walk all over me, or manipulate me, or coerce me into buying things I wouldn't otherwise buy. *I* make the decisions about what comes into the house, and I work with him to make sure there is a sufficient selection that works for him and my budget and our restrictions/priorities.

Sorry to go on and on, I just needed to vent a bit and also make it known that some kids are like this. Thanks.

[~Megan~]

Thanks Amanda. My oldest, the one with the allergies, is also very strong willed when it comes to food. When she was 16 months we started taking her to an oral therapist for oral aversion. He suggested that I go away for an entire day and that dh offer her food while I was gone because if I was gone then she would get hungry enough to eat. She didn't. dh still counts it as the worst day of his life. Our child screaming and heartbroken crying out for food but unable to eat what he could offer.

I don't think my kids refuse foods to make it a power struggle. Some people just don't like the way some things taste. It's a self preservation thing to not eat foods that you think taste bad which is why most poisonous plants taste terrible.

I'm not sure what the solution is to the food budget but I guess I'll just be happy that they will eat something from each food group and that both of them have at least a couple fruits and a couple veggies that they enjoy.

[bobandjess99]

Megan - do you know the WIC packages are changing? This poage has details,including what is going to be in the new pachages. http://www.fns.usda.gov/WIC/benefits...es/foodpkg.HTM
, they have added frsh fruits and veggies, and bread, so you will get that....states have until a deadline of October 1st to instate the new packages (some already have) so you might want to check it out if you rely on WIC for part of your food budget, so you know what is changing!

[Delicateflower]

Originally Posted by ~Megan~

I don't know that there are labeling laws for gluten. The oats themselves may be gluten free which means that they are grown in fields that do not rotate with gluten containing crops but my understanding is that they are processed on the same equipment that process glutenous products. dd is pretty sensitive to gluten so we can't have that kind of cross contamination.

It would have to be illegal under the FDA. They say on the label that it's grown in gluten free fields and processed in a gluten free plant, and that they ELISA test it multiple times. If that's untrue, they are putting people's health at risk by lying.

[~Megan~]

Originally Posted by bobandjess99

Megan - do you know the WIC packages are changing? This poage has details,including what is going to be in the new pachages. http://www.fns.usda.gov/WIC/benefits...es/foodpkg.HTM
, they have added frsh fruits and veggies, and bread, so you will get that....states have until a deadline of October 1st to instate the new packages (some already have) so you might want to check it out if you rely on WIC for part of your food budget, so you know what is changing!

Our change starts in August. My youngest turns 1 in August.

I did see the changes and was happy about them.