Thank you so much for all your answers...It is a good feeling knowing they are mothers there that understand you, support you, and help you. And it is great a lot of you are from around here. I'm actually not from Batesville, but from an other country. My husband is from here, but I have lived here for almost 3 years.
My first pregnancy was perfect. I did not know much about labor, but my husband and I attended Lamaze classes. And there were really good. It is where I learned about all the interventions that can lead to C-section. But it neve crossed my mind that I have to have one, because everything was great, and I did not have any complication. I think I was pretty good informed about the labor process, just that I kindly underestimated the doctor's power. I thought the doctor and nurses will do whatever we want.The will let us have the birth we dreamed of. Well he actually scheduled an appoitment to see me 2 days before my due date, and only after it occur to me that he scheduled to induced me. My labor started the night before, and by morning when doctor came in I did not progressed much. But I felt great and I thought we have plenty of time. Well the doctor wanted to induce me, and I refused it. That made the doctor really mad, and he went then and broked my water. I was so hurt and cried, at what he did to me. After few hours he came back, and insisted I needed to be induced. I refused again, but family insisted ,and doctor and nurses, so I gave in. I did not wanted to be induced, and I did not thought was necessary, but noone was listen to me. By afternoon, the pain was really strongs, and I was not dilating much. The doctor was keep saying that tonight we gone have the baby. It felt that he was planning before he goes home, he will get the baby out with all means, even it means c-section. So later I accepted the epidural, with the hope I will relax and dilate, and I will not need c-section. I could not believe he actually was thinking at that. The baby and myself were fine. I actually requested to stop the induction at one point, but they didn't. It was like i was not there. It was not about me at all...afterall all you want its your baby, it doesn;t matter how you feel or how you get her.
Well by 10 o'clock at night, the doctor came in and said he will do a c-section. I told him I did not want one, and started crying, but he got mad and frustrated, and insisted and it have been so many hours since the water was broken. But if he knew that he has to take the baby out on a certain time after the water brokes, why he broked it? I was really upset, and hurt, and mad. And i said I still wanted to wait...at list 2 more hours by midnight. But he insisted, that I will not dilate enough by that time. It really felt that he did not want to spend the night at the hospital, and all he cared was about himself. The family insisted I have to listen to the doctor, he knows the best. My husband understood what was going on with me, but he was worried, at what the doctor will do if he will get more mad. So I gave in again, a decision that I regret now, knowing how all this experience affected me and my life. During the c-section I felt horrible, cold, and like again no one was listen to me. I was really anxious, and the doctor did not say a nice word to me...all I could here was him talking with the other doctors about their hobbies. Like I was not there...And the recovery was hard, painfull inside and out. I was depressed for awhile, and I think the anxiety that I have know it is from them.
I'm sorry for having such a long message, but I needed to get it out. I feel mothers here understand my experience, and so many of them went sadly through the same experience.
So I really want a VBAC. I'm very scared, because I did not read much about it yet. But not more scared than a c-section.
Thank you all
PS: Excuse my spelling or grammar mistakes. I did not have time to proofread it. Hope you can ignore them this time