Originally Posted by Flor
Public or private school? I just can't imagine a school wanting to get involved in this sort of thing. There have been so many years when our parenting agreements were out of date. Like it said things about preschool until he was in 4th grade. There are also always little things we trade (like switch mon for tues) but don't want to go back to court when we all agree. Also, they would release to your parents but not to the childrens father? That is shocking to me. If you had to pick up your kids on Friday when it was official "his" time, would they refuse you? Here if parent picked up a child when it wsn't his parenting time, it would be a matter for the courts or the police, but not the school. I'm a teacher and when I take roll, I can see the restraining orders. Other than that, I'm not told a thing about custody. Both biological parents are listed as "parents" with a check mark next to the one who lives with the child. That is all we know.
These things vary so widely, eh? My two kids go to public school. It does have a restricted entry, parents have to sign in and out, and are not allowed in the school hallways unaccompanied by a staff member. For example, I can't run dd's lunch up to her class. She has to come to the office to get it, the receptionist brings it to her, or if I insist on going, someone will bring me.
Anyway, to answer some questions: they would not release my kids to my parents without my verbal consent first, or if they couldn't reach exdp in an emergency - as they are the next contact on the emergency list. If they just showed up, nope - they couldn't have them.
If we do a switcheroo for one day (like he picks them up for dinner during the week) I need to call the school and let them know what time he'll be there. We've never encountered the issue of me picking them up on his parenting time, because school is out at 3:30 - I get them at school, he picks them up at my place at 6:00.
As far as being in a situation with an 'out of date' court order, I could get in BIG trouble for that. It's my responsibility as the CP to make sure the school has a) accurate documentation and b) accurate contact information - for all parties involved.
For example: I got heat one time for making arrangements with exdp to pick up the girls for me when I was going out. The school had to track me down on my cell phone while my ex had to sit there twiddling his thumbs waiting for confirmation. I do realize I'm really lucky in that he appreciates the fact the school is very strict and feels it's keeping the girls safe, as opposed to taking it personally.
When we did enrollment (which incidentally we did together) they told us several horror stories of the CP (mom or dad) coming to get the kids after school and them already being gone with the NCP or a grandparent and the confusion - police being called, trying to track down the other parent.
Soooo, I make it an utmost priority to stick to our schedule as much as possible, but in the event that plans change, I make sure to take two minutes to call the school and let them know. Also, if I send someone who the staff hasn't met before - they ask for photo ID. The first time my mum picked up dd from after school care, dd ran down the hall screaming 'Nana! Nana!' and they still asked to see her ID.