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Mothers of Daughters and Pornography

post #1 of 148
Thread Starter 
Do you feel that your views reguarding women and sexuality have changed now that you've become a mother of a daughter (or son, for that matter)?
post #2 of 148
No not at all, especially in regards to pornography. It has only emboldened my stance.

I have two daughters and it truly has only solidified my feelings and viewpoints.

Deep down in the pit of my stomach I knew from a very early age how I felt about it.
post #3 of 148
Nope, I still feel the same about it. I have one daughter and one son.
post #4 of 148
No, my views haven't changed.
post #5 of 148
Since you asked about sons too....

It hasn't changed my views, but solidified them. Looking at them and realizing they're growing up to be men someday, my views on sexuality (and the treatment of women) have only gotten stronger.
post #6 of 148
[QUOTE=Porcelain Interior;13695385]No not at all, especially in regards to pornography. It has only emboldened my stance.

I have two daughters and it truly has only solidified my feelings and viewpoints.

Deep down in the pit of my stomach I knew from a very early age how I felt about it.[/QUOTE]

This is exactly how I feel, the bolding especially. I thought it was nasty as a child; an ethics course at the public university I attended solidified my views.
I have very, very, very strong opinions on this issue....
Objectification of persons is not okay with me under any circumstances.

ETA, it does add a new dimension to think of my 2 yo daughter having to deal with this some day. and I am very happy to have a daughter, because i don't think I would deal with this issue well with a son.
post #7 of 148
Thread Starter 
[QUOTE=MaterPrimaePuellae;13695723]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Porcelain Interior View Post
No not at all, especially in regards to pornography. It has only emboldened my stance.

I have two daughters and it truly has only solidified my feelings and viewpoints.

Deep down in the pit of my stomach I knew from a very early age how I felt about it.[/QUOTE]

This is exactly how I feel, the bolding especially. I thought it was nasty as a child; an ethics course at the public university I attended solidified my views.
I have very, very, very strong opinions on this issue....
Objectification of persons is not okay with me under any circumstances.

ETA, it does add a new dimension to think of my 2 yo daughter having to deal with this some day. and I am very happy to have a daughter, because i don't think I would deal with this issue well with a son.
Both of you managed to write exactly what I wanted to say in a conversation last night.. I have watched porn before, and I have tried to enjoy it (with my partner) but I, honestly, feel sick to my stomach when I think about it Luckily he doesn't have a desire to watch either, but it definetely doesn't bother him in the same ways as it does me..
post #8 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by Porcelain Interior View Post
No not at all, especially in regards to pornography. It has only emboldened my stance.

I have two daughters and it truly has only solidified my feelings and viewpoints.

Deep down in the pit of my stomach I knew from a very early age how I felt about it.
YES, same here.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cappuccinosmom View Post
Since you asked about sons too....

It hasn't changed my views, but solidified them. Looking at them and realizing they're growing up to be men someday, my views on sexuality (and the treatment of women) have only gotten stronger.
Ditto.

I am very open with my sons about the treatment of women, why it's wrong, etc. They are 15, 13, & 9. The 9yo, not so much yet, but the teens & I talk about this.
post #9 of 148
I had the same feelings as a child. I don't have daughters, but it is equally important to me to impart awareness into my sons of gender inequity and sexism. They're little though, and I have no clue how to really go about it. I'm still loathe to discuss the "bad" aspects of the world with them. My views have not changed. Until now, they've probably become less on my mind b/c I'm so preoccupied with parenting.
post #10 of 148
No, didn't change anything. Well, maybe I'm actually even less inhibited than before kids, but that's probably just because I'm older.
post #11 of 148
My views have changed since having DD but not because of. They've changed because I've done a bit more reading on the subject than before she was born. I have a less popular view on the issue, heh.
post #12 of 148
[QUOTE=MaterPrimaePuellae;13695723]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Porcelain Interior View Post
No not at all, especially in regards to pornography. It has only emboldened my stance.

I have two daughters and it truly has only solidified my feelings and viewpoints.

Deep down in the pit of my stomach I knew from a very early age how I felt about it.[/QUOTE]

This is exactly how I feel, the bolding especially. I thought it was nasty as a child; an ethics course at the public university I attended solidified my views.
I have very, very, very strong opinions on this issue....
Objectification of persons is not okay with me under any circumstances.

ETA, it does add a new dimension to think of my 2 yo daughter having to deal with this some day. and I am very happy to have a daughter, because i don't think I would deal with this issue well with a son.

This, absolutely. Bolding mine.
post #13 of 148
No, it hasn't changed my position and I have 2 dds.

I don't like it. But I firmly believe in freedom of speech, so if that's what consenting adults want to manufacture or consume, that's up to them.
post #14 of 148
Nope, hasn't changed. I still feel that it's primarily a freedom of speech and choice issue, and is fine (even healthy) for consenting adults to enjoy - both male and female. Not all porn is created equal - there is undoubtedly misogynistic material out there, and it's worth discussing, though such a discussion is probably beyond the scope of this conversation. But you can't paint it all with the same brush.

Of course I will do everything I can to protect my daughter from material that's inappropriate to her age, and hope to help her develop a healthy body image and view of sexuality - and to that end, I am MUCH more concerned about her exposure to Barbie, Bratz and Disney princesses, and what they say about standards of beauty and gender roles, than I am about porn.

If she grows up secure about her body and has healthy self esteem, I have no worries about the existence of porn. If she chooses to explore it when she's of age, it'll be none of my business - I just hope my job is well done re: self-worth.
post #15 of 148
Yes.

Before I had children, I had some pretty black and white views on things. I also thought I knew with certainty right from wrong.

Since the birth of my child, I realize more and more that things aren't black and white, and that I don't really know what's right or what's wrong, and that things I thought were so terrible are really okay, just part of being human. I also realized that people are born with good intentions and good spirits, and a huge variety of behaviors is something to celebrate, not condemn.

I have become more accepting, more flexible, more tolerant of the large variety of values that make up humanity; less judgemental, less certain I know what is right for everyone, and more humble.
post #16 of 148
^^ Great post.
post #17 of 148
Not much. Porn has it's place for consenting adults. That has nothing to do with my being a parent or not.
post #18 of 148
I don't have daughters yet, but dealing with the hypersexual media and porn culture is one of the reasons I'm terrified - terrified that if I do have daughters some day, that I won't know how to teach them how to be resilient in the face of such toxicity.

I too believe in free speech, but in so doing I acknowledge that some speech is destructive and causes damage. Society pays a price and women especially pay a price when it comes to porn.
post #19 of 148
I don't think it exists in a vacuum and I think as it is, it has a whole lot to do with perpetuating sexism and objectification of women. And this has everything to how we raise our daughters and sons b/c they live in this society. I don't see why people had to come in defending porn.
post #20 of 148
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahope View Post
I don't have daughters yet, but dealing with the hypersexual media and porn culture is one of the reasons I'm terrified - terrified that if I do have daughters some day, that I won't know how to teach them how to be resilient in the face of such toxicity.

I too believe in free speech, but in so doing I acknowledge that some speech is destructive and causes damage. Society pays a price and women especially pay a price when it comes to porn.
Great post and good point about free speech. Having a daughter (and son) has solidified my viewpoints.
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