Losing my confidence...

[mamakah]

My 12 month old is not vaxed. I have no intention on vaxing him. Last week he had a consistant fever peaking at 104.5 one night. I've read all the books on treating sick kids, I know that a fever is good, to let it run its course, etc. etc. But, this was the first time DS was sick and pretty much all the info I had crammed my brain with left me and I kind of panicked. Turns out he has strep and a double ear infection. He goes to a naturopath who doesn't like to prescribe abx, but he said they were warranted in this case because of the infections. So, now he is on abx, probiotics and SA.
Maybe it is just because I am exhausted from carrying for my LO while sick, but I am really losing my confidence in myself and my ability to make him strong and care for him during illnesses that have been labeled "scary" and "life threatening".

First I'm baffled as to how my breast fed, sometimes solid eating, son got such horrible infections. I feel like I have not nurtured his immune system properly. Which in turn scares me if he were to get some of the VADs.

Secpnd, I feel like in the event of a VAD hitting our house, I will just panic like I did this week with this illness.

I'm probably being too hard on myself. I just hate that he is on abx at 1 yr old.
I want to point out that I still have confidence in all the research I have done on the subject. I'm just losing my confidence in myself that I can handle pertussis, measles, mumps, rubella, etc.
Any support or advice would be greatly appreciated right now.
This is my first child, so therefore, my first time dealing with an illness in a child.

TIA

[makuahine]

I don't really have an advice for you since my daughter is only five months old and we haven't gone through any illnesses yet (knock on wood!), but I just wanted to say that if this is the first sickness your LO has had and he is 12 months then it seems he is very healthy. I know TONS of infants who go on antibiotics in the first year or who have cold after cold, so please don't feel like you haven't "nurtured his immune system properly".

Like I said, I can't give any advice, but if I were you I wouldn't let this experience scare me into getting my LO vaccinated. I really believe that you would find the strength to deal with each illness if you had to, though hopefully you won't. Sorry I don't have more to offer, just .

[ema-adama]

The first time DS was sick was when he was about 9-10 months old - with croup.
It is very scary to see your LO suffering and miserable and so completely dependant on you. Especially the first time they are sick. DH and I were complete wrecks - rushing off to buy humidifyer and thermometer and stock up on cofee after sleepless nights.

For me, as soon as DS got better *I* felt much better, and I knew that I had the skills to take care of him when he is sick (including knowing when to go to the doctor).

It gets easier. Although it is never easy to see your LO sick - it just becomes less scary.

You are a very capable mama

[MissRubyandKen]

First, hugs to you for having a sick lo. Second, it sounds like you are doing wonderful, especially for a first time, first illness momma. This is definitely not the funnest part of motherhood. I cannot say I was so aware and careful with my first child. There is nothing wrong with reevaluating vaccines for your child. It will either solidify your current stance or change it. Trust yourself to know best for your child. I would suggest to take it slow and not make any decisions so close to this illness that it is made solely based upon it. But if the reality of your benefit/risk ratio has changed, then it has, and it is good to look at it again. Our views on many things shift and evolve as we age as mothers, it is the way of things.

My youngest is 14 months and just a couple of months ago was sick for the first time with roseola. I walked the floors and rocked her in our armchair for four nights so that she could sleep better through the fevers. Its tiresome and at times worrisome when they are ill. They do depend solely on us for care. It does get a little easier though. This is my third child. The older two are 7 and 9. The first night her fever went up I was worried. I had dp run to the store for Tylenol and Motrin, even though I had no intention of using them. Then my confidence kicked in and I knew I could handle it. It had just been so long since I had such a sick lo. We never used the medicine and I only used a warm rag on her face and neck one time to lower the fever a bit. I was sure she had roseola, but not 100% until the fever broke and the rash came. When the what ifs creep in, I banish them and focus on the child instead, assessing her real situation and needs in the moment.

Last, I would like to say, that for me I would doubly focus on researching the Hib and pnuemococcal vaccines if those are ones you are considering. If my child had strep and needed antibitotics I would be very wary of those two vaccines, even when those are the two that I would likely be considering the benefits of the most in that situation. I'd focus research on replacement disease and weigh all risks/benefits carefully.

Hope your lo is feeling well.

[mommaof5]

It is scary when our little ones are sick, you just have to remind yourself that now that when they do get sick it just makes them stronger. My little guy has already had chicken pox and pertussis. I questioned my choices in the thick of him being sick, but now every time he gets sick he does run a fever but it really never turns into anything else. One thing I figured out is that colloidal silver is a good substitute when your child does need an antibiotic. Just buy some and keep it in your house and when you think it is time to take your child to the doctor I just start the colloidal silver. All the doctors can do is give you an antibiotic. Grapefruit seed extract works well for that too, I add it to my kids Emergent C drink.

[tanyalynn]

I think the biggest shortcoming of the non-vaccinating movement is that there is a real lack of information on how to support our kids through illnesses so that they don't become serious. This should be included in every article talking about the choice not to vaccinate, though to be fair, I think all kids should get nutritional support through all their illnesses, regardless of their vaccination status.

The ONLY reason my son hasn't been on antibiotics a dozen times already (he just turned 3) is that I do a lot of work to support his body when he's sick (he gets sick a lot). The old posts by Momtezuma Tuatara were a godsend to me, do a Search for them. I mean--our food supply isn't as nutrient-rich as it used to be, many of us didn't eat great growing up or before we had kids, so we've probably got nutritional deficiencies (I know I do), the burden of decades of environmental toxins just adds stress to their bodies, so our kids really deserve extra support when they're sick and their bodies are burning through the nutrients.

You didn't do anything wrong, I'm not at all trying to imply that. I bemoan the lack of easily-available information on how to support our kids to prevent regular illnesses from becoming serious.

I don't consider myself at all an expert, I still have a whole lot to learn, but these are a few of the things that are important to us.

Supps for us: vitD (long-term) and vitA (I've used both short and long-term), bowel tolerance SA for every illness, extra zinc (I use long-term for our situation, most use as short-term support), a multivit with Bs is reasonable unless you've looked at your diet and the kids really do consume enough of the various B vitamins. Selenium's important too (Momtezuma Tuatara's pet mineral), throw some brazil nuts into your diet and you'll really help this one.

http://mothering.com/discussions/sho...d.php?t=406983
Good, long thread on nutrition and the immune system.

In terms of food: easily digestible foods--homemade soup, with homemade stock or veggie broth (potato peel stock is mineral rich, different minerals than homemade stock)--I do more when the kids seem sicker, and less for minor colds that the kids are feeling fine with; gluten and dairy don't agree with us so we don't eat them, ever; the kids eat some sugar but not a whole lot; on an ongoing basis we eat homemade kimchee and other fermented veggies for their probiotic goodness.

That may look like a long list, but my son gets sick a lot, we have more going on than typical, many people wouldn't have to do as much.

[Mama2Kayla]

Originally Posted by TanyaLopez

I think the biggest shortcoming of the non-vaccinating movement is that there is a real lack of information on how to support our kids through illnesses so that they don't become serious. This should be included in every article talking about the choice not to vaccinate, though to be fair, I think all kids should get nutritional support through all their illnesses, regardless of their vaccination status.

The ONLY reason my son hasn't been on antibiotics a dozen times already (he just turned 3) is that I do a lot of work to support his body when he's sick (he gets sick a lot). The old posts by Momtezuma Tuatara were a godsend to me, do a Search for them. I mean--our food supply isn't as nutrient-rich as it used to be, many of us didn't eat great growing up or before we had kids, so we've probably got nutritional deficiencies (I know I do), the burden of decades of environmental toxins just adds stress to their bodies, so our kids really deserve extra support when they're sick and their bodies are burning through the nutrients.

You didn't do anything wrong, I'm not at all trying to imply that. I bemoan the lack of easily-available information on how to support our kids to prevent regular illnesses from becoming serious.

I don't consider myself at all an expert, I still have a whole lot to learn, but these are a few of the things that are important to us.

Supps for us: vitD (long-term) and vitA (I've used both short and long-term), bowel tolerance SA for every illness, extra zinc (I use long-term for our situation, most use as short-term support), a multivit with Bs is reasonable unless you've looked at your diet and the kids really do consume enough of the various B vitamins. Selenium's important too (Momtezuma Tuatara's pet mineral), throw some brazil nuts into your diet and you'll really help this one.

http://mothering.com/discussions/sho...d.php?t=406983
Good, long thread on nutrition and the immune system.

In terms of food: easily digestible foods--homemade soup, with homemade stock or veggie broth (potato peel stock is mineral rich, different minerals than homemade stock)--I do more when the kids seem sicker, and less for minor colds that the kids are feeling fine with; gluten and dairy don't agree with us so we don't eat them, ever; the kids eat some sugar but not a whole lot; on an ongoing basis we eat homemade kimchee and other fermented veggies for their probiotic goodness.

That may look like a long list, but my son gets sick a lot, we have more going on than typical, many people wouldn't have to do as much.

I have to agree. Learning how to support your lo's immune system and what to do in the event of an illness is sooo important, especially if you are not vaxing. It really helps to have a plan of action for your childs illness and for you to be able to recognize when it becomes neccissary to seek outside medical help. Those things can go along way in helping you feel more confident when your child is sick.

[medusaatemydog]

Originally Posted by TanyaLopez

I think the biggest shortcoming of the non-vaccinating movement is that there is a real lack of information on how to support our kids through illnesses so that they don't become serious. This should be included in every article talking about the choice not to vaccinate, though to be fair, I think all kids should get nutritional support through all their illnesses, regardless of their vaccination status.

The ONLY reason my son hasn't been on antibiotics a dozen times already (he just turned 3) is that I do a lot of work to support his body when he's sick (he gets sick a lot). The old posts by Momtezuma Tuatara were a godsend to me, do a Search for them. I mean--our food supply isn't as nutrient-rich as it used to be, many of us didn't eat great growing up or before we had kids, so we've probably got nutritional deficiencies (I know I do), the burden of decades of environmental toxins just adds stress to their bodies, so our kids really deserve extra support when they're sick and their bodies are burning through the nutrients.

You didn't do anything wrong, I'm not at all trying to imply that. I bemoan the lack of easily-available information on how to support our kids to prevent regular illnesses from becoming serious.

I don't consider myself at all an expert, I still have a whole lot to learn, but these are a few of the things that are important to us.

Supps for us: vitD (long-term) and vitA (I've used both short and long-term), bowel tolerance SA for every illness, extra zinc (I use long-term for our situation, most use as short-term support), a multivit with Bs is reasonable unless you've looked at your diet and the kids really do consume enough of the various B vitamins. Selenium's important too (Momtezuma Tuatara's pet mineral), throw some brazil nuts into your diet and you'll really help this one.

http://mothering.com/discussions/sho...d.php?t=406983
Good, long thread on nutrition and the immune system.

In terms of food: easily digestible foods--homemade soup, with homemade stock or veggie broth (potato peel stock is mineral rich, different minerals than homemade stock)--I do more when the kids seem sicker, and less for minor colds that the kids are feeling fine with; gluten and dairy don't agree with us so we don't eat them, ever; the kids eat some sugar but not a whole lot; on an ongoing basis we eat homemade kimchee and other fermented veggies for their probiotic goodness.

That may look like a long list, but my son gets sick a lot, we have more going on than typical, many people wouldn't have to do as much.

I miss the days of Momtezuma! She is AMAZING!:

[MountainMamaGC]

You have to realize that our LOs are encountering these bugs for the first time ever. They will get sick, vaxed or not. They get sick when they are little so they can be healthy adults. You just have to do your best to support their little bodies to get them through it. It is not a failure if your child should need antibiotics. These things happen.

[mamakah]

Thanks all! I am definately not questioning my choice not to vax. Like I said, I'm just feeling insecure about my abilities to nurse him through and prevent illnesses. I'm sure when he feels better this time that I will regain some of that confidence!
Does anyone have any books about nurturing the immune system with food?

[ema-adama]

Aviva Jill Romm addresses that a bit in her book on vaccination.

I have found that it is hard to go wrong if you are eating a varied wholefoods organic diet with daily doses of sunshine and clean water. The link given to the mothering discussion with MT is very very good. I personally have learnt so much from reading her posts, and I know I have a lot more to learn.

Cutting down on toxic cleaning, hygeine, decor etc is also on my radar - a little bit at a time.

At the moment I am confused about supplements. I am sure they have an important role to play - but I have yet to figure out how to use them responsibly in my family. For me it is definitly baby steps.

This isn't directly about building a strong immune system, but there is much food for thought

[tanyalynn]

Originally Posted by ema-adama

This isn't directly about building a strong immune system, but there is much food for thought

Holy cr@p!!! It has the pictures! I bought the book to get the pictures, they are stunning. And sorta sad, my son's face (kiddo #2) shows clearly that his nutritional deficiencies were worst than my daughter. Seeing Price's theory play out with my kids is not exactly great news, except that I am working hard to supply extra nutrients so the kids can play nutritional catch-up while they're young.

:::

Thanks for posting that link, I had no idea the whole thing was online!

[tanyalynn]

Originally Posted by sages

Does anyone have any books about nurturing the immune system with food?

I don't know of a book that uses high enough doses of supplements, or doesn't do something really weird like suggest beta-carotene for kids instead of preformed A. I had to lurk and read old posts and just gather good ideas, mostly online.

[momma_unlimited]

Joette Calabrese's "Secret Spoonfuls" is a really good cd/booklet. She is the Weston A Price's board homeopath and she's great (we use her). I think Mary Bove's stuff is awesome, she is coming at it with herbs (which are a food, right?) and its all for kids. I liked "How To Raise Healthy Kids In spite of Your Pediatrician)... not about food, but good... and I like anything by Michaela Glockler (kind of anthroposphic/waldorfy perspective..).

I've been right where you are, and without my husband's support (he's a homeopath by schooling) I think I would have fallen apart. I've been through croup, whooping cough, and scarlet fever ("strep throat" untreated with abx) and they were all pretty scary... but you know what? My kids don't have constant colds- when they get something, they get it strong and they come away much better off, imo.

[swissmom]

Sages, I can totally relate to you. As long as DS is jumping around happily, I am completely confident that I can handle an illness. I then am even considering to send him to a pox or measles party (never did in fact). But as soon as he has a little fever, I have to pull myself together to not expect the worst. That said, there is a lot of info out there about how to treat childhood diseases. BUT, considering DS had a severe vax reaction, first it would have to be diagnosed correctly which is difficult. And second, there is none to very little info out there about how to treat a vax reaction. A friend's son had to endure years of dubious treatments, none of which helped him get back his speaking ability he lost after the MMR. Reminding me about this fact helps me to stay calm whenever DS is unwell.