At a loss for words

[ChickFamily]

So I belong to a birth club group for my younger son and the debate on circumcision got brought up and here is what one girl said:

Check it out. God wants our babies to be happy and healthy, and little boys who have penises that look like dad's are healthier emotionally than those who don't. So... if your DH is cut your baby should be too.

and another girl said this:


Oh, and I only circ'd my baby so he'd have a purty penis. Un-circ'd looks funny to me. I expect his wife to thank my profusely. How's that for research???


why it bothers me so much is they know their could be mamas in the group who dont do it yet they say things like that and they were actually responding to a mama who was upset that a person went off on her for circumcizing her son and she believed it shouldnt happen.

At one of my MNO (moms night out) I was talking to two moms and somehow this subject got brought up, I said my first son was my second wasnt and what really sealed the deal was that insurance doesnt cover it and they made a statement like eww you should pay for it to get done than bc that way he looks normal and we think that is gross and i said well as his mama I hope he never meets a girl like you who could think that way about him.

I guess it really bothers me that people are soo rude. Before I knew better and did research (b/c my first son is circed) that was the only thing I knew but I still wouldnt/didnt make another mom feel like something was wrong if she had an intact boy. Why do so many people feel the need to do that?

[grendal82002]

I've often wondered that too. Parents who circumcise would say "I did it because its cleaner." Then parents of intact children will rebuttal it, saying that "research shows that it doesn't make a difference regarding cleanliness." Then the parents of circ'd kids for some reason will say they were being attacked and that they did no attacking. Yet in the end they were the ones that started it. (I feel this makes no sense but i'm going to leave it anyway).

[Greg B]

Just amazing how little people actually think...instead they spout off at the mouth with whatever they have heard, just repeating things.

Hang in there, your ability to think is obviously needed badly....

Regards

[Fellow Traveler]

It's a psychological thing. They've made a choice to do something that they can never take back that and for reasons that any rational thinker knows are flimsy in the best light so it's a defense mechanism. I'd bet many had second thoughts and concerns but they did it so there MUST be a good reason. Inside though they know there isn't.

[AnnaNova]

one of my friends also brought up that argument - 'so he looks like daddy', well not as much brought up as just casually mentioned during a conversation, what i wanted to reply, but actually didnt since we werent debating or anything was 'so if my hisband was missing a limb, i would have to cut the baby's off 'so he looks like daddy??????'' those arguments brilliant...
and doesnt the fact that the insurance doesnt cover it would finally tell you that it is NOT necessary???

[bluegirl91695]

It is frustrating that people can't get over the "norm" of what they've experienced and understand the larger issue of circumcision. My own sister made a statement akin to "Eww, you didn't get him circumcised, that's gross!" the first time she saw my son's intact penis. Luckily I was able to calmly ask her to support my decision even if she doesn't agree and to never, ever saw anything derogatory about my son's penis again. She didn't even realize what she had done, it was a knee-jerk reaction.

[lawmama1984]

Originally Posted by ChickFamily

At one of my MNO (moms night out) I was talking to two moms and somehow this subject got brought up, I said my first son was my second wasnt and what really sealed the deal was that insurance doesnt cover it and they made a statement like eww you should pay for it to get done than bc that way he looks normal and we think that is gross and i said well as his mama I hope he never meets a girl like you who could think that way about him.

I guess it really bothers me that people are soo rude. Before I knew better and did research (b/c my first son is circed) that was the only thing I knew but I still wouldnt/didnt make another mom feel like something was wrong if she had an intact boy. Why do so many people feel the need to do that?

I have had a lot of the "ewww" comments. And to be honest, I was an "ew" mommy before I was informed about the (numerous) benefits of leaving my DS intact. To me, now that I have done the research, what is "ew" is mutilating a child's genitalia without their consent. Some of these people who have made these comments have seen my DS's intact penis, and honestly, once they do, it is not an issue at all. I mean, really...what is gross about seeing a piece of skin that a child is born with?

I agree with PP that people do this because it is considered socially acceptable and they make these comments to soothe their own consciences. I now reply with a "IMO circumcision is gross" or "I left the decision to my son on how he wanted his genitals to look." Really, with the information that is out there, there is no reason to RIC, so don't feel that you have to justify your decision, other than to inform. But I would also recommend that you don't give up. This is coming from a mom who was SO sure she would circumcise. My father is a doctor and he told me I "had" to circumcise for a variety of reasons, but when it came down to it, I saw through all the false arguments they are taught in medical school and I am so grateful for it.

Also, especially, since you mentioned church...we are not allowed to discuss religion on these boards, but you may want to google whatever religion you are and circumcision. You will be surprised at the number of post that come back in favor of leaving your child intact.

[gstarnyc]

male point of view

I was circumcised at birth. Mom thought she was doing me a favor. I truly wish my mother would have let this decision to me rather than making it for me. I would not have opted to have it done. It has haunted me ever since I found out (35 years). I hope not to offend anyone who has already made this decision as there is no going backward. That being the case, this message is to moms to be. Please remember that your son will most definitely have a preference. If you make the decision for him and he doesn't like what you done...it will follow him the rest of his life. If he decides he wants to be circumcised he will get it done. Please don't start your son's life doing something he might regret and has to live with the results the rest of his life.

[4chunut1]

Originally Posted by gstarnyc

... Please don't start your son's life doing something he might regret and has to live with the results the rest of his life.

A very powerful plea...one every mother (and father) who is contemplating circumcision for their son should seriously consider. My parents' decision to leave me intact was one of the most important things they every did for me. Your son will forever thank you for leaving him intact after he becomes sexually active. And should he NOT feel that way, then HE can make the decision...