I was visiting with a pregnant co-worker last week, with a third person, and cultural ideas came up (we have a co-worker from China, and even though she's been in the US for almost 20 years, she still can't get over the idea that it's better to have boys than girls). That gave me the opening to say "Cultural conditioning is an amazing thing - that's why people STILL circumcise babies in this country!"
The third person asked the pg lady if she was planning to circumcise, and she said "My husband thinks the baby should look like him". I did a lot of talking (as calmly as I could!), including mentioning that our insurance doesn't cover cosmetic surgery, nor does it cover complications from cosmetic surgery, so if the baby needs to have his circumcision repaired later, that's out of pocket as well.
I told her about the one circumcision that I heard, and how the screams still haunt me, 12 years later.
I gave my standard "What if Baby doesn't have the same eye color or hair color as his Dad? Why is it important for a penis to "match", when hardly anyone will ever see it?" I also told her about my 14-year-old twin boys, who don't even know if their best friends are circumcised or not, because they don't look and they don't ask.
Later I e-mailed her a LOT of information, including how the operation is done (that the foreskin is attached to the glans), and that anesthesia is often not used. I described the most common and severe complications, including bleeding, infection, adhesions, meatal stenosis, and death.
I offered advice for if she DOES decide to cirucmicse the baby - wait a few weeks until breastfeeding is established; make sure full pain relief is ordered, and stay with the baby to make sure that they allow enough time for the pain relief to take effect; use Tylenol for at least a week after the operation, because it's going to hurt like crazy every time he pees (and if she has any tearing, she will be able to relate).
I also described intact penis care (this was a much shorter paragraph).
I got a response back, thanking me for the information. She said there are so many things to think about when you have your first baby, she appreicated knowledge from someone who has been there.
Cross your fingers and hope she can convince her DH!
The third person asked the pg lady if she was planning to circumcise, and she said "My husband thinks the baby should look like him". I did a lot of talking (as calmly as I could!), including mentioning that our insurance doesn't cover cosmetic surgery, nor does it cover complications from cosmetic surgery, so if the baby needs to have his circumcision repaired later, that's out of pocket as well.
I told her about the one circumcision that I heard, and how the screams still haunt me, 12 years later.
I gave my standard "What if Baby doesn't have the same eye color or hair color as his Dad? Why is it important for a penis to "match", when hardly anyone will ever see it?" I also told her about my 14-year-old twin boys, who don't even know if their best friends are circumcised or not, because they don't look and they don't ask.
Later I e-mailed her a LOT of information, including how the operation is done (that the foreskin is attached to the glans), and that anesthesia is often not used. I described the most common and severe complications, including bleeding, infection, adhesions, meatal stenosis, and death.
I offered advice for if she DOES decide to cirucmicse the baby - wait a few weeks until breastfeeding is established; make sure full pain relief is ordered, and stay with the baby to make sure that they allow enough time for the pain relief to take effect; use Tylenol for at least a week after the operation, because it's going to hurt like crazy every time he pees (and if she has any tearing, she will be able to relate).
I also described intact penis care (this was a much shorter paragraph).
I got a response back, thanking me for the information. She said there are so many things to think about when you have your first baby, she appreicated knowledge from someone who has been there.
Cross your fingers and hope she can convince her DH!
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