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Workshop #12 High Technology: Uses and Abuses - Page 2

post #21 of 30
Thread Starter 
There are some articles on the website about this issue.

http://www.mothering.com/articles/gr...rn_off_tv.html

http://www.mothering.com/articles/gr...ole_again.html

Quote:
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children under the age of two not watch TV or videos, and that older children watch only one to two hours per day of nonviolent, educational TV. Young children watching TV are routinely described as transfixed, passive, and nonverbal. One of television's appeals for parents is that it serves as an immediate way to silence and sedate active toddlers. But such nonverbal absorption does more than simply relax and amuse preschoolers. Language spoken by actors on TV does not have the same effect as real-life language experiences. The Journal of Broadcasting reported that language skills among American children declined as TV viewing time increased.
post #22 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by abimommy View Post
Interesting. A few yrs ago I read the book, "Endangered Minds: Why Children Don't Think And What We Can Do About It" by Jane M. Healy

She speaks on the dangers TV has on growing brains. The most effected is their speech.
post #23 of 30
Campaign for a commercial free childhood ( http://www.commercialexploitation.org/ ) is an amazing resource - we use the DVR to make shows the kids want to watch commercial free. It makes them cognizant of what they WANT to watch, and it also allows us to zip right through every chuckee cheeze and cimbalta commercial they put out there. BLEH! My bigger concern is the internet right now. I have an almost 11 yr old who is fascinated with it, all her friends are on it constantly. Whether they make better choices than she does, or their parents are less concerned, I don't know. I have spoken to some who share my concern, but others don't seem bothered by possible or actual problems. The kids are not doing anything truly naughty, and nothing illegal, but it still feels like they are in deep water w/out knowing how to swim against the current. She has gone against my express direction and started her own email account (with the signature "sexy kitten"), and has figured out how to online chat w/people on google. She was getting a lot of spam in the account we set up together (which had parental controls on, so not sure if she figured out how to get the controls off or what - before I had a chance to figure it out, ...), soshe decided to set up a new account. She had to lie to get it set up w/out parental consent. She did this with a friend on a school computer. I have spoken to the school, and wil continue to be in contact with them, but it is much more out of my control than I'd like. I think it's getting better - the kids realize that they are jeopardizing their own freedom by abusing it, but it's a bunch of 4-5-6th graders! They hardly understand how much they put themselves at risk by using that kind of language (when I asked her what "sexy kitten" means to her she says it means she's cute. sigh), or by lying and getting in over their own heads. Her friend's mom also banned her from the puter (which is what I did as well) for the summer. It's a hard lesson. She's allowed to use things like typing tutor and creative arts programs we have on disc, but that's it. Anyone else dealing with this issue??? What are your guidelines? Do you have set rules for the whole family (time/age limits, etc.) or do you do it child by child? I am thinking that she will have to share my email until she's in high school, maybe 15? Hopefully by then she will have a much clearer understanding of how language and intention can be misread, misused, and misunderstood online. Don't we just know it! Any ideas would surely be appreciated!
post #24 of 30
I thought this Mothering article about social networking sites is helpful, too.
post #25 of 30
I HATE TV. DH LOVES it. Honestly, he just sit and watches the thing all the time. Funny, when I go to his parents house, his dad has the TV on ALL.THE.TIME. Drives me batty. I feel like it sucks the life force out of me.

However, I have tried to go into a different room when DH has the tv on and I feel like I am so isolated and away from him. And now with DS, I have gotten to the point that spending 45 minutes in his room while he nurses and falls asleep, wakes up when I move, and then we start over drives me bonkers. I found that if I sit in the living room with the lights out and the tv turned to a show on HGTV or Food network with low volume, he will fall asleep and STAY that way. Oh, boy. I do think though that it is because I am not stressed out. And it is in one of the cooler rooms in the house (we don't have air conditioning).

I have told DH absolutely, positively no news or forensic science dramas around DS (or me for that matter because I FREAK out when he is on business and I hear one little peep in the house). So at least the tv shows consist of how to decorate or cook.

We do watch Baby Einstein (and I am normally opposed to Disney, but I let this one go) and do the ones with sign language and sign with him. So, he has learned things this way and they shows are actually pretty good.

Now, DS has a fascination with garbage trucks after my nephews birthday (my sister got a garbage truck to show up) and now we have to watch videos of garbage trucks a LOT. I do not know what to think of this. I would rather him play outside, but we have been having a lot of heat waves and I don't want to sit outside in 95F heat. At 21 months, he is too young to go out alone

This is such a frustrating thing for me.....
post #26 of 30
It totally grosses me out when dh sits and watches TV w/the kids and calls that QUALITY TIME. BLEH! I call it ME time - as in, I put in a video for the kids so I can snag a break! He will watch shows that I don't think are very educational, either. Sometimes it's ok stuff - but gorry, sometimes it's stuff that I really think is scary for littles! Lots of stuff from the History channel, How it's Made, but also how to blow stuff up, dirty jobs (which is probably the least offensive of all the shows imho), and lots of sports.

I guess as far as babies are concerned. under 2's that is, I did let dd watch a few shows (teletubbies was her fave, it was on right after Mr. Rodgers), but only as a break for me, not because I thought it was doing her any harm. She was always up for doing something fun if I participated, so making something in the kitchen, play dough, painting etc. Using these as a lure were not enough on their own, but were enough if I did it with her. Social creatures...
post #27 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by FelixMom View Post
I am sooo glad this topic was chosen.

My oldest is now 7 yrs old, and he mentions from time to time that his classmates are on MSN chat, or that so-and-so is playing XYZ on their Nintendo DS. DS1 is allowed to play computer games that he's found on www.agame.com. Prior to this, he was on a more educational website, uptoten.

We don't have a TV at home, and borrow DVDs or watch stuff about animals on YouTube with DS1. I do notice, to my chagrin, more and more kids toting around their Nintendo DS to restaurants to zone out and keep boredom at bay. Whatever happened to inventing games or reading a book?

I have two questions, first one: How have families with older kids managed in controlling time and access to the computer? We only have one, which DH and I need for e-mail correspondence and other volunteer projects.

If you have Windows Vista or forward, there are built in parental controls. You could set up an account that is only for the children and block access to the one that you and your husband will use through the use of a password--if you need help, PM me, and I will be more than glad to walk you through how to set that up. The account can be set to block out certain content that you deem objectionable.

you could also get an account with AOL, if you desire your children to have access to cool things, such as homework help, which I found useful growing up, and games. You could set their screen names age appropriately.

Second question: I suspect school assignments will come into the picture in a year or two, requiring research--perhaps on the internet. How do you help your kids to become critical learners in evaluating the credibility of a website that they plan to use in a school project?

I'm an English major, and we have covered this topic at length. I had to take a corse specifically discussing how to determine if a resource was credible or not. This is what I've learned and can tell you today.

As far as accredible resources for research, you can be sure that any site ending in .edu is going to be educational. sometimes, in research projects, I use the Advanced Search tool that Google offers, as you can search for any sites you'd like and filter out those you do not. Also, teach your children to evaluate the credentials of the author writing the work that they will be citing in their research. What makes them qualified on the subject? Have they been cited by other authors? What is their reputation? A lot of this can be figured out through some simple Google searching. Of course, this will depend on the assignment. Wickie sites are not credible, and most schools will not allow their use, as the content can be edited and changed by anyone. also, sites that endorse selling certain products may not be a good resource because they would no doubt be bias. Sites like National Geographic, sites maintained by cultural organizations, and health sites would be good resources, depending on the nature of the project that is to be completed. I hope that I've helped.
post #28 of 30
As far as limiting TV goes, I’m not one for limiting activities for children, as it was not done to me growing up. One good thing about my parents is that they always let me regulate what I wanted to do and be a free spirit, finding contentment in the things I enjoyed. I was not one to watch TV much, as I could go months without watching. I was more of a book worm. Rather than trying to get me to do other things because my parents felt I was doing too much reading and nothing else, they would just engage in it with me and buy whatever books I wanted. To this day, I’m still a book worm, and I seldom watch TV, accept if there is going to be something on that is worth watching. I'm a fan of allowing the children to do what they feel is fun to them and allowing them to spend as much time as they'd like doing it, as that is what my parents did to me.

I won’t have to worry about children spending too much time in front of the TV, as I will plan activities that will provide some form of education to them, yet will be a whole lot of fun. For instance, we will go to the library at toddler age so they can pick out picture books of their choosing to help cultivate the love of reading in them. We will also read together at bedtime. I believe in doing this from infancy, as young as a newborn, as it will make the children smarter. I will also engage them in interesting conversation about different things, and we will go on fun outings to expose them to new things. Such as if I were to teach them about Native American culture, I’d take them to a place they can experience it physically to make everything real to them. So, too much TV will not be a problem because we will always be doing other things together, and I can rest assured that they are getting exposure to many new and different things, as well as learning to use their imaginations and growing in knowledge.

Wholesome Content vs. Unwholesome Content

When I watch children, and when I have my own, I have very strict guidelines as to what will be viewed in my home. This is largely due to my wanting to live my life in line with the Scriptures as best as possible, as they dictate how I handle myself and how I deal with children. Because I myself do not want to watch profane and violent material—just because I’m an adult does not mean that I will watch adult content, as I feel it is degrading and useless—any child in my home will not watch it also. If they are allowed to do it at home, then that is fair; but in my home, it will not happen. Of course, I have discussions with the parents what I will and will not allow to go on in my home, and then the parents can make an informed decision as to whether or not they want their children to stay with me. However, my friends pretty much all believe the same thing with some differences, and we find some sort of compromise if the differences are not too huge. Here is one example.

There are some cartoons that I will not allow my children to watch, but one of my friends sees no problem letting her child watch them. These are the cartoons that have magic in them. I would not allow my own children to watch them because they are not in line with the Bible—the way I want to raise my children. However, I respect that my friend is doing things slightly differently. We came to an agreement that if her child feels the need to watch those cartoons, she can go into my room and shut the door and watch them and bring along whomever else is allowed by their parents to watch; however, my children would have something different to do or watch, so they’d not feel left out. I felt that this was a reasonable compromise.

In order to know if a show is objectionable or not, I will watch it by myself first before allowing the children to watch it. I can also look up things on the net to see if other parents view the material to be problematic. Watching it first is always best, as I can see if it is against my standards.

Also, when it comes to profane content, I could block it on my TV, so the children will not feel the need to sneak and watch them and scratch their curious itch, so to speak. I will admit that when I was a child, I did sneak and watch porn because we could get HBO and Show Time. My friends, my brother, and I would do it late at night after my parents went to bed. To prevent that from going on in my house, I will block anything that I feel is not in line with the Scriptures—even talk show trash on regular TV. I even block things now, though, I have no children because I do not want to even ACCIDENTLY see that filth myself.

If a child has a question about something objectionable, I have no qualms about sitting down and talking to them openly about it. I personally do not feel that it is right to deny them an explanation if they want to know. Sure, the topic may be uncomfortable at best, but they asked the questions and have a right to know. If they want to know about babies and where they came from, I’ll tell the truth. If they want to know why they cannot watch a certain program, I tell them the truth, even if it is touchy. Of course, when it comes to other’s children, I’m going to ask the parents how open I could be with them before having a discussion, as some parents want to teach certain values. In cases that parents are not cool with me being open, I’ll just give a concrete explanation and tell them to talk to their parents for the rest. But with my own children, I’m going to be open all the way. My feeling is that if you hide everything from them, they will want to explore it all the more and find other ways to do it, too.

As far as internet goes, I have had many a children on my accounts with screen names. AOL has parental controls, as well as age appropriate screen name settings. For instance, there is Kids only, for children under twelve, which is very restrictive, and you could opt to have a daily report of your child’s activity mailed to you. Then, there is the young teen, where you can still keep tabs on your children via reporting and restrict access to content you do not want them to see; and then, there is the mature teen, which gives them access to pretty much everything with a few exceptions. Of course, that will be up to you what you determine to do with your child’s internet access.

Windows Vista, and even Windows 7, has features that will allow you to set up individual accounts for your children that can be set to allow or deny access to whatever is set, as Windows operating systems, Vista and forward, have built in parental controls. When I have children, I see no problem in allowing them each to have their own laptops, since I’m a self taught computer technician and see the value in technology, but until they can show that they will exercise restraint in visiting objectionable sites, I will have an account created that only they can access, and the administrator account will be blocked, so they cannot access it and change the settings. But, if they turn out anything like me and can figure out how to crack through things, then that is another issue for another day. Of course, they could always lose privileges to the laptop if they do not use it correctly. And the same would go for the TV as well. If I catch them watching an objectionable program, because they figured out how to get around the block, then they lose privileges to the TV for a week or two. These are natural and logical consequences that I’d enforce during these times.

This is how I’d handle matters.
post #29 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deer Hunter View Post
As far as limiting TV goes, I’m not one for limiting activities for children, as it was not done to me growing up. One good thing about my parents is that they always let me regulate what I wanted to do and be a free spirit, finding contentment in the things I enjoyed. I was not one to watch TV much, as I could go months without watching. I was more of a book worm. Rather than trying to get me to do other things because my parents felt I was doing too much reading and nothing else, they would just engage in it with me and buy whatever books I wanted. To this day, I’m still a book worm, and I seldom watch TV, accept if there is going to be something on that is worth watching. I'm a fan of allowing the children to do what they feel is fun to them and allowing them to spend as much time as they'd like doing it, as that is what my parents did to me.

I won’t have to worry about children spending too much time in front of the TV, as I will plan activities that will provide some form of education to them, yet will be a whole lot of fun. For instance, we will go to the library at toddler age so they can pick out picture books of their choosing to help cultivate the love of reading in them. We will also read together at bedtime. I believe in doing this from infancy, as young as a newborn, as it will make the children smarter. I will also engage them in interesting conversation about different things, and we will go on fun outings to expose them to new things. Such as if I were to teach them about Native American culture, I’d take them to a place they can experience it physically to make everything real to them. So, too much TV will not be a problem because we will always be doing other things together, and I can rest assured that they are getting exposure to many new and different things, as well as learning to use their imaginations and growing in knowledge.

Wholesome Content vs. Unwholesome Content

When I watch children, and when I have my own, I have very strict guidelines as to what will be viewed in my home. This is largely due to my wanting to live my life in line with the Scriptures as best as possible, as they dictate how I handle myself and how I deal with children. Because I myself do not want to watch profane and violent material—just because I’m an adult does not mean that I will watch adult content, as I feel it is degrading and useless—any child in my home will not watch it also. If they are allowed to do it at home, then that is fair; but in my home, it will not happen. Of course, I have discussions with the parents what I will and will not allow to go on in my home, and then the parents can make an informed decision as to whether or not they want their children to stay with me. However, my friends pretty much all believe the same thing with some differences, and we find some sort of compromise if the differences are not too huge. Here is one example.

There are some cartoons that I will not allow my children to watch, but one of my friends sees no problem letting her child watch them. These are the cartoons that have magic in them. I would not allow my own children to watch them because they are not in line with the Bible—the way I want to raise my children. However, I respect that my friend is doing things slightly differently. We came to an agreement that if her child feels the need to watch those cartoons, she can go into my room and shut the door and watch them and bring along whomever else is allowed by their parents to watch; however, my children would have something different to do or watch, so they’d not feel left out. I felt that this was a reasonable compromise.

In order to know if a show is objectionable or not, I will watch it by myself first before allowing the children to watch it. I can also look up things on the net to see if other parents view the material to be problematic. Watching it first is always best, as I can see if it is against my standards.

Also, when it comes to profane content, I could block it on my TV, so the children will not feel the need to sneak and watch them and scratch their curious itch, so to speak. I will admit that when I was a child, I did sneak and watch porn because we could get HBO and Show Time. My friends, my brother, and I would do it late at night after my parents went to bed. To prevent that from going on in my house, I will block anything that I feel is not in line with the Scriptures—even talk show trash on regular TV. I even block things now, though, I have no children because I do not want to even ACCIDENTLY see that filth myself.

If a child has a question about something objectionable, I have no qualms about sitting down and talking to them openly about it. I personally do not feel that it is right to deny them an explanation if they want to know. Sure, the topic may be uncomfortable at best, but they asked the questions and have a right to know. If they want to know about babies and where they came from, I’ll tell the truth. If they want to know why they cannot watch a certain program, I tell them the truth, even if it is touchy. Of course, when it comes to other’s children, I’m going to ask the parents how open I could be with them before having a discussion, as some parents want to teach certain values. In cases that parents are not cool with me being open, I’ll just give a concrete explanation and tell them to talk to their parents for the rest. But with my own children, I’m going to be open all the way. My feeling is that if you hide everything from them, they will want to explore it all the more and find other ways to do it, too.
But you ARE limiting their TV. You make that very clear in your entire post. Here, hold on, while I bold a bit... Ok, see?

Also you are assuming your child will enjoy reading, as you do. And your idea is to push the reading pretty firmly. I'll underline these lines... see that? That's NOT giving them the freedom to "be a free spirit, finding contentment in the things they enjoy".

And as a present mother of four actual children, ages nearly 12 down to 9.5 months. I can assure you they all come out differently, despite your best laid plans. I have a book worm. And I have one who hates to read. And none of them can self-regulate television at all. Especially the pre-schooler. We don't even have the tele hooked up to anything, it's just for movies, both educational and entertaining. We get out a lot. We are active people. We even live on a homestead. My kids have many varied interests, and are always busy with something. Yet, if allowed, they will melt into puddles in front of the tube.

I think you're going to be a bit startled when you have children.
post #30 of 30
I grew up in a house with a TV thanks to my dad (my mom absolutely hates TV with a passion). We were allowed to watch cartoons on Saturday morning, but other than that didn't watch much TV during the week (of course, we only got two channels - CBS & NBC, so it wasn't like there was much on!!). We lived for saturday morning cartoons. LIVED for them. But they just weren't available otherwise, so we were just fine.

We got a computer when I was 9 or 10 and the internet about a year later, and were always allowed free reign, w/o mom & dad looking over our shoulders. We learned SO MUCH about computers because we weren't restricted - I don't know how many hours I spent on the phone with gateway 2000's tech support - getting passed up the line from the idiot who hasn't a clue, to the guy who knows all about computers and just keeps trying stuff 'do this. whats it say? ok, try this... try that,' till we/he finally figured it out. And then they'd send us a new sound card or video card or motherboard or cd-drive, or whatever it was that was broken and we'd call them back up and they'd walk us through installing it. I learned to type by playing MUDS (the precursors to todays MMORPGs, all text), taught myself HTML to build websites FOR MUDs, and screwed up more linux & windows installations trying to get linux installed and working than I'd care to admit, all with the goal of learning to 'code' MUDs. I learned a little C along the way, but have never quite got it down. Programming computers is something I'd still love to learn. But, I now run Ubuntu linux exclusively and have for the past 3 years, and can't imagine ever going back to dealing with all the spam, malware, spyware & virus' of windows (or even mac).

And yeah, I did some stupid things online, and blessedly never got hurt, but then again, so do 95% of kids who get online. I downloaded MP3s off of napster, and computer games off of warez sites, and saw lots of nasty porn in the process. But really, you learn to ignore that and move on. Yes the web can be dangerous, but man, LIFES dangerous. My DS1's only 2.5 but I don't see me ever putting parental controls on his computer, or telling him he can only go to sites X, Y, and Z. IMO that would only serve to make him more likely to search out ways around it and not be honest with me. I'd rather he run into wierd/scary/dangerous stuff and tell me about it so we can chat than try and hide it and not talk about it, yk?

As for TV... well, we have one, and we have DISH network, and DS1 watches some TV. Mostly PBS & movies, but occasionally a bit of Nogin will slip in there too. I don't think TV is a great thing, but I also just don't think its the worst thing in the world. And if I *need* to get something done (say, dinner), then I might just flip it on and let him watch a little while I get whatever it is I need to get done and then we can go back to playing or go outside and go for a walk or whatever. I'm not going to sit him infront of the TV all day everyday, but I don't think its like THE ultimate evil thing, like some people (my mother for example).
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