I right now have a 7mo high needs little guy at home. He's currently sleeping on my My Brest Friend as we speak because I can only RARELY put him down alone for naps.
Prior to the arrival of DS, I was running a computer repair business by myself, working from home, going out on the field, bringing stuff back, remote work, etc. I did it for the money (though I never made as much as being a consultant, but I hated doing that, so...) and because I'm good at what I do. I never did it because i like it or I'm just in love with technology like some folks in the field that I meet. If hubby came home with a million dollars tomorrow, I'd close up shop immediately. What I really want to do is of a spiritual guidance slant, and having been in business a few years, I know that it will be far tougher to even attempt to make a living doing that in comparison to the computer repair.
Okay, so here comes DS. After a very difficult birth he winds up in the NICU for 9 days due to breathing issues. When he finally comes home, hubby has to go back to work, I'm on 2 hours of sleep a night because DS won't sleep without being in my arms (not even in the co-sleeper right next to me,) breastfeeding was a complete and utter disaster with a bad start, undiagnosed-for-two-months thrush, some days not eating for 8 hours, etc., many nights my husband is working 13 hour shifts so help from him is limited except on weekends, and friends/family are too far to help except occasionally. I mention this all because during this time, I'm still continuing to work. Someone that was supposed to help with phones and email never worked out, and I'm answering calls, doing remote work, taking in computers, etc. all while the above is going on. Until finally I snapped when I became so stressed out I was becoming depressed and falling apart. I told my clients that I needed time off and would contact them in the upcoming year once again. I refer them out to competitors, but they ultimately kept seeking me out (like I said, I'm good at what I do even if I can't stand it.)
Well a few months later, after hubby goes away for a few days to visit his dad (and leaves me alone with said high needs baby *grumble*) comes back refreshed to tell me I need to start working again because of the economy and our bills. After he recovered from being put through a brick wall (j/k, but I did verbally let him have it) we decided I would work on Saturdays, which I have been doing. By this point, DS is sleeping through the night, so that's one burden no longer on my shoulders.
So now that you have some back story, I'm at a point where I need to bring in more money but it's impossible during the week with DS. Calling clients is a joke and the only time they're sympathetic is if they have young children at home. Every time I get on the phone, DS starts freaking out, and if I take it in another room, then he freaks out even more. Trying to work on a computer remotely is another joke because he seems to sense when I'm working and immediately grouches unless I'm focusing 100% of my attention on him. And he won't do this as quickly if I'm doing anything else, only if I'm doing business work. It's like he's an angel sent to keep me from working at the business I never really cared for in the first place LOL! But seriously...
I thought about hiring someone (and can figure out how to fiscally do so without bankrupting the business) but that's more time I need to spend training someone, being available for phone calls from the field, going out on the field with DS with the new hire to show them the ropes, doing extra paperwork, etc.
And I'm personally just feeling fried after/during all this. I can't bring myself to work on the business except doing the bare minimum, especially during the week, which in turn prevents me from getting the business to a point where it becomes an asset rather than a burden. Outside childcare isn't an option for multiple reasons I won't go into here.
I want to focus on the spiritual guidance slant, which is what I really feel compelled to do, like a calling of sorts (even if I wanted to stop doing it, I couldn't, one of those things.) My intent is to offer basic information through my website to the general public and offer subscription services for more complex teachings and guidance. Besides it not offering nearly as much by way of being able to support our bills like the computer repair thing, I have this huge fear that I'll just get burnt out on it just like I have every other job thing I've ever taken on. Then what do you do if you can't feel compelled to do anything else, you know? So I've held back on marketing it. I think the burnout is affecting my decisions in this though, like perhaps with a clear mind I could focus things better and not feel frozen by fears and technicalities.
So here's my question after giving this long back story. Is this all because I'm trying to do this all while trying to take care of a high needs baby, often on my own (hubby works a LOT of overtime to try to take care of our bills) on top of taking care of everything else going on in the house? Has anyone tried to run a business (or two) while trying to take care of a baby that can't even crawl yet? Is my burnt-out reaction par for the course considering what I went through and what I'm trying to do? The only time I get to myself during the day is between 11:30 and 1 in the morning when DS is finally in the co-sleeper, and then I'm back in there at least 3 times when he wakes and realizes I'm not next to him. Am I just expecting too much of myself or not requiring enough? Thoughts?
Prior to the arrival of DS, I was running a computer repair business by myself, working from home, going out on the field, bringing stuff back, remote work, etc. I did it for the money (though I never made as much as being a consultant, but I hated doing that, so...) and because I'm good at what I do. I never did it because i like it or I'm just in love with technology like some folks in the field that I meet. If hubby came home with a million dollars tomorrow, I'd close up shop immediately. What I really want to do is of a spiritual guidance slant, and having been in business a few years, I know that it will be far tougher to even attempt to make a living doing that in comparison to the computer repair.
Okay, so here comes DS. After a very difficult birth he winds up in the NICU for 9 days due to breathing issues. When he finally comes home, hubby has to go back to work, I'm on 2 hours of sleep a night because DS won't sleep without being in my arms (not even in the co-sleeper right next to me,) breastfeeding was a complete and utter disaster with a bad start, undiagnosed-for-two-months thrush, some days not eating for 8 hours, etc., many nights my husband is working 13 hour shifts so help from him is limited except on weekends, and friends/family are too far to help except occasionally. I mention this all because during this time, I'm still continuing to work. Someone that was supposed to help with phones and email never worked out, and I'm answering calls, doing remote work, taking in computers, etc. all while the above is going on. Until finally I snapped when I became so stressed out I was becoming depressed and falling apart. I told my clients that I needed time off and would contact them in the upcoming year once again. I refer them out to competitors, but they ultimately kept seeking me out (like I said, I'm good at what I do even if I can't stand it.)
Well a few months later, after hubby goes away for a few days to visit his dad (and leaves me alone with said high needs baby *grumble*) comes back refreshed to tell me I need to start working again because of the economy and our bills. After he recovered from being put through a brick wall (j/k, but I did verbally let him have it) we decided I would work on Saturdays, which I have been doing. By this point, DS is sleeping through the night, so that's one burden no longer on my shoulders.
So now that you have some back story, I'm at a point where I need to bring in more money but it's impossible during the week with DS. Calling clients is a joke and the only time they're sympathetic is if they have young children at home. Every time I get on the phone, DS starts freaking out, and if I take it in another room, then he freaks out even more. Trying to work on a computer remotely is another joke because he seems to sense when I'm working and immediately grouches unless I'm focusing 100% of my attention on him. And he won't do this as quickly if I'm doing anything else, only if I'm doing business work. It's like he's an angel sent to keep me from working at the business I never really cared for in the first place LOL! But seriously...
I thought about hiring someone (and can figure out how to fiscally do so without bankrupting the business) but that's more time I need to spend training someone, being available for phone calls from the field, going out on the field with DS with the new hire to show them the ropes, doing extra paperwork, etc.
And I'm personally just feeling fried after/during all this. I can't bring myself to work on the business except doing the bare minimum, especially during the week, which in turn prevents me from getting the business to a point where it becomes an asset rather than a burden. Outside childcare isn't an option for multiple reasons I won't go into here.
I want to focus on the spiritual guidance slant, which is what I really feel compelled to do, like a calling of sorts (even if I wanted to stop doing it, I couldn't, one of those things.) My intent is to offer basic information through my website to the general public and offer subscription services for more complex teachings and guidance. Besides it not offering nearly as much by way of being able to support our bills like the computer repair thing, I have this huge fear that I'll just get burnt out on it just like I have every other job thing I've ever taken on. Then what do you do if you can't feel compelled to do anything else, you know? So I've held back on marketing it. I think the burnout is affecting my decisions in this though, like perhaps with a clear mind I could focus things better and not feel frozen by fears and technicalities.
So here's my question after giving this long back story. Is this all because I'm trying to do this all while trying to take care of a high needs baby, often on my own (hubby works a LOT of overtime to try to take care of our bills) on top of taking care of everything else going on in the house? Has anyone tried to run a business (or two) while trying to take care of a baby that can't even crawl yet? Is my burnt-out reaction par for the course considering what I went through and what I'm trying to do? The only time I get to myself during the day is between 11:30 and 1 in the morning when DS is finally in the co-sleeper, and then I'm back in there at least 3 times when he wakes and realizes I'm not next to him. Am I just expecting too much of myself or not requiring enough? Thoughts?
