I'm looking for opinions from every corner on this one, though I know the final answer is inside, it helps to hear other takes, ykim?
So I have always worked full time - my son went into a daycare when he was 4 mos old. While it wasn't ideal, it worked out really well as the dc was just a few blocks from work, I could nurse him at lunchtime and I didn't feel completely heartbroken with the whole situation. I am very happy with the center and they have become his home away from home with all his friends and he loves going.
A few months ago I changed jobs - I got a job working for the state, and while the actual work is incredibly boring and not as fulfilling as my last job, I make a couple more $/hr and the benefits are incredible ($143/month for comprehensive insurance for the whole family, plus great vacation/sick etc etc) When I was hired, it was for just 1 year, to supplement their staff during the legislative sesion and no guarantee of re-hire.
Then I got pregnant, and will be due 3 mos before the year is up. I had always figured with this economy my odds of not being brought back were slim anyway, now I figured they were nonexistent. So, while very nervous about our finances (which are very tight) I was somewhat excited that life seemed to be pushing me into trying out the SAHM role, as I did not want to go back to my old job, and I knew I wanted more time off with this baby - I just figured I would take an extended maternity leave and see if I really had to ever go back to work or if we could somehow eke out an existence. I was really just trusting fate to provide as logically I have no idea how this could work as my husband is in construction - when he is working he is making a lot of money, but with the economy work has slowed way down and he only worked a handful of weeks last winter, so this coming winter (baby is due in August) could be even worse. He did get a small inheritance though, that we can rely on to at least get us through the winter, but after that, the universe would have to come up with something big.
This leg. session has been VERY taxing with super super long hours (but great b/c I am building up a very large chunk of overtime for when baby comes) but the work is very un-inspiring and I feel very bleh about the job as far as doing it long term.
So last week, I got called in to my supervisor's office and told that they love the work I am doing and basically they aren't going to be able to ask anybody else back except me, that I am their 1st choice. I was rather flabbergasted as I have not, by my standards, been working very hard or putting much of myself into this job. But I am honored also and feel very lucky b/c it is a job many people would kill for just for the security and pay (not a ton by a lot of standards but $17/hr).
I told my supervisor all of my conflicts, about how in a perfect world I would be a SAHM but that my logical brain says that is not in the cards for me and how leaving the security of the state job does make me nervous. She understands (she is pregnant also). I told her I always at least planned to take the whole winter off before I looked for another job. She said she didn't know how much time they would give me before I would have to come back but that she had no problem "asking for the moon" and seeing what they would offer. so that is where it stands. If they come back and say I only get 1-4 months off, I am pretty sure I will decline, but if they come back with 6 months or something significant, I am having a lot of trouble deciding what to do.
Most important is that I want to do what's best for my family. While it is true that I have been working crazy long hours at this job, I have to remember that I hired on for session, which only comes every year and a half - my supervisor reminded me that all this overtime I have built up for spending with baby; the next time around would be time I can spend at home or on vacation - so there is a good amount of time off involved. Also there is the security, while we would not be rolling in money (esp with another child in daycare) we could live much closer to our standard quality of living and have excellent health coverage.
Then I just think children should be with their mommy - I feel so lucky that my son adores his daycare (almost feel guilty thinking of taking him out of it to stay home with me
), but what if this baby is less outgoing? Then again, would I make a good SAHM? My mom is really into astrology and tells me that my chart strongly indicates my need for a career and being out in the world, that my "easy route" is to stay home, but that is not where my growth will happen. So if you put much stock in that, there it is.
So I'm just interested in anybody's opinions - do I stay home and put us in the situation of potential poverty, or do I keep my babies in daycare in order to provide that financial security for them? Growing up in a home with many financial problems, I know that it isn't just money - the stress of not having money can have a lot of emotional impact on a family too, so that is in my mind also. Anyway, if anybody has anything to say I thank you in advance. I know its kinda boring to hear other people thinking out loud, and I feel very self centered posting this, but I really do appreciate any feedback.
So I have always worked full time - my son went into a daycare when he was 4 mos old. While it wasn't ideal, it worked out really well as the dc was just a few blocks from work, I could nurse him at lunchtime and I didn't feel completely heartbroken with the whole situation. I am very happy with the center and they have become his home away from home with all his friends and he loves going.
A few months ago I changed jobs - I got a job working for the state, and while the actual work is incredibly boring and not as fulfilling as my last job, I make a couple more $/hr and the benefits are incredible ($143/month for comprehensive insurance for the whole family, plus great vacation/sick etc etc) When I was hired, it was for just 1 year, to supplement their staff during the legislative sesion and no guarantee of re-hire.
Then I got pregnant, and will be due 3 mos before the year is up. I had always figured with this economy my odds of not being brought back were slim anyway, now I figured they were nonexistent. So, while very nervous about our finances (which are very tight) I was somewhat excited that life seemed to be pushing me into trying out the SAHM role, as I did not want to go back to my old job, and I knew I wanted more time off with this baby - I just figured I would take an extended maternity leave and see if I really had to ever go back to work or if we could somehow eke out an existence. I was really just trusting fate to provide as logically I have no idea how this could work as my husband is in construction - when he is working he is making a lot of money, but with the economy work has slowed way down and he only worked a handful of weeks last winter, so this coming winter (baby is due in August) could be even worse. He did get a small inheritance though, that we can rely on to at least get us through the winter, but after that, the universe would have to come up with something big.
This leg. session has been VERY taxing with super super long hours (but great b/c I am building up a very large chunk of overtime for when baby comes) but the work is very un-inspiring and I feel very bleh about the job as far as doing it long term.
So last week, I got called in to my supervisor's office and told that they love the work I am doing and basically they aren't going to be able to ask anybody else back except me, that I am their 1st choice. I was rather flabbergasted as I have not, by my standards, been working very hard or putting much of myself into this job. But I am honored also and feel very lucky b/c it is a job many people would kill for just for the security and pay (not a ton by a lot of standards but $17/hr).
I told my supervisor all of my conflicts, about how in a perfect world I would be a SAHM but that my logical brain says that is not in the cards for me and how leaving the security of the state job does make me nervous. She understands (she is pregnant also). I told her I always at least planned to take the whole winter off before I looked for another job. She said she didn't know how much time they would give me before I would have to come back but that she had no problem "asking for the moon" and seeing what they would offer. so that is where it stands. If they come back and say I only get 1-4 months off, I am pretty sure I will decline, but if they come back with 6 months or something significant, I am having a lot of trouble deciding what to do.
Most important is that I want to do what's best for my family. While it is true that I have been working crazy long hours at this job, I have to remember that I hired on for session, which only comes every year and a half - my supervisor reminded me that all this overtime I have built up for spending with baby; the next time around would be time I can spend at home or on vacation - so there is a good amount of time off involved. Also there is the security, while we would not be rolling in money (esp with another child in daycare) we could live much closer to our standard quality of living and have excellent health coverage.
Then I just think children should be with their mommy - I feel so lucky that my son adores his daycare (almost feel guilty thinking of taking him out of it to stay home with me
), but what if this baby is less outgoing? Then again, would I make a good SAHM? My mom is really into astrology and tells me that my chart strongly indicates my need for a career and being out in the world, that my "easy route" is to stay home, but that is not where my growth will happen. So if you put much stock in that, there it is.So I'm just interested in anybody's opinions - do I stay home and put us in the situation of potential poverty, or do I keep my babies in daycare in order to provide that financial security for them? Growing up in a home with many financial problems, I know that it isn't just money - the stress of not having money can have a lot of emotional impact on a family too, so that is in my mind also. Anyway, if anybody has anything to say I thank you in advance. I know its kinda boring to hear other people thinking out loud, and I feel very self centered posting this, but I really do appreciate any feedback.
: to you. I hope it all works out in the best possible way for you.
: Wow, thanks for all the responses! More helpful than I even imagined...in answer to some of your questions: I'm not sure on the flexibility of the schedule. I know WAH isn't an option b/c a lot of what I work on is confidential, as far as 4 10s....maybe? I know they used to work that schedule, but changed for what reason I don't know, so I'm not sure if its set in stone...but they aren't the most flexible bunch around here. I do know that I would request a long lunch so I would be able to go and nurse at lunchtime as I did with DS..that made such a big difference, and I liked being able to kind of drop in on the daycare unannounced - never hurts in my opinion 
