how do y'all do it?! challenges of babywearing, attachment parenting

[ommom]

hi all,

how do y'all do it?

i feel like i only ever hear of babywearing but hardly ever of the physical challenges (or impossibilities of it)!

i'm in pretty good shape (yoga instructor who practiced daily) and the babywearing & carrying (1st a sling, now baby bjorn & moby wrap, soon: ergo) has been killing me - the entire back, plus right hip joint. she's 4 mo., maybe 13 lbs., and only getting heavier.

lately for my health i stroller her when out & about & just sit her on my body/lap when seated somewhere. it'd be better if i could go swimming, practice yoga regularly, or get a massage but all 3 have been tough to come by:

my main access to childcare right now is at the Y where i can try to practice yoga, swim, etc. but she often gets real upset in the carseat en route + cries for 40-50 min's of an hour that i'm gone while in childwatch. this makes me NOT want to go & i'm considering giving notice to the one class i do teach which requires me to leave her there for an hour. i want her to feel secure & untraumatized but i also want to take care of myself. it is an ongoing experiment & balancing act.

curious 'bout others' stories...

[nigellas]

Well, the Bjorn is notoriously uncomfortable, so there's that. The pouch will be uncomfortable if it's too big and the Moby as well if tied too loosely. Hopefully the Ergo will be a hit for you.

[Rico'sAlice]

If the baby is that small and you don't have other pre-existing physical problems, then pain almost certainly means a poor fit. Make sure the baby is in there tight. Should feel like she becomes part of your body, she shouldn't be hanging off of you at all. Also, different carriers word better for different pairs. Do you know any other babywearers in real life who could help you? Or maybe post some pics of your DD in her carrier here and someone might beable to offer a suggestion.

[tinyblackdot]

Wow! Im 5ft 130 and my dd is 30lbs and we LOVE to BW!

Im guessing once you get your Ergo you will see the light. Those bjorns are horribly uncomfortable, and pouches are really hard to fit.

[Adasmommy]

What everyone else said--it definitely shouldn't be uncomfortable! Posting pictures would help us see what could be improved to be more comfortable. Like others said, a wrap or sling needs to be tight so that the baby is held right against you and doesn't sag away from you at all. The baby should also be high on your torso. If wearing a front carry, you should be able to kiss the top of baby's head easily.

Let us know if you work it out, or post pics so we can help more!

[Whistler]

I have back problems so I can't wear babies on my front for much time at all. It's not a matter of "fit". I simply cannot have any extra weight on my front. When I was pg I had to lie down much of the time.

So I wear babies on my back or sit and hold them. I just plan when Baby Bear comes to sit and hold her a huge percentage of the time for the first several months. I wish I could be really active but with my health conditions I can't.

So I AP as much as I can but I am also realistic and use strollers and such when I need to. I learned with DD that keeping Mommy in good health and spirits contributes to a healthy peaceful baby as much as any single AP practice.

[Pyrodjm]

I have back problems and I'm nowhere near fit, I have no pain babywearing. Ditch the Bjorn. I think it turns many people off to babywearing. As a pp mentioned lots of moms find it VERY uncomfortable.

I use rings slings, woven wraps and the Beco Butterfly. All have a bit of a learningcurve but I can adjust them to be comfy in under a minute, usually much less. I have worn DD (~20lbs) for a couple of hours without pain. Make sure your LO is positioned properly, this usually high and tight.

Check out the videos here for ring sling help. http://zolowear.com/Wearing.aspx

Posting pics here would also be helpful. We might be able to see a way for you to make the carriers more comfy.

[Quirky]

Def. get rid of the Bjorn asap. Concentrate on the Moby Wrap since that will distribute the weight across your back and shoulders and to your lower body to some extent. Make sure she's snug enough -- you should be able to bend your neck and kiss the top of her head. If she's too low and too loose it will not be ergonomic.

I hope you can find some relief! Babywearing shouldn't hurt. I would look into chiropractic care perhaps to see if you can help relieve some of the pain you've been suffering.

[alexsam]

Everyone else has addressed the baby carrier stuff, but I just want to address some of your post that is not about carriers (except I do want to say that in addition to the Moby having the right tension, the "straps" should also be as wide as possible, spreading out the fabric... If they get bunchy and rope-y, it gets uncomfortable. They should be "flat" and wide).

Sometimes, for some people, strollers work better. Most people who babywear also have a stroller of some kind for certain outings, and as babies get older and get bigger and want to be "in-and-out" sometimes the carriers yeild to a stroller. So, strollers are not evil, they are just not the only way and a properly fitting baby carrier can be really great for making happy babies while giving parents 2 hands, a bit more freedom, and everyone a chance to be close which is important and lacking in a stroller. I guess I see a stroller as one tool, one that has its place and functions.

Speaking of strollers and exercize... I don't know if you have a Strollerfit group near you, but it is great for keeping healthy and moving while being WITH your baby (not affiliated- I just go and like it). Baby in a stroller, moms exercize with the baby. In good weather we are outside, we meet other moms and babies, the classes are fun for both of us, the workouts make you sweat but are not overwhelming and I've lost 30 lbs . No crying babies in gym nurseries!

[ommom]

hi all,

wow - thank y'all for your responses. sounds like it's time to ditch the baby bjorn. i hope the ergo or maybe a beco butterfly will solve the issue. the sling favored one shoulder so that felt disbalanced. the moby wrap is definitely the best thus far and i do wear her correctly - snug and high as y'all described. i think i may be like whistler - it just taxes my back. i have congenital hip dysplasia so i think that's what's up w/the hip. i'll do what i can and keep experimenting and use the stroller as needed. thanks for the encouragement.