guilty....

[babybirkel]

My son is almost 4 months old. I am usually better about reading up and doing my homework but I confess that this was one area that I just assumed was okay because it was so routinely done. I had him circumcised. I feel guilty every time I change his diaper or give him a bath. I feel horrible that I caused him pain because I was ignorant. My husband and I have agreed that if we have other sons in the future that we will not circ. I still just feel horrible.

I don't really know what I am trying to say. I just feel guilty and I wish I could go back in time and not have it done.

[yarngoddess]

I know that pain I'm so sorry for your guilt. However "When you know better, you do better" Don't let the guilt eat you alive. It only makes you feel worse. Hang in there and give yourself a break. I have a circed son, and an intact one. There is another thread here about having circed and regretting it somewhere in the no-circ forum.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

It is in the resources sticky. You are not alone mama

[ChickFamily]

Hello and I know exactly what you are going through however my oldest is 5. MY youngest is 7 months and is intact but the oldest is not and I regret that sooo much especiallly after actually learning so much about why NOT to.((hugs)) to you

[perspective]

Originally Posted by babybirkel

My son is almost 4 months old. I am usually better about reading up and doing my homework but I confess that this was one area that I just assumed was okay because it was so routinely done. I had him circumcised. I feel guilty every time I change his diaper or give him a bath. I feel horrible that I caused him pain because I was ignorant. My husband and I have agreed that if we have other sons in the future that we will not circ. I still just feel horrible.

I don't really know what I am trying to say. I just feel guilty and I wish I could go back in time and not have it done.

What made you change your mind? What event/piece of information make you realize that infant circumcision is bad?

[charleysmama23]

Originally Posted by perspective

What made you change your mind? What event/piece of information make you realize that infant circumcision is bad?

Interested to hear your response to this, I myself am just coming around the not circ'ing. I am so thankful my first and only was a girl. We are expecting again and dh is very open to not circ'ing so I'm anxious to hear what changed your and your dh's minds. We're reading the literature right now.

[babybirkel]

Originally Posted by perspective

What made you change your mind? What event/piece of information make you realize that infant circumcision is bad?

Because I saw it done. I was there when it happened. I'll spare you the details, but let's just say it was very traumatic to both me and him. He just cried and cried and I knew it was hurting him. I sat there and cried and didn't know what to do. I don't know if I could have told them to stop halfway through or what. I wanted to. It took 15 minutes to actually do the cutting and then 15 more of him strapped down in this thing to make sure the bleeding stopped. He just screamed and screamed. To this day I think he associates being confined with that pain, as he hates his car seat, hates being swaddled, etc.

Don't do that to your little boy. They are perfect as is.

[prothyraia]

:

My husband was circed. He loves his parents, forgives them, knows they were just doing what they assumed was best at the time, and is currently working on restoration.

When you know better, you do better.

[Marnica]

Originally Posted by charleysmama23

Interested to hear your response to this, I myself am just coming around the not circ'ing. I am so thankful my first and only was a girl. We are expecting again and dh is very open to not circ'ing so I'm anxious to hear what changed your and your dh's minds. We're reading the literature right now.

Reading literature is great...I read tons too, but it wasn't until i saw a video of it being done that I went home and told my DH this would happen over my dead body....thankfully he had no issues with not doing it. Look at the video....force yourself not to look away. There are several on here. Look at them all. The images will be burned into your brain forever and if you can circ after seeing this being done...then I dunno that would be amazing to me!

http://www.circumcisionquotes.com/video.html

[LavenderMae]

I just want to give you a because that kind of regret/guilt just hurts so much. I hope in time you will forgive yourself and be as gentle with youself as you would be with a close friend going through the same thing.

[Ron_Low]

I think the person who is guilty is exemplified by the obstetrician I spoke to today at the ACOG (American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists) convention: "I know it's not medically needed, and I HATE doing them, but what can you do?"

You can SAY NO and explain why, silly. About 10% of OB/GYNs say no. I learned today the University of Michigan has removed circumcision from the OB/GYN curriculum, citing that it has nothing to with the patient (the mother), and detracts from the essential OB/GYN education.

The most common surgical procedure in the US is most commonly (about 70% of the time) done by someone who is not the victim's doctor. Doesn't that sound like something much worse than malpractice? It descends to the level of simple assault. "Hello, I know you have not been diagnosed with anything, but I'm going to amputate part of your body even though I'm not your doctor."

[robertandenith]

aw mama!!! (((hugs))) I am so sorry, and you witnessed everything You are not alone, please stick around and probably your experience will help other moms to make an informed decision.

[tlh]

Originally Posted by Ron_Low

I think the person who is guilty is exemplified by the obstetrician I spoke to today at the ACOG (American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists) convention: "I know it's not medically needed, and I HATE doing them, but what can you do?"

You can SAY NO and explain why, silly. About 10% of OB/GYNs say no. I learned today the University of Michigan has removed circumcision from the OB/GYN curriculum, citing that it has nothing to with the patient (the mother), and detracts from the essential OB/GYN education.

The most common surgical procedure in the US is most commonly (about 70% of the time) done by someone who is not the victim's doctor. Doesn't that sound like something much worse than malpractice? It descends to the level of simple assault. "Hello, I know you have not been diagnosed with anything, but I'm going to amputate part of your body even though I'm not your doctor."

From The University of Michigan website



What is the purpose of the foreskin?
The foreskin on the penis is not some cosmic error. The foreskin has a purpose.

•It protects the glans (top of the penis) against urine, feces, and other types of irritation.
•It protects against infection or scarring of the urinary opening (although this is rare).
•It protects the sensitivity of the glans.


http://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/wha/wha_circumci_hhg.htm

[Pumpkinheadmommy]

to you OP.

I wish parents were required to attend. At least you now know what he went through and you were there to provide him at least some measure of comfort. I just don't understand parents who sit cozily in their rooms, or in the lobby, and hand their precious, perfect babies off to someone else.

[Pumpkinheadmommy]

Originally Posted by tlh

From The University of Michigan website



What is the purpose of the foreskin?
The foreskin on the penis is not some cosmic error. The foreskin has a purpose.

•It protects the glans (top of the penis) against urine, feces, and other types of irritation.
•It protects against infection or scarring of the urinary opening (although this is rare).
•It protects the sensitivity of the glans.


http://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/wha/wha_circumci_hhg.htm

I'm suddenly a U. of Michigan fan. Anyone know their mascot? I'll be rooting for them next football and basketball seasons.

[lawmama1984]

The Wolverines! Go Blue! LOL!

[KBecks]

Many men in the US have survived circ and gone on to live happy lives. Circ is very wrong, but your son can still have a great life. Try to look at the big picture.

I apologized to my two circed sons. I felt I owed it to them. I told them each around 3 years old, when I knew they would understand. Each asked why? And I told them that it's something that a lot of families do to their sons, but that it's wrong and we made a mistake and I'm sorry, and we'll never do that again if we have any more babies.

I think the boys are fine, I am mostly OK, I worry about them, but there's little I can do now except try to help others avoid the mistake of circ.

[AnalogWife]

Thank you for your courage to address this situation...it might be time to spread your knowledge.

[fruitful womb]

Originally Posted by Ron_Low

I think the person who is guilty is exemplified by the obstetrician I spoke to today at the ACOG (American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists) convention: "I know it's not medically needed, and I HATE doing them, but what can you do?"

You can SAY NO and explain why, silly. About 10% of OB/GYNs say no. I learned today the University of Michigan has removed circumcision from the OB/GYN curriculum, citing that it has nothing to with the patient (the mother), and detracts from the essential OB/GYN education.

The most common surgical procedure in the US is most commonly (about 70% of the time) done by someone who is not the victim's doctor. Doesn't that sound like something much worse than malpractice? It descends to the level of simple assault. "Hello, I know you have not been diagnosed with anything, but I'm going to amputate part of your body even though I'm not your doctor."

I agree with this. Its horrifyingly true.

Reminds me of the Nacirema people, remember them?

[Treece]

mama. I also wish all parents had to watch a circ before allowing it to happen to their children. I applaud you for being there for your son. You are a good mama.