Why not tie allowance to chores? - Page 3

[MommyMichele]

Originally Posted by Chicky2

My ? would be WHY would anyone have children in the house who do not share in the responsibilities/chores? We think that would be irresponsible parenting. Our children start helping out around age 2.

In my case, it's probably because I didn't have a plan for it, didn't even think of it ahead of time. I didn't have a regular chore myself until I was almost a teen when my sister and I were arguing over who would do the dishes and my mom said she'd just pay me to do them all the time (my sister was an older teen then).

I'm trying to figure out how to establish routines now.

I don't think I'm irresponsible. Just live differently. My kids do help. They just don't have a schedule to tell them when to help.

[Chicky2]

While I certainly do not mean to offend, those are truly my thoughts and the thoughts of my dh, even though he did not have set chores/responsibilites as a child. He grew up not knowing how to do alot of stuff so he knew that his children would/should learn the things he did not at an early age. For me, it was just the way it was. My sister and I had assigned chores from as young as I can remember. So, even though my dh and I have WAY different backgrounds, we both knew that it was the right thing to do to teach our children how to do things for themselves. To us, it's just common sense.

I never said that kids have to have a *schedule* for chores. Mine do, but that's us. If your kids are helping, then no, that's not irresponsible, and I'm quite sure they are getting the message that they need to help out because they live in your home too. My ? was why would someone have children who do not share in the responsiblities/chores, not whether or not those responsibilities should necessarily be scheduled.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by Chicky2

My ? would be WHY would anyone have children in the house who do not share in the responsibilities/chores? We think that would be irresponsible parenting. Our children start helping out around age 2.

Well, ds1 didn't have chores until he was almost 10. The reason was simple. Our life was insanely harried (WOH and gone about 10-11 hours/day, husband who helped with nothing, no car or driver's license, so all shopping was done on foot...usually after work, etc.), and I was going full out most of the time. Getting him to do things, and teaching him how to do them, took longer than doing them myself...and I simply didn't have the time. He was expected to help out with anything I asked him to do (for example, he almost always ended up carrying at least a small bag home from the store), but he had nothing resembling regular responsibilities or chores.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by Chicky2

My ? was why would someone have children who do not share in the responsiblities/chores, not whether or not those responsibilities should necessarily be scheduled.

From the people I know who do things this way, they seem to think that it's unfair to children to expect them to work, and that it destroys their childhoods. I actually heard chores referred to as "child labour" once...

[lach]

Originally Posted by Chicky2

My ? would be WHY would anyone have children in the house who do not share in the responsibilities/chores? We think that would be irresponsible parenting. Our children start helping out around age 2.

My sister and I never had chores growing up. I'm not really sure why. I think that my parents had very rough childhoods and wanted us to just be kids. It's not like we didn't do anything: I remember setting the table, and of course we were supposed to clean up our toys when we were done with them, but I don't remember ever thinking of them as chores.

Of course, then I got to college and had no idea how to do laundry. So there are some definite downsides to this approach.

[p1gg1e]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

From the people I know who do things this way, they seem to think that it's unfair to children to expect them to work, and that it destroys their childhoods. I actually heard chores referred to as "child labour" once...

I guess it depends on how its approached. I see it as skills for life. Like a PP said learning how to do laundry and how if you don't wash your cloths...you don't have any clean ones..they don't magically appear..that life. It different if your trying to make them do your work..like pay your bills or put on a new roof

[Ironica]

Originally Posted by carouselrider

One interesting idea I heard recently that I'm kicking around is taxing allowance. Taking a certain % out and putting it in a family fund, and the kids get a vote on how to use the fund.

That sounds like a neat idea. Maybe we'll implement that when our kids are older.

Of course, it only really "works" if the % comes out of our allowances too! But I think I could be down with that.

[FondestBianca]

Originally Posted by sanguine_speed

My kids have never received cash from friends nor family ever.

which is why I went on to mention that if kids want money and dont recieve it as gifts they can look beyond household chores to aquire it.

[Chicky2]

Originally Posted by p1gg1e

I guess it depends on how its approached. I see it as skills for life. Like a PP said learning how to do laundry and how if you don't wash your cloths...you don't have any clean ones..they don't magically appear..that life. It different if your trying to make them do your work..like pay your bills or put on a new roof

Sorry, don't know how to do the multiple quote thing...

We also view this as life skills. We consider it part of our homeschooling life, too. We feel it is our duty to our children (and their future families!) to teach our children how to do all kinds of things. My children do their tasks with a willing heart. *They* don't feel that it would be fair for me or their dad to do everything because we all live here. They often volunteer to do extra tasks, and not for pay. However, when we see that they've been especially helpful or working harder than normal (say, weeding the garden or helping with butchering (alot of tasks there!), etc), then we often give them some cash for their banks. But not always-they certainly do not expect it.

[Chicky2]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

Well, ds1 didn't have chores until he was almost 10. The reason was simple. Our life was insanely harried (WOH and gone about 10-11 hours/day, husband who helped with nothing, no car or driver's license, so all shopping was done on foot...usually after work, etc.), and I was going full out most of the time. Getting him to do things, and teaching him how to do them, took longer than doing them myself...and I simply didn't have the time. He was expected to help out with anything I asked him to do (for example, he almost always ended up carrying at least a small bag home from the store), but he had nothing resembling regular responsibilities or chores.

But you said he was expected to help out with anything you asked him to do, which is teaching him to be a helpful member of the family.

[oneKnight]

My little sister (13) has gotten to the point that she won't do anything around the house unless you pay her for it.

I was going to mow for them, because my dad's lawmnower broke and since I was visiting anyway I threw mine in the back of the truck. I asked my sister to pick up sticks in the back yard while I mowed the front yard. Her response was "how much?" and since I didn't pay her (hello I'm unemployed and was doing my dad a favor!) I had to pick up the sticks myself which made the job take longer. Yeah I volunteered to mow, but instead of playing online my sister could have helped.

That just really irritated me.

[Chicky2]

oneknight, that would irritate me too! How did you turn out so helpful when she did not? Good for you for setting a good example. I hope you planted a seed...

My kids are out right now helping their dad lay pvc in all the trenches he made (780 ft worth) for running water lines to our garden, livestock areas, and woods/camp area.

[oneKnight]

Originally Posted by Chicky2

oneknight, that would irritate me too! How did you turn out so helpful when she did not? Good for you for setting a good example. I hope you planted a seed...

I think I became more helpful after I lived on my own for a while.

I know what it's like to have code enforcement threatening to fine the bageeezas outta you when you're so frustrated because you can't get the darn lawnmower to start. I know what it's like to come home tired from work and immediately have to start working again on the dishes or chores. My little sister doesn't understand that yet.
I still think part of the problem is because she's the baby and because of the getting paid for every little thing problem - besides the fact that she just hasn't grown up yet.