My house is running me instead of me running my house...

[Kit-Cat]

Post deleted. Thanks to all that replied. I will take what you all said to heart.

[nixnux]

Chipper up! You'll figure it out.

When I was reading your post I could see the big cultural differences between the US and India but I'm not sure what nationality you are. We have a young girl living with us from Nepal (although different has some similarities to India) and she has explained that the son often continues to live with his family. The DIL is often expected to do alot of house work and the MIL is the ruler of the house. I'm not trying to be insensitive about your environment but trying to encourage and give you perspective. Most of us only have to run our houses the way we want or can when we have little children. You, on the other hand, have extra pressure coming from your MIL and husband. You are expected to live up to a certain cultural environment that doesn't sound as familiar to you. Is your SIL that your being compared to Indian? This environment would be very familiar to her and she would be brought up to know how to manage her responsibilities and what her place is. Please don't be to hard on yourself and please don't compare yourself to other people in regards to this. Also, there is a big difference between managing a house with a two year verses a 10 month old. Keep doing the best you can and take courage in the fact that your are trying your hardest. You are doing a good job Momma!!

[Kit-Cat]

Post deleted.

[hillymum]

Keeping in mind the culture, I still think your MIL needs to help you. My understanding of the indian culture and family dynamics is that all generations participate in the running of the house, even though the matriarch is head of the house hold, she still has a large role in the running of the house, either feeding the family or childcare. As usual the husband needs to step in and talk with his mom and get her to help a lot more. Yiour dealing with such a lot, cultural differences, living differently to what your used to as well as being a mother. Not easy!

[newbymom05]

That sounds like a horrible situation! First of all, I have to say that I think a 10 mo old is much, much harder than the most active 2 yr old, esp if that 10 mo old needs you to sleep/be happy, which it sounds like yours does. So give yourself a break on that! Maybe for your house try Flylady? Maybe if you gave yourself some routines you could put yourself on auto-pilot, y/k?

Re: feeding your baby fresh food, of course that's ideal, but if you think freezing will work better for you, do it! If MIL or DH complain, tell them THEY can prepare the fresh food, you're off to clean xyz, unless of course they'd prefer to clean.

You must eat! Can you find a granola bar you like? Maybe spread almond butter on it for extra calcium? Snack on almonds, nuts, seeds? For calcium I take a liquid supplement, BlueBonnet, prolly not available there, but it's a dairy free liquid and the bottle says it can be added to baked goods. Work your eating into part of your routine, maybe b'fast/dinner for sure when both DH and MIL are there to help you w/ your DD.

RE: ants, here they sell little square plastic traps that work well, maybe you can find them there? The odorless poison is inside so it can't easily poison a LO.

Good luck, your post makes you sound like a very patient, loving person--I think I would go crazy in your sitch! Go easy on yourself, it sounds like you're doing a great job as a wife, mom and daughter in law.

[SleeplessMommy]

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