Water Issue...ANGRY....need advice

[mama_kass]

I'm having a bit of an issue. Here is the body of the letter I wrote to my son's school. This will let you in on what is happening. I wrote this after he got in trouble for disrupting the class by drinking water......

Yesterday I sent Paxton to school with bottled water. He has been experiencing thirst at school and coming home with headaches. On Monday his headache was so bad that he vomited his dinner and went straight to bed. I can only attribute these headaches to dehydration.
He has been complaining to me about being very thirsty at school and having little opportunity for drinking breaks. Paxton arrives at school at eight o’clock and does not get home from the after school program until six. He says that he gets to drink only at breakfast, lunch and snack. He told me that after recess and P.E. he is only aloud to drink to the count of three or five. I’m concerned that he is not getting enough water.
I apologize if he disrupted your class by drinking his bottled water. I instructed Paxton to please drink his bottled water whenever he was thirsty. Hopefully you can make accommodations for him to increase his fluids regularly during school hours.


The responce I recieved was if I want my son to drink water in class I need to take him to the doctor and get a note. They said that if he can bring in water everyone will want to and they can not have that type of disruption.

I am so ANGRY! Every child should be allowed free access to water! Dehydration is very serious. In fact it can cause death quickly in children. It's just inhumane to refuse children water upon request!

I want to do something about this. What would your next step be?

[captain optimism]

Contact the principal's office next. Also, leave a phone call for the teacher. Let him or her know that you are willing to work with concerns about not disrupting class. (I can't imagine what is disruptive about drinking water--is there no time for the poor children to use the bathroom? Ridiculous!)

Oh, when you speak with the principal, make sure to talk about Maslow's hierarchy of needs. You know, tell them that your child has to be healthy and not thirsty in order to learn.

[saturnine25]

It makes me FURIOUS to hear how the school has responded to this issue!! It's not as if he's sitting there drinking juice or soda- it's WATER, for crying out loud! Anyway, one of the comments in your post caught my attention. Your son is probably fine, but the extreme thirst and afterward, headache and vomiting can be early warning signs of diabetes. My husband was diagnosed as a Type 1 diabetic when he was 10- after experiencing similar symptoms. So, if you haven't already, you might want to have him screened just to be on the safe side.

[chellemarie]

I seriously thought my grade school headaches were caused by afternoon Math. I know now I was super thirsty.

I'm also bothered the school doesn't encourage more hand-washing. Grr.

Anyway, I would also contact the principal. I think having bottled water in class would disrupt the class much less than asking to go to the fountain. (Which I always did when I was restless and wanted to mess around.)

Oh, and keep sending the water to school with your son if it seems to be preventing his headaches.

[anothermama]

I'm gonna play devils advocate here....

Having been a teachers aide in a 1st grade class before, I see where they are coming from. The nature of the beast is that if your son is allowed to bust out his water whenever he wants, ALLLLLL the kids will want to, some will feel left out because they can't...etc etc etc. I personally don't think it's ok for a kid to get special treatment like that...being able to drink in class whenever he wants if no one else can. If a parent wants special treatment for their child, they should have to offer some sort of proof it's needed, and not just because they want it.

Also, kids a super resiliant. I have never worked with a kid who got dehydrated like your son seems too. In thinking back to my school days as well as my days as an aide, I really don't think that water at recess and lunch only is that unreasonable unless it's excessively hot at the time.

That said.....your sons health is worrysome. I personally am not a huge fan of running to the doctor for every little thing and it's always been a struggle for me with my daughters day care to get them to understand that....we just DONT run to get doctors notes for everything they want.

I know youre angry, however I think that you need to take the bigger picture into consideration. They probably have a million and a half pissy parents at their throats wanting special treatment for THEIR child every day (not saying this is you...just saying that they may percieve this to be the situation). If it were me, I'd go in with the facts, and be firm, but also try to be non confrontational. Clearly, your son is having an issue with this and the school SHOULD work with you, because as another poster said...your child needs to be healthy to learn. Maybe you can offer an olive branch ("Hey, we're willing to make sure he's well hydrated before school if you'll let him take as many fountain breaks as he needs to".). Work with the teacher....I can see him/her not wanting to disrupt their class, and I can also see them not wanting it to be a habit just to get out of class...maybe offer to re-evaluate the situation in a certain ammount of time if the situation doesn't improve or becomes disruptive.

Also, work with your son to make sure he takes the time to drink enough before school and at school. I wonder how much of the effects of dehydration he shows at school or not and if it's a lot, why aren't his teachers recognizing it??

just some thoughts...

[MelMel]

why do you need a doctors excuse to tell the teacher that humans need water to survive?

why is it 'disrupting' for children to be hydrated...it is a basic need, not a luxury....nor is it 'special treatment'

[chellemarie]

DITTO CK'smama. My teachers always had a cup of water or coffee at their desks. And I would be dyyyyyyyyyyying of thirst and sucking down the water after recess and hear, "That's enough. There are others in line and we have things to do."

But I was still thirsty.

[AmandasMom]

The nature of the beast is that if your son is allowed to bust out his water whenever he wants, ALLLLLL the kids will want to, some will feel left out because they can't...etc etc etc. I personally don't think it's ok for a kid to get special treatment like that...being able to drink in class whenever he wants if no one else can. If a parent wants special treatment for their child, they should have to offer some sort of proof it's needed, and not just because they want it.

Um... since when is allowing someone to have a drink of water "special treatment". are public schools this screwed up that they actually see someone drinking water as disruptive? how sad and pathetic!

[lab]

My kids are in public school and I am the product of the public school system.

While I'm sure most teachers have a much different opinion of classroom activity than parents do, my opinion is the one that counts, not theirs. I realize that this my sound harsh but we are talking about my child - not a kid or a class of kids.

My childrens school allows all children to keep a bottle of water on their desk. Period. The kindergarten kids don't really have desks so they all have water fountains in the classroom and are able to get water at will without asking

The problem is that your child's teacher is just exercising muscle. That infuriates me. If all the children had a bottle of water on the desks, it would be no big deal and the class and teacher would get used to it.

[lab]

Oh! I also meant to say, I would go to the principal.

If the principal gave me trouble I would go higher.

My kid would have water on his desk tomorrow, I would take him to school and have a little talk with his teacher in the morning.

I KNOW! Drop by the store and buy a case of water and bring one for everyone so that it's fair

Don't you all feel sorry for my kid's teachers!

[Pynki]

That's odd..

Mercury's school list stated a bottle of water for drinking during class..

I agree with you.. Dehydration can cause or exaccerbate migraine headaches, which can (and does to me) make you wanna throw your supper up..

Some people are dumb..I'd ask the teacher how much they drink through out the day, and why a CHILD'S needs would be any different..

I think this is another case of "kids aren't really people yet" attitude..

Warm Squishy Feelings..

Dyan

[manitoba_mommy]

To be honest I am a home schooler so take this with a grain of salt...

Special treatment? It is special treatment for a kid to have water? Of course all the kids are going to want some! And, equaly, of course all of the kids should get some.

Even industrial live stock operations consider it cruelty to deny their "charges" constant access to water, so why is it "special treatment" to provide it for our own spiecies?

Oh, and don't say "because animals can't ask for it" because neither can your average school kid.

Give them heck and get your son hydration.

MM

[AmyG]

A lot of schools are allowing students to have water at their desks now. IMHO, all of them should.

I have been a teacher before. I know that allowing all students to have water can be a problem. There will be spills. There will be days that some kids forget their water and want some. The teacher needs to find a way to deal with it. Children's health is more important than spilled water.

We all NEED to drink throughout the day. It's important for our health, and it's impossible to learn if we aren't rested, well-fed, and hydrated.

I would ask for a change in policy. Talk to other moms. Talk to parents whose kids are in nearby schools. Many may already allow water. If you don't get anywhere, find written evidence that kids need water (shouldn't be hard to find) and give it to the principal. This is an important change for your child and the other children in the school.

[bestjob]

My dd's school also expects that every child will bring a bottle of water to his or her desk every day. Most kids use sports-type bottles so they don't spill. They sip them when they are thirsty. There are occasional waterfights during recess, so the children are not supposed to take waterbottles outside. That's okay with me because I've noticed that many kids don't keep track of their things very well at dd's school.

If your ds's school doesn't recognize the importance of hydration, try assembling a fact list, approach the school council and the school administration, and work to make the school better for all the kids, not just Paxton. There really are other parents who would like schools to be friendlier to kids, and you are speaking for them when you take up this issue.

[Jennifer Z]

Find out when the next school board meeting is and ask to be put on the agenda. Try to get a district wide policy change. Gather your facts and present an arguement for the policy. Like many have said before, it seems like a pretty basic need and if they implement a policy to make it less disruptive (like spill-proof glasses), it would improve learning.

[Britishmum]

I think you need to take a careful approach in order to get the change that you want (for all children in the school to be able to remain hydrated during the day).

If you take the approach that you have - ie telling your child to do something that is against school policy, you are setting up a conflict straight away. A more productive approach would be to work with the teacher and school to understand the importance of hydration for brain function - which will work in their favour in the end.

From the teacher's perspective, if she is facing suddenly having thirty children with bottles of drinks when they have never had them before, she is facing possible chaos for the first few weeks! Also, if you are allowed to dictate to your child that he is allowed to break school rules according to your own values, what does she do when Hayley and Kurt turn up with a can of coke, and Janine brings in a Twix because her mum doesnt want her getting hungry in class? I totally agree that you are right that all children need free access to water during class, but the way to instigate change is not to tell your child to just go ahead and follow only your instructions in school. Not every parent will agree with your values, and the responsibility for school policies lies with the principal, not the individual parent. However unreasonable a school policy is, the way to get it changed is not to be confrontational or to involve your child in breaking the rules. You need to think about the message that this gives your child - plus you are far less likely to instigate change by working in isolation!

There are ways that schools can make water available to children during the day without it creating chaos and disruption, but it needs to be done as an overall policy, not according to the individual parent's agenda. It will probably be tough for the teachers to rethink this and to take the plunge and introduce a system. Be mindful of the fact that teaching up to thirty young children at once is not an easy task, and that new approaches are often threatening for teachers, who often work on overload already. Put yourself in her shoes - if someone came in and just told you to reorganise your home and alter your home rules and systems overnight, you would respond with a mixture of resentment and fear of the unknown, and probably not be able to stand back and look at the issue clearly.

I would not send your son with his bottle for a while, and approach the Principal calmly and in private. Arm yourself with facts and documentation - and persuade him/her that actually, if children are well fed and watered during the school day, their achievement levels with improve and his SAT figures may soar as a result.

A useful link -
http://www.alistair-smith.co.uk/information/water.htm

Good luck!

[Oh the Irony]

Thanks for posting this. I have been concerned about my son's water consumption at school--he's in K. I was wondering what I could do...

In Wolf's cool co-op preschool they had little cups on the wall and pitchers of water. They could pour these and have water at times when they were moving around some--like center time.

I think the school thinks milk is the answer to everything.

Paula

[BAU3]

I don't think the water would cause a huge commotion unless they let it.

my sons K class is allowed to drink,either from thier own water bottles or the fountain in the class, anytime they want. No big deal. Achild gets up.. goes to cubby for own bottle or to the fountain, takes a drink.. and goes back to whatever he/she was doing... ocasionaly this will spark a small chain reaction.. but more often than not it goes unnoticed. They are also allowed to have a small snack of theit own if they wish (provided it's healthy) and once again its no big deal.. when they all know that their basic needs can be met whenever they need to, it just becomes part of everyday school life. No one tends to try to take advantage or fell "special".

I would suggest to " someone" that if your child drinks water during the day, and the other children AAlllll want some.. to suggest that the chilren are more than welcome to bring in thier own.... after an initial "freaking out" that they can actually drink water in school.. I'm sure it will become NO BIG DEAL

Mama Kass... I would be angry also.... your child should have access to water anytime he wishes. PERIOD. dehydration issues aside.. he should have the right to drink whenhe's thirsty..

[mama_kass]

Thank you all for posting. I really got a lot out of your responses. I did get a response from the principal. He was the one who said that I need to take him to the doctor and get a note. My wish is not to have special treatment for my son. All the children need to have free access to water. That is my goal.

I do need to take him to the doctor. It is my guess that he is experiencing dehydration. A doctor needs to assess what is going on with him.

Still the water issue is huge. He is at school for 10 hours and gets 3 cups of fluid all day with two breaks for water from the fountain to the count of three or five depending on how much time they have.

I like the idea about fighting this from a cooperative point of view and not encouraging my ds to break rules. Honestly, I didn't expect to cause an issue by sending him to school with water. I am still sending him to school with water and have instructed him to drink it during breakfast, lunch, and after school snack. Now I've found out he may only have it at lunch and breakfast. The good news is that they have told him he may drink water from the fountain during his after school program. I feel like I've made a little head way.

I'm going to get this resolved. Not as easily as I'd hoped, but you have all given me some great ideas. I'm going to take him to the doctor and talk to the ped. Them I'm going to arm myself with info and begin working on this with the principal. I'll take steps from there according to how things are going.

[magnoliablue]

I am reading this and grrrr ing because my kids are in private school and they still have similar issues....they had scheduled bathroom breaks, and if they had to pee in between they had to hold it...when I heard that you can BET the school heard from me...needless to say they can pee when they want to now ...organizing is big, as in getting all the parents together..you'll be amazed what a little group of parents on a mission can accomplish..so consider what the other poster suggested about contacting some of the other parents and all getting together to approach the schoolboard. Good Luck mama!