What would you choose?

[LilyGrace]

We are looking to leave our little Nim's Island in a year, and have some "choices" - the quotes because our imput is minimal, in the end we are sent where we are sent.

But the list of places we can go to came out and it's divided right down the middle. We have our options of going to places we've never heard of, with few Americans and probably fewer hs'ers (like here!) or places that are more known, with lots of Americans and well-established hs'ing groups.

I'm torn. On one hand, the immersion in the culture would be outstanding and would give us more world learning, but on the other.........well, it's lonely and I look at youtube videos from the hs'ers in the more established places and feel a twinge of envy. I tried to start up a group here, but there's so few of us, and my efforts were met with the very stereotype of a hs'ing mom who was simply not interested with being out of the house!

So if this was you, which would be your top pick? The opportunity for immersion into the local community or a safety net of hs'ers and Americans to help you navigate the country?

[elizawill]

i'm not sure. that's a tough one! what does your son say about it? if you go away and hate it, can you ever return down the road?

[zeldamomma]

Unless there were something wrong with the choice with lots of Americans, I'd choose the place that would give you the option of hanging with other American homeschoolers. I would find it very stressful to move someplace where there wasn't the an oasis of familiarity, IYKWIM. Is there a reason you couldn't immerse yourself in your culture in the place with lots of Americans, or does the culture there interest you less?

ZM

[LilyGrace]

Originally Posted by elizawill

i'm not sure. that's a tough one! what does your son say about it? if you go away and hate it, can you ever return down the road?

Military orders, we have to leave and we probably won't be back. The kid knows and accepts it, but he doesn't really have a preference either way for the next station. We're currently on a short 2 year stint on an island in the middle of the ocean so we do have some preference given to our dream sheet, a list of places in the order we'd like to go to.

We have about 5 job sites open to us, ranging from so small that google maps registers it as a commune and shows a few buildings as the entire workforce (though lots of towns and a very rich local history surrounding it) to so large that Americans dominate the area.

My first thought was to jump at the chance to go to these little places but I want the best of both worlds! I love that my fridge here is filled with fresh, simple groceries bought at the markets here but last night I would have killed for some KFC. I love that there's so few of us that everyone knows everybody, but I don't like that we all know each other's business. I LOVE that the Kid gets the chance to walk everywhere and be independent without fear of kidnappers and stranger-danger, but I miss museums and plays and zoos and everything else bigger places have to offer.

And I'm scared that if we push for another small place, it'll be too long out of my comfort zone and I'll be miserably homesick. It is hard learning language after language (I'm on my 5th, or 4th if you don't count the mother tongue) and it's like starting from infancy, being dropped in a place that doesn't speak English. I want to be adventurous and see the world and expose the Kid to all it has to offer, but.................ugh. Should I really push for it or just look at ways to vacation there, through, like, Disney Adventures where there's guides and stuff? LOL

[elizawill]

i would choose extreme and either stay where you are or go into the exotic unknown and steer clear of americans. but that's just me. that literally encompasses my daydreams. in your shoes, i'd try to make a list of pros and cons with your ds. he may give you more insight through his "list" as to what he is feeling. i hope you find clarity

[scheelimama]

Being military as well, I'd probably go for being back in America. But that's just me. I could only handle being "away" from my country for a few years before I'd want to be back.

[Serendipity]

Wow, what an incredible life!

Can you go to an Americanized place for a stint and then back into the unknown for the next assignment?

[muttix2]

How long have you been away from America? I'd like to live in an exotic place for a few years. Plus, that is something that is so valuable for your kid. Learning another language and being immersed in the culture while doing so is a fabulous experience.

[AAK]

How old is your kid?

I voted to "take the leap", but the vote may be swayed with the age of your child. With my children (9, 6, & 3), I would leap!

[Jennifer3141]

I vote for "take the leap" but I have about a 50-50 track record of my leaps being "successful."

[onlyzombiecat]

I voted other.

It sounds like you might enjoy going to a community with more Americans/homeschoolers/activities this time.
This is not likely to be the last time you move your family right?

I would make a pro/con list for each choice to help clarify the decision if it were me.

[Ruthla]

[QUOTE=LilyGrace;13717206]And I'm scared that if we push for another small place, it'll be too long out of my comfort zone and I'll be miserably homesick. It is hard learning language after language (I'm on my 5th, or 4th if you don't count the mother tongue) and it's like starting from infancy, being dropped in a place that doesn't speak English. I want to be adventurous and see the world and expose the Kid to all it has to offer, but.................ugh. /QUOTE]

I think you have your answer right there.

Since you've just been someplace "secluded", I think it's time for some community in your next assignment. Then you can be advensuresome the next time you have to move.

[kathymuggle]

In your shoes I would probably pick somewhere American-ish.

[Plummeting]

I voted "other" because I'm not part of a homeschooling group and I'm (mostly) okay with that. All the local ones are conservative Christian groups of the super-far-right wing Republicans who hate gays, Democrats and non-Americans type and I honestly don't want to be surrounded by people like them more than I have to be.

However, being a military spouse myself, I get sick and tired of being far from everyone and everything familiar and we're IN the U.S. You've already immersed yourself and your kid in another culture for a while. A lot of times non-military people are all about "go for it!" because they really don't have any clue how isolating it is to move every few years. Add to that the problem of being in a place where you and the people can't even communicate well and you have a recipe for a lonely disaster. Sure it's okay for a while, but for all the time, over and over, culture after culture? I don't think it's okay or even healthy. You've done it once, you miss your culture and there's nothing wrong with that.

It sounds like the only reason you're considering another foreign place is because it's supposed to be an adventure. I don't think immersion in a foreign culture makes up for the lack of extended family contact it usually causes, the stress it places on everyone in the family or any of the other drama it causes, when you've already had that experience. If you guys were excited about it, I'd say it sounds fun, but it seems more like you feel obligated not to miss out on an adventure, despite all the hardship it causes. There's no obligation not to miss out on every exciting thing that comes along, so you don't have to feel that way. Sometimes the most exciting things are mundane to everyone else.

[ChinaDoll]

I agree with Plummeting; we lived in a remote part of China for 6 years, and after that, I *needed* to be back in the US for a while. Even though we're not super-close to family, being back in our home culture has been a great break. Good enough that I'm ready to go again, after being here 3 years. Sometimes a sanity break is a good thing!

[LilyGrace]

You all brought up some very good points. Thank you! DS is 10, will be 11 (or almost) when we move. He's roaring to go anywhere, do anything. Dh and I mentioned that we were planning a grown-ups only trip to Egypt in a few years and the pouting that ensued...oh, my!


All the places are overseas, some just have a lot more Americans than others. We are saving up to buy a house when dh retires so we want to spend as many of our last years away as we can. We make more with the COLA and lack of shopping opportunities than we can being in the Land of Target and KFC.

Dh and I took a long look at some of the places last night. The one is truly like moving to outerspace - even the touches we have here are not available there: American doctors, post store..school would simply not even be an option because there isn't an English speaking one. But, it is another short two year tour, it's on a flight schedule we know so I'd still be able to hop back to the States when needed, and it is surrounded by remnants of the very beginnings of Western civilization. How cool would it be to see that?? And, the language is close to some I've already learned so I could, theoretically, make myself understood as I try to grasp the new one.

On the other extreme, another job slot is in an area where there are several bases all together. The kid already is familiar with the area because we've visited family that lived there and gotten a chance to scope it out, not to mention we have the photos and emails of things they've done there. It's safe, so to speak. Very normal, very Americanized, and hey, if anything that part of my family would probably come visit since they could hit two birds with one stone, visiting his inlaws and her inlaws at the same time.




I don't want to not do something just because I'm scared. Dh and I decided to leave as much as possible up to Them; he is going to enter country codes rather than specific sites, including some not listed in our possibles right now - England, Belgium..to open it up further.


So in a month or two, hopefully I can come back to this thread and announce where we're going: huge American base or tiny outpost or the great unknown!

[treemom2]

My family currently lives in Japan (my DH works for a military base here but we are civilians). We homeschool part time and send our children to Japanese schools for cultural and language immersion. There are a few hsers on our base (we don't live on base) and there is a hsing group (with a very Christian focus). Would I like to be part of a hsing group? Sure, if I lived in a progressive city and could be part of a group with similar beliefs. Unfortunately, even if you do go back to the states; more than likely you won't be in an area like this and I think you would be disappointed with the groups and their dynamics on most military bases. I also think that living in a foreign country gives your child so much more than so many other children ever experience. My children have such an understanding of cultural differences, what it's like to speak another language than the norm (although they are both now fluent in Japanese. . .DH and I are not), they seem to have a better worldview than most Americans I've come into contact with (even the one's who live on base. . .of course some of them never leave base unless it's to go to another base). I would totally choose to explore the world: