I had a horrible time when my 2 child was born. My husband had a serious operation and was really unwell for almost 6 moths and depressed. My first child, who was then 2 years old started having terrible tantrums and misbehavior. Looking back it was totally normal given the situation and how stressed we all were, him being 2 years old, so many huge changes in his life. We also discovered since that he is very sensitive to gluten and milk and those were huge part of his behavior problems.
During this time he got spanked a lot but also I felt like I really wanted him to disappear. I wanted everyone to despair, just could not cope with all what was going on. I felt completely emotionally empty. I was also very surprised at my own behavior since both of the children were very much wanted and planed. I was really attached to him and spent with him every day since he was born, I loved him so much, we was carried a lot and slept with us, we were really gentle with him. And then this sudden change in my feelings: I felt so angry at him for bothering me.
I discovered later on that I was in the same situation as my first born son when my younger sister was born. My mum juts could not cope with two kids and I got spanked a lot. I was also two when my sister was born. It scary how the cycle repeats itself if you are unaware of it.
After finding out about my past my looking at the whole situation changed and the spanking stopped. Still I am very upset and feeling extremely guilty about that time. I also wonder how I can make sure my son was not harmed by my behavior and if he was how can I help him heal. I don't want him to repeat the cycle again. I know how difficult it is to deal with anger and guilt.
During this time he got spanked a lot but also I felt like I really wanted him to disappear. I wanted everyone to despair, just could not cope with all what was going on. I felt completely emotionally empty. I was also very surprised at my own behavior since both of the children were very much wanted and planed. I was really attached to him and spent with him every day since he was born, I loved him so much, we was carried a lot and slept with us, we were really gentle with him. And then this sudden change in my feelings: I felt so angry at him for bothering me.
I discovered later on that I was in the same situation as my first born son when my younger sister was born. My mum juts could not cope with two kids and I got spanked a lot. I was also two when my sister was born. It scary how the cycle repeats itself if you are unaware of it.
After finding out about my past my looking at the whole situation changed and the spanking stopped. Still I am very upset and feeling extremely guilty about that time. I also wonder how I can make sure my son was not harmed by my behavior and if he was how can I help him heal. I don't want him to repeat the cycle again. I know how difficult it is to deal with anger and guilt.
: This, from the woman who let me CIO so much that it made an indelible impression on my older sister. So, ignorance can be changed. Fear can be dealt with. Being overwhelmed is harder, but you can give yourself permission to be less than a perfect parent (and your kids to be less than perfect kids 
.
I am sure with enough love and praise he will be wonderful I was spanked until my father moved out of the house. I was 9 and that is not what I remember I remember climbing in my mothers bed at night and cuddleing with her when I couldn't sleep I remember playing outside all day and night or going sledding in the winter. that is what I remember as my childhood not my father wacking my butt! So at such an early age stopping yes he may flinch away once in a while but softly say to him "why did you do that mommy was just going to move some hair away from your eyes" or whatever fits the situation.
