tips for surviving (especially the nights)

[HoneybeeWaterfall]

DS is almost 20 months. He has been high needs and a crazy co-sleeper since birth. The other forums have a lot of discussion about night weaning which is not how I want to go. I WOH so he is in daycare M-F. The rest of the time is pretty much still on-demand and includes a lot of waking hours offers to nurse. I actually pumped from 3 months until 18 months (!) because I wanted to safeguard my supply.
I am very serious that I want DS to have a decent shot at CLW and not throw too many more "unintentional weaning" factors into the mix. The problem is that sleep sucks for the three of us (including DH) often and me most of the time. If DS nursed say four or five times a night and then rolled off that would be sweet but it rarely is the pattern. He sucks non-stop for hours and will angrily say "My nurse!" if I try to extract myself. I do actually believe that often this is due to something developmental. But like I said the sleep for me is practically non-existent and I am probably already insane.
Yet I do not want to wean, even night wean. Part of me says, this will pass eventually. Please any advice will be appreciated!

[ElliesMomma]

does he ever sleep well? wondering b/c mine is like that too. that's gotta be hard, considering WOH. if he is totally worn out, like let's say he went to play land and is physically exhausted, does it make him konk out for the night any better? wondering what wouold happen if 1) DH moved to a different bed for awhile for his own sake; 2) you nursed him to sleep (and detached somehow), then physically got out of the bed and perhaps slept on the floor (sounds lovely right) for awhile, just to see if it works.

i hope someone else has a better idea for you.

[HoneybeeWaterfall]

Well it helps a little just to think I am not alone
Since about 13 months we have usually managed to get him to go to sleep in the early evening and sleep for an hour or two. DH does the routine and so he falls asleep in his room on his mattress on the floor. When he wakes up that is usually when we three go to bed in our room and he does nurse back down there. Luckily we have a king mattress on the floor with a twin next to it. I have found that when he rolls off if I can get over there we all sleep better. I think he can smell the breast in his sleep if I am too close and then he wants it!
The problem is that the above description is more idealized than what happens in practice. Regardless of how tired he is and other factors that should help, many of the nights he is permanently attached for hours and throws a fit if detached. Historically I do think it is more likely to happen if he is sick/getting a cold, teething, doing developmental breakthough things (that little 20 month old can count!). He doesn't sleep well attached all night either so it undermines him even though emotionally it is what he "needs". So that is part of my problem - I can't imagine the trauma of night weaning and I want to CLW. On the other hand we are in a rut that is not so good perhaps for any of us. If I could make up with extra bf in the daytime I think I would be less anxious about nursing less at night.
Anyway, feels good to get it off my chest even if there isn't an "answer".

[ElliesMomma]

just a suggestion but i would change the routine since it's not working. i might think about skipping the part where husband puts him down in his own room (if he's only sleeping there for an hour or two) and just take him to bed when you go. sounds to me like next to you is where he wants to be. is it possible that he's going to sleep *tired*, konking out for an hour or two, and then waking up sort of desperate for you and your milk? and perhaps afraid that he's going to get moved back away from you? what if he just started and stayed next to you. and didn't go to sleep until you were ready to sleep. so at least you could get that first hour or two at the same time as he does. and since you have a queen and a twin mattress side by side, why not move him to the twin when he first nurses to sleep, if that's his best hour or two.

also i would keep trying to detatch him overnight. it's not night weaning if he's still getting milk, and all you are trying to do is sleep "unattached" after letting him nurse for a chunk of time.

my spirited kid/poor sleeper is now three. she will "switch" sides when i ask her to "switch" and i have found that when she is in a sleepy state, and i ask "switch" she will detatch and just nod off without reattaching. i of course take advantage of this break.