Is anyone else's family painfully mainstream?

[fascha]

Well my birth with DS was an induction due to GBS+ and broken water (of course, just my luck!) antibiotics, epi, tearing... pretty much everything but the C/S and so I am hoping (since this is our last child) that I can have a quiet homebirth (maybe not that quiet :P) for DC#2

My family would hit the roof if I told them what I was planning on doing because "what if something goes wrong?" is their favorite question. You should have heard my mother when she found out we didn't/aren't vaxing our DS!!!!
My SIL is totally supportive of my HB plan... so at least I do have ONE real-life person to talk to about it but.... I wish I could have the support of the rest of my family.

Is anyone planning or have planned to HB and just not say anything till the baby is born? I feel awful doing that, but the pressure of knowing everyone was waiting for something to happen the last time around really got to me. Ideally, DH and our DS (and our midwives and doula) would be the only people who even know I'm in labour.

I know it's a bit premature LOL but I am so sad that it has to be this way. Anyone else?

[lalaland42]

Not my family, but DH's family. When I had DD, my SIL said I *had* to have an episiotomy and when DD was a year, my BIL's eyes bugged out when I said we were going to have a HB with #2.

I'll probably tell them anyway, cause I am like that.

[nummies]

We probably won't be telling grandparents (mine) and the like because I just don't want to deal with all that.

Our parents already know because the minute I got home from the hospital after my traumatic first birth I said I was never going back.

[vegasgrl]

I already broached the subject with my mother. It did not go well at ALL. And my mom isn't one for reading research; she just knows best cuz she gave birth to me (in 1976, fyi). She had 2x c/s. "It was an emergency with your brother, Susan. You don't understand. If I hadn't been at a hosptial we BOTH would have DIED."

I had planned on not telling ANYone, but I caved the first time I talked to my mom after I started leaning toward the HB. The conversation went so horribly I have since decided that I'm just not going to talk about it if it comes up. Or even flat out lie and talk about the hospital my OB is out of at length. Heck, I could end up there. That is, if my non-medically trained hippie midwife has the presence of mind to recommend a transfer if I need it.

ETA: As for grandparents, I've actually been thinking about broaching the subject with my grandma. I mean, she had all her babies at home (one was stillborn). I think of all the women in my mom's family (and she has 3 sisters), grandma is really the only one who can have a rational discussion about letting your body do it's thing and how to get through labor pains without a million interventions...

[MrsAngelic]

Yes, my in-laws are. MIL is a retired nurse practitioner who says homebirth is very dangerous, and well, they disagree with pretty much everything we do. At least she stopped sending formula samples and pacifiers after the second birth, and just said "You are brave." after finding out the fourth was born via planned UC. During the pregnancy we just said we talked with a midwife (which was true) and no more, letting them assume we would be birthing with a CNM in the hospital like before. Saved me a lot of stress.

I hope this doesn't sound cold, but I am so glad neither DH or I are very close to our parents.

[waiting2bemommy]

Yep, i want a homebirth and i know it will not go over well. I'm still not sure if I'll be able to afford it, but the area in GA where
I will be living when the baby comes does not have any free standing birth centers, so it is a hospital birth or homebirth,a nd I do NOT want a hospital birth.

Not to mention that there are some funky laws that I still do not totally understand surrounding having a midwife at your homebirth, so my mom would probably flip out that what I'm doing is "illegal."

I will have my own place by then, so I plan on telling her and everyone else that they will not eb welcome in my home unless they are 100% supportive. ds' birth gives me confidence that if I had to birth this baby completely alone, I could do it. i do not need ther father or anyone else there.

[marinak1977]

Yeah, I'm sure my in-laws would think I'm insane when I'll tell them that I'm planning to CD, co-sleep, etc. As for my birth plans - I still have to work it out with my OB, I really like her so far, and she seems really receptive, so I'd like to have an OB assisted family friendly birth.
I think that may not be an issue with the relatives.

[petit_bleuet]

Well, my mom's already been through me ebf, cosleeping, and cloth diapering so she won't be surprised to learn I'm doing it all over again. She won't complain 'til we hit the 2 year mark if the first time's indicative. And she lives on the other side of the country so who cares?

My MIL bf DH 'til he was 3. I think she'll approve of my mothering style.

[RoseRed]

Me! We are doing the don't ask don't tell philosophy. I went to a midwife for my hospital birth - so no one has really put it together yet.
My sister knows, we saw the business of being born together and she doen't blame me.

Most everyone else though won't know for a while. As it is I barely know what to say when my SIL tell me what her 6 month olds favorite TV show is. 8)

[nudhistbudhist]

I have been upfront about everything I do, and I'm pretty sure there's nothing left to SHOCK them with... how sad :P except.... LOTUS BIRTH I cant wait to tell them lol. I think its funny that my whole family tells me I CANT do such and such, it won work, your crazy, bla bla bla. except I'm HAPPILY co-sleeping, with my baby who doesnt wear diapers even to bed, and has been dry overnight since 6 weeks, wear my naked baby all day long, even tho he's 26 lbs... hmmmm. I'd say, it works!

I'm an advocate for all things natural, and I am LOUD about it. Do your thing mama, and dont let anyone talk you down. If they aren't supportive,you might like to tell them that you are a responisible adult making VERY informed decisions, and if they cant support that, then this subject is closed for discussion.

[umbrella]

Yeah, but they've gotten used to me being different enough that they don't say much anymore.

I do remember way back when my first was born, and I'd been planning to just not have an epidural, everyone wanted to know after the baby was born, if I'd "managed to do it" or not. Seemed really weird to me that that's what people were preoccupied with, and very obviously willing to "Ha! I knew it!" if it had turned out I'd changed my mind or had a complication that led me to choose medical pain relief.

Such things helped it be that their opinions don't matter so much though.