How would you handle this??

[BRmama]

Tomorrow is my 3mo well child visit to his ped. Dh and I don't want to vax him period. My question is how would you approach your dc ped about this? It's the first time we'll be telling her, and first visit for my son since he was born. She is really nice and I called her office earlier to ask what she thought about it. Her nurse said that she definitely recommends them but ultimately it's the parents decision. Our relationship with his ped is a good one and I'm afraid she might look at us differently if we don't. I guess I'm getting worried where I shouldn't be. I just would like some opinions on how you'd handle it in a nice way.

BTW: This is a decision that both my dh and I strongly agree on and we think it's just not worthed it, so if there are any problems we'll be looking for another ped.

TIA

[Marnica]

I think most of us have BTDT!!

It is a good sign that she ultimately respects parental choice. Our first ped was the same although we have since found another one.

What you can expect is that she will tell you that you should vaccinate and why she feels you should. She may use fear mongering (mine did...told me about a child dying of something or another). She may ask WHY you don't want to. My advice is DO NOT GET INTO IT WITH HER!!! No matter what you say, she will not agree and will have tons of reasons/proof why your concerns are unfounded or unproven.

My advice would simply be to say that at this point, you are not vaccinating, but that you will leave the option open and reevaluate on an ongoing basis and that you and your Dh came to this conclusion for a variety of reasons which you do not wish to discuss at that time. She may then push 1 or 2 vaxes. "If you don't want to vax, that is your choice but I would def reccomend getting X, Y or Z vax. All peds seem to have a pet vax. Mine's was HIB.
After still refusing she may have you sign the "bad mommy" form. A vaccine waiver that makes it sound like you understand by not vaxing that you are putting your child's life at risk. They make you sign this form at each WBV (at least they did for me). At our 6 month visit, they pulled out another waiver that was "new" and the policies on there were totally retarded and I refused to sign and we ended up going elsewhere.

You really won't know what to expect until you get there. Just hold your ground...DO NOT GET INTO ANY DISCUSSIONS about it. If you do you will lose and end up feeling like a total idiot, even though your reasons may be sound ones! Let us know how it turns out! Good luck!

[xmasbaby7]

I would go one step further and simpler by stating that you aren't vaccinating now and want to delay a little longer so that you can agree on the best schedule.

As new parents, we all want someone in authority to tell us we are doing a good job, so everyone deals with wanting to be the A student to their ped, but when your child is a year old, your baby's excellent health will be all the reassurance you need, and you will be much more indifferent to your ped's opinion.

Seeming like a delayer will save her the speech and the bad mommy form.

Seem really casual about it. YOu are lukcy you and dh agree, too!

[poppan]

I did the delayer speech when I decided to stop/delay all vax after the 2 month appt. I'm now wishing I had just told them I'm not vaxing, period, and I'll let them know if I change my mind in the future. Because every time I go there, I have to listen to the same speech from our pedi AGAIN on why I should vax. If I had just said no firmly, I think she would not feel obligated to give me the pro-vax arguments every.single.time.

But it probably depends on your doc. I think mine feels she's legally and ethically obligated to keep working on me since I am "undecided". And I don't think they would kick me out if I said I'm no-vax, period. I don't think that would be the case with every doctor.

[MyBoyAramis]

I did the "I'm still researching them." line with my son's first Pediatrician. I switched doctors and went to a Pediatrician that is more understanding and hasn't brought up my son's un-vaxd status at all. (Of course, his new Doc did have a "pet vaccine". Her's is Mumps. But I told her I would look into it and obviously, I decided not to. She hasn't brought it up.)

[BRmama]

Update on pediatrician visit....Thanks for all the replies!

I just got back from the peds. office and it went pretty well. She brought up the schedule for me to see, and she gave me an option. She said a lot of parents ask her which ones she thinks are the most important so her pet vax is the pertussis and the polio which I think it's the oral kind. She said if we are worried about the Dtap she said she has just the pertussis vaccine by itself, and the polio. So those are the two she'd recommend.

I stood my ground and said no thanks. I actually said we're delaying them. I didn't say no period and she understood. The truth is she's a very nice doctor and did not push the issue and gave us a choice. However I've reached the decision to not vax at all ever until they do more studies about it and so forth, also we'll be moving across town and so we'll be looking for a whole other pediatrician and whoever we find I'll make it clear that we wont be vaxing ever. It's better to do it in the first visit then later when the time comes for it. Anyway I asked her what to do to protect my lo from this swine flu going around (my state is one of the states where there are cases and schools shut downs), and she said there's really nothing you can do, and that I should be more worried about him getting those diseases from not vaxing than the flu :. What she doesn't know is that when he's older I'd love to expose him to somebody with chickenpox, and I'm not worried if he does get pertussis now . I mean I know what to do to treat it and so on.

So he remains unvaxed . He only had the HIB when he was born because the wonderful dr. who delivered him kept pressuring me while I was under the epidural from my c-section and while I said no like three times he finally said that the baby wont be able to leave the hospital if he doesn't have his HIB shot. :. Dh gave in but now we are a lot more informed of our rights and we'll be getting a midwife next time.

Thanks again!

[poppan]

Yay! Congrats on everything going well. I'm very interested that your pedi said she has the pertussis vax by itself. When I looked into that I thought the answer I found was that they don't make it by itself anymore and you have to get the D and T with it. Would love to hear from anyone else who has heard one way or the other.

P.S. Your son probably had Hep B not HiB at the hospital when he was born. Hepatitis B is the only shot "required"/"recommended" at birth. Hib (Haemophilus influenzae type b) is not until 2 months.

[BRmama]

Thanks poppan, and oh yeah my bad . Still sucks that he got it though. I'll have to ask her more about that vax just out of curiosity. Frankly I'm sad I'm moving because I really like her as my son's ped.

[poppan]

We got that one too (Hep B) and I'm still kicking myself for it... of all the things to get, I think that is one of the sillier ones to waste my imaginary "quota" of shots on. I think they should have to ask you while you're still pregnant what you want to do, and they should not be allowed to argue with us right after birth! (I'm even extending that to 2-3 months after birth because I was a hormonal mess for that long.)

[PaigeC]

I know you've already been to the ped (good for you! She sounds like a good dr.). I wanted to say what worked for me. We have a very accepting ped but at the hospital when I was refusing hepB, eye goop, and vit. K the vit K is the one thing the on-call ped gave me a hard time about. I listened to her concerns and then said, "I really appreciate your point of view and that you are uncomfortable with our decision but this is an important religious decision we've made."

I said it very nicely and very sincerely as far as appreciating her point of view. I think she backed off because I let her say her peace. Also, what's she gonna say to someone's religious beliefs! (I'm sure there are peds out there who would)

[Wildsky]

My solution was simply to skip well baby visits. I could tell if my children needed a doctor, and well baby visits are designed to accomodate shots.

I actually never had to take my kids to the doctor for any illness at all up to a month ago.
My son Age 9 got sick with a strep in fection in his salivary gland, and I took him for his second ever visit to the doc. His first was at 2 weeks old.

My daughter is 5 and hasn't been to a doctor at all, she was born at home and has never been sick enough to go to a doctor!

[BRmama]

We got that one too (Hep B) and I'm still kicking myself for it... of all the things to get, I think that is one of the sillier ones to waste my imaginary "quota" of shots on. I think they should have to ask you while you're still pregnant what you want to do, and they should not be allowed to argue with us right after birth! (I'm even extending that to 2-3 months after birth because I was a hormonal mess for that long.)[

That's such a good idea! That's true I'm just now feeling better from the birthing experience I've been through and it was a very rough birthing experience for me.

I know you've already been to the ped (good for you! She sounds like a good dr.). I wanted to say what worked for me. We have a very accepting ped but at the hospital when I was refusing hepB, eye goop, and vit. K the vit K is the one thing the on-call ped gave me a hard time about. I listened to her concerns and then said, "I really appreciate your point of view and that you are uncomfortable with our decision but this is an important religious decision we've made."

I said it very nicely and very sincerely as far as appreciating her point of view. I think she backed off because I let her say her peace. Also, what's she gonna say to someone's religious beliefs! (I'm sure there are peds out there who would

That's good you have an accepting dr. I agree, I think drs. appreciate when you're not so defensive with them. Of course not all drs. are nice. I made a point to be nice to her, although I was ready with answers had she pushed the subject which she didn't. I'm kicking myself because he also got the vit. k and the eye goop and now he might have problems with his eyes. I have to take him to the ped opthamologist (I hope that's how it's spelled) :

My solution was simply to skip well baby visits. I could tell if my children needed a doctor, and well baby visits are designed to accomodate shots.

I actually never had to take my kids to the doctor for any illness at all up to a month ago.
My son Age 9 got sick with a strep in fection in his salivary gland, and I took him for his second ever visit to the doc. His first was at 2 weeks old.

My daughter is 5 and hasn't been to a doctor at all, she was born at home and has never been sick enough to go to a doctor!

Wow, I hope my kids turn out as healthy as yours. I'm seriously thinking about skipping the WBV altogether and just take my ds to the dr. when he needs to.

[newmum35]

Originally Posted by desperatemommytobe

I just got back from the peds. office and it went pretty well. She brought up the schedule for me to see, and she gave me an option. She said a lot of parents ask her which ones she thinks are the most important so her pet vax is the pertussis and the polio which I think it's the oral kind. She said if we are worried about the Dtap she said she has just the pertussis vaccine by itself, and the polio.

Nope - pertussis is not available alone. It is only available within the DTaP. Ask her for the manufacturer's insert on the pertussis vax, and do share it with us!

I also believe oral polio is no longer available in the U.S, and hasn't been for some years, although maybe somebody else can elaborate. I was going to have a thread about this myself. Whether is is only available in special circumstances, or simply not at all. Again, asking for the manufacturer's insert, would answer that question. Even if you don't plan on vaxing, you can ask for the inserts to all the vaxes they recommend. Reading them can help in your decisions. I have quite a few here I picked up at my ped. I believe they are available online too but it is nice to have a hard copy, esp. as the specific ones your own ped uses. (some are different companies) You don't have to have an appt to get the inserts, just ask at the window (receptionist) and they should be able to go back and bring them out for you.

[BRmama]

Originally Posted by newmum35

Nope - pertussis is not available alone. It is only available within the DTaP. Ask her for the manufacturer's insert on the pertussis vax, and do share it with us!

I also believe oral polio is no longer available in the U.S, and hasn't been for some years, although maybe somebody else can elaborate. I was going to have a thread about this myself. Whether is is only available in special circumstances, or simply not at all. Again, asking for the manufacturer's insert, would answer that question. Even if you don't plan on vaxing, you can ask for the inserts to all the vaxes they recommend. Reading them can help in your decisions. I have quite a few here I picked up at my ped. I believe they are available online too but it is nice to have a hard copy, esp. as the specific ones your own ped uses. (some are different companies) You don't have to have an appt to get the inserts, just ask at the window (receptionist) and they should be able to go back and bring them out for you.

That's great, I'll definitely call them later and ask what the manufacturer is. Also I think you should start that thread, it would be interesting to know what other people have to say about it.

[BRmama]

Originally Posted by poppan

I'm very interested that your pedi said she has the pertussis vax by itself.

Nope - pertussis is not available alone. It is only available within the DTaP. Ask her for the manufacturer's insert on the pertussis vax, and do share it with us!

I called earlier and they said I missunderstood. They can either give the combo which is the DTaP and hip B, and polio which is oral. However it makes me mad because I was there yesterday with my dh and we both heard her say that she has a vax just for pertussis by itself. She forgot to mention that it's the DTaP. If I didn't know any better I seriously would think that she'd be giving my son a pertussis only vax. :

I also believe oral polio is no longer available in the U.S, and hasn't been for some years, although maybe somebody else can elaborate.

They have the polio available and I guess it's part of the schedule of vax here. Also I forgot to say this. She told me this yesterday. "I have a sad story, we are out of the hep B vax right now and haven't gotten a new batch yet. If you want you can go to the health dept, and pay for them to give your son the shot and then send the claim to your insurance and they'll refund you." I was like ummm I don't think so. I thanked her for telling me this option but personally I think it's ridiculous that I have to pay for something that could potentially harm my baby.


So the manufacturers of the combo shot is pediarix, and for the DTaP is glaxosmith Klyne, I'll be researching these two manufacturers. Thanks again for the responses

[Marnica]

Originally Posted by desperatemommytobe

I called earlier and they said I missunderstood. They can either give the combo which is the DTaP and hip B, and polio which is oral. However it makes me mad because I was there yesterday with my dh and we both heard her say that she has a vax just for pertussis by itself. She forgot to mention that it's the DTaP. If I didn't know any better I seriously would think that she'd be giving my son a pertussis only vax. :





They have the polio available and I guess it's part of the schedule of vax here. Also I forgot to say this. She told me this yesterday. "I have a sad story, we are out of the hep B vax right now and haven't gotten a new batch yet. If you want you can go to the health dept, and pay for them to give your son the shot and then send the claim to your insurance and they'll refund you." I was like ummm I don't think so. I thanked her for telling me this option but personally I think it's ridiculous that I have to pay for something that could potentially harm my baby.


So the manufacturers of the combo shot is pediarix, and for the DTaP is glaxosmith Klyne, I'll be researching these two manufacturers. Thanks again for the responses

The oral polio vaccine (OPV) has not been used in this country since 2000. The IPV (inactivated) polio vax took the plave of the OPV in 2000. You are either confused or your pedi is!! You are in the US right?

[BRmama]

She didn't mention that part. I'm not sure now, I'll have to check with her to make sure and yeah I'm in the US. Either way my son isn't getting any of them .