Parents of Cryer?

[Ellen Griswold]

Anybody else out there who has a cryer? Sigh. Just had ds's preschool conference today (delayed kindy this year in part because of this type of behavior). Teacher mentioned that this issue of him crying (and I mean carrying on type stuff with tears and wailing) has just not resolved itself. About 99% of the time it is about disappointment. For example, on Monday, the weather was wonky around here and a sudden rain shower popped up at outside time, couldn't go out, and unfortunately the gym was being used by the middle school kids, so they couldn't go in there. He cried. And cried. And cried. And then when he saw me afterward, he had to cry again. All because they couldn't go play. I feel bad for him. He's sad, he's setting himself up to get teased, he knows that this isn't really acceptable for a 6 year old but can't help himself. So, how do I help him? We've talked about it, tried behavorial chart type stuff (but it's way too random for that), and I just don't know. DH is sympathetic but clueless as well, and reports that he cried all the way through middle school. Is it dumb to think this is a genetic trait?

[jt'smum]

Poor poor thing! I have no suggestions but feel very sad for him and you. I hope someone can help!

[somelady]

I was/am a crier.... the thing I've found that helps the best is deep breathing/relaxation stuff. Though I didn't figure this out until I was an adult, so I dunno if it'll help your ds.

[MamaStarbird]

I've heard good things about The Highly Sensitive Child but haven't read it yet. I was totally that kid but don't know yet whether DD will be.

[Treasuremapper]

Do you want advice or support only?

[Ellen Griswold]

Originally Posted by Treasuremapper

Do you want advice or support only?

Either is fine. Thank you for asking.

[Deer Hunter]

Some people are just very sensitive. It is hard for everyone to fit the socially acceptable mold. From personal experience, if you let society dictate who you are, you'll be a mess, and you will never ever please everyone. The most important thing is to learn to love who you are, and even if teasing does happen, that self confidence serves as a protection. Perhaps, that is what you should focus on with your son?

When I was a child, I just held everything in. People viewed me as socially unacceptable because they thought I was cold for not showing emotion at what they call "Appropriate times." To reassure you, everyone is different and special in their own special way. What is appropriate for one may not be appropriate for another. Society does not have the right to mandate how a person reacts/feels. It is a personal prefference. It is okay that your son does not fit the mold. He is who he is, and the best thing you can do is to provide a supportive environment for him and do things that will boost his confidence. Teach him to love himself. That is the best I can offer other than my prayers for you.