Is it appropriate? 5 mo at funeral

[~ Wonderful Life ~]

My neighbor's 30 yo son (who lived with them) died in their home yesterday of an apparent overdose.

He had been diagnosed as bipolar a few days ago and has struggled with addiction in the past.

Sad, sad, sad situation.

My Q - is it appropriate for me to take my 5 month old to the funeral?? Otherwise I can't go.

[mommabear207]

i don't see a problem with it.

[Ducky5306]

I think its fine, Of course i'd leave if the baby got too upset and wouldn't settle down easily..

Every funeral home i've ever been too has a basement or other separate room that you could go into if the above happens.


So sorry for your neighbor's loss..

[calpurnia]

i think it's fine (unless it's a funeral of another child, which doesn't apply in this case)

[CorasMama]

If you can be reasonably certain of the baby being quiet during the service, then yes. If he's the right temperment for this, you can try timing your day so you get there with your ds hungry and slightly tired, but not overtired, that'd be perfect. Then you can just nurse him to sleep!

If you think he'll be loud (even loud baby babble would be kinda inappropriate, except in very specific communities,) then either stay in the foyer and go to the reception, or just go to the reception.

You can always go, sit in the back, and if he's noisy, duck out the doors and wait til the reception.

[jt'smum]

I took my 4 month old to my Uncles funeral last week. The funeral home director said "Its so nice to have a baby here. It gives us hope in such a sad time." I thought that was very nice, then he showed me where I could go if I needed to nurse etc. DD was fine and smiled a lot and looked around. I say do it.

[nznavo]

I'd only do it if there's a way you can leave quickly and unobtrusively if your babe makes noise. I've got a 5mo and it could go either way - really unpredictable at the moment. I'd probably just go to the reception instead unless you are close to the family.

[MeepyCat]

I say bring her. Sit near an exit so you can step out if she's fussy.

[fancyoats]

last year when my dd was about 4 1/2 months, we went to the funeral of dh's gramp. she slept most of the time we were there. when she started fussing, we just went into another room to nurse. no problem.

[lunar forest]

I'd go and just duck out if baby wasn't quiet. there's no harm in that.

[lilyka]

i htink it iok but during the service I would take him out if he made any noise. just be over cautious about that sort of thing.

[pinksprklybarefoot]

I took DS to a funeral when he was only a few months old. I wore him and for the most part, he didn't make a peep. When he got fussy, I just nursed him to keep him quiet.

[onlyzombiecat]

I think it would be fine.
I'd just sit near the back so you can go out if he is making noise.

[mysticmomma]

Originally Posted by CorasMama

If you can be reasonably certain of the baby being quiet during the service, then yes. If he's the right temperment for this, you can try timing your day so you get there with your ds hungry and slightly tired, but not overtired, that'd be perfect. Then you can just nurse him to sleep!

If you think he'll be loud (even loud baby babble would be kinda inappropriate, except in very specific communities,) then either stay in the foyer and go to the reception, or just go to the reception.

You can always go, sit in the back, and if he's noisy, duck out the doors and wait til the reception.

this.

[rainbowsprite]

dd1 was at my grandmothers funeral aged about 7 months... i fed her right before it started and then i sat at the front with my family and my dh sat right at the back with dd... as soon as she started to make a noise he left very quickly and played with her outside and it was all fine

everyone loved seeing her at the reception afterwards and commented how seeing a new life was a great comfort etc etc but they were also *very* appreciative that dh had taken her out the second she made a noise during the funeral service

ETA my great aunts funeral was a couple of weeks ago and I *didnt* take my DD's (now aged 2.5 and 18mo) becuase i knew there was no way me and dh could keep them both quiet and again the family really appreciated me doing this as they felt the funeral service was no place for noisy toddlers even though they both knew my great aunt quite well

[LindyLou]

That seems fine to me. I think that your neighbors will be glad that you came.

[SeekingSerenity]

Originally Posted by CorasMama

You can always go, sit in the back, and if he's noisy, duck out the doors and wait til the reception.

:

My MIL died this past December, when Lil Man was 5 mo. I didn't take him but it's because I also had a 3-yo and a VERY hyper 5-yo. There's also a history where I wasn't welcome by the IL-family (even at a funeral, yeah, long story). But had it been just Lil Man, I'd have gone and sat in the back where I could leave unobtrusively should he fuss.

[LynnS6]

Yes. Funerals are a social expression of support for the family. They're also a recognition that life goes on. I brought ds to a funeral when he was about 18 months, and my aunt was so thrilled to have him there. (It was her mother who had died.)

[HarperRose]

Absolutely bring the baby.

We brought ds2 when he was 4 mos (a dear friend had died in a car wreck) and again when he was 12 mos (mil's funeral). Another friend of my dh's family brought her 2 yr old to mil's funeral and both children were a welcome sight.

[ChetMC]

I Would

I agree with the other posters. I would totally take a 5 month old to a funeral, assuming the baby was unlikely to be disruptive and I could quietly leave if they did get fussy.