Am I being unreasonable?

[pinksprklybarefoot]

My DSD thinks that I am being a big meanie because I won't let her wear Mardi Gras beads (the plastic kind they sell at party stores) to school. If it was something like a little necklace or bracelet that stayed on all day, I really wouldn't care. If she wanted to wear them to the grocery store, or even to Girl Scouts (I am the leader), I wouldn't care. But I want her to focus on learning at school, not play with her necklace all day.

She takes them off, swings them around, plays with them. I really don't think that they would stay around her neck all day. I can see them being fought over by the other kids. They seem like they would be one big distraction and the teacher would be thinking, "What were her parents thinking?"

In addition, she has a substitute teacher this week, and this teacher has been having a difficult time keeping the class under control as it is. I really don't want to add to this woman's stress by sending my kid to school with something that she is probably going to wind up confiscating.

Do I have a point, or am I just being mean?

[ashleyhaugh]

i think you have a point. if she would keep them on, thats one thing, but it sounds like she wont, so its probably better they stay at home

[jt'smum]

Nope I don't think you are. If you know it will be a distraction then you are right in not allowing them. DD isn't allowed to wear bracelets to school because she takes them on/off all the time. I think you are helping to prevent any troubles that might happen because of them.

[phathui5]

Could you compromise by having her wear a different kind of necklace?

[pinksprklybarefoot]

Originally Posted by phathui5

Could you compromise by having her wear a different kind of necklace?

Tried that. No dice. All of her other necklaces are "ugly."

[onlyzombiecat]

Not unreasonable.

[Phoenix~Mama]

I think you have very valid points and are being reasonable. I'm sure the sub would totally appreciate it too.

[serenekitten]

Nope, you have a point.

[Alyantavid]

Nope, totally right and I'd do the same thing.

[mamalisa]

I would let her wear them, but I also know my kid's teacher would have no issue with having them taken off and put away if they were a distraction. With the subsititute, I can see your concern.

Heck we do "Packer Fridays" and sell beads and tattoos during football season. None of the teachers have complained (trust me, they would say something if it was a problem) and the kids love it.

[sewchris2642]

Nope. I won't let Dylan wear them to school for the same reason.

[meemee]

: i would let the teacher be the meanie. you are assuming she would play with the beads. she may she may not.

i would talk to the teacher and let her know how important it is for ur dd and ask her to discipline if dd was distracted or distracting others with it.

uless there is a school policy of no personal items allowed.

that way you are not the meanie :

and hey if she is not interested in learning then the beads or no beads is not going to make a difference. i see kids all the time fidgiting with something. anything. even a crayon wrapper. or like my dd go into dreamland. she ultimately does well in school so if the teacher doesnt say anything, i dont say anything.

[SweetPotato]

It's not something I would fight about. I would let her wear them, but have a talk first about your expectations, etc. I'd trust the teacher to decide if they were causing problems.

[rootzdawta]

Because it's a substitute teacher, I agree you are in the right. More than likely, if it's a distraction and then the sub asks her to take it off in class, she will challenge or out rightly refuse. There's really not much the sub can do--might not even know her name to report it.

Having been a sub, it's really touching that a parent would actually think about a substitute teacher's position. I know your daughter can't stand you for it but you're really saving that sub an extra headache.

[sisteeesmama]

I guess I'm the only one who thinks is silly to keep her from wearing them? That's ok!
My mom was like that, school was very important to her, much more important than anything I could have thought was important.

I just think it's silly to tell her no, but obviously I am in the minority!

[mom2my3boyz]

If you know she isn't going to keep them on then I think you are definitely doing the right thing. I'm sure that would be a distraction in class.

[waiflywaif]

Unless there are rules about jewelry, I'd let her wear them but warn her that they could get taken away if she messes about. If they did get taken away, oh well, so sad, that's what I thought might happen. Not a bad consequence to learn.

[GiantGi]

I would tell her that they may get lost. They may get broken. They may get taken away. Then let her make the decision.

[sapphire_chan]

A point, you have one.

Any chance she'd respond to an appeal to help out the substitute? "Ms. Smith isn't used to all of you kids, can you help her out by doing your best to stay calm and focused on the class?"

[vegemamato]

Originally Posted by MabMama

I would tell her that they may get lost. They may get broken. They may get taken away. Then let her make the decision.

:

I would also (if possible) help the teacher out by mentioning to her that the beads can and should be taken away if they are too distracting.. Some subs try too hard to be everyone's friend and they end up feeling uncomfortable when they need to 'step-up'.