Will it get better?

[Italiamom]

I don't know what to do. I am so, so, so tired. My baby hates me. Every time I lie down, the baby starts crying, without fail, day or night. He'll sleep for several hours at a time, as long as I'm not lying down. I'll put him down, he'll be sleeping, and I'll sit up in bed waiting, just to be sure that he's asleep. Then after 10, 15, 20 minutes, I'll lie down. And immediately he'll start crying. It's as though his crying is dependent on me lying down.

I'm only 3 weeks in to being a parent. If I'm this bad at it now, what am I supposed to do?

[lisasaurus]

it absolutely can and will get better! 3 weeks is not a long time, and your baby just needs his needs met right now, which it sounds like you are doing just fine. The bonding is not always instantaneous, and that is perfectly ok. it will come.

are you seeing anyone (counselor or doctor) to talk about how you have been feeling? If you are interested in finding resources in your area, you are in luck because there is help locally!

http://www.fourth-trimester.com/

Please don't hesitate to reach out. you are not alone and things will get better!!!

[goodygumdrops]

Oh mama. You need to get yourself in to see someone. You are having classic ppd symptoms.

things that can help you cope...

-learn how to side nurse and dose while the babe is latched on.
-get yourself in to a psychiatrist and discuss meds and talk therapy
-take your babe for lots of walks in a sling outdoors
-get someone over to care for the babe so you can get some uninterupted sleep. You need 3 hours chunks to prevent ppd.
- Have your hubby help with the nightime. Share parenting with him. Let him do the nighttime diaper changes,etc.
-You may want to start taking some fish oils to add epa/dha to your system. These really help with depression and mood swings.

You need to go and apologize to your babe for telling him that you hate him.
Explain to him everything that you said here...that your tired and you need him to go easy on you.
Seriously, if you feel like yelling at him or very angry, you need to put him in the crib and go outside by yourself for 5-15 minutes. Take deep breaths and just spend sometime calming down. As parents, we expect to be perfect and that just is impossible so let some of it go. Your going to have good days and bad but as long as you are loving, honest, and forgiving you should be fine.

Hugs mama,
Amy

[womansmom]

oh wow, my heart aches for you!! I have ppd and I did not want to ask for help because i would seem weak because i couldn't take care of our daughter. I did reach out and ask for help and spoke with my doctor about medication. It will get better. I know it is so hard to see that right now. Our baby is like that. She likes to be held all of the time.

Your baby will NOT remember. I have done the same thing to my daugher, telling her why did I ever have her, and get upset at her for just being a baby.

We will be thinking of you in our thoughts and prayers.

Monika

[herbsgirl]

I will be praying for you.........

I had postpartum depression so bad I thought I was going to have to go to a mental hospital if it didnt start improving. Guess what?

I Got Better!!!!! Yep, with the help of Progesterone pellets under my tounge every 6 hours, and zoloft (generic) 50 mg, I got better. Now my baby is almost 7 months and with natural products I was able to wean off the meds. Just have faith, because this too shall pass.

[LynnS6]

Hon, please go see your doctor. You haven't ruined your son, but you do sound like you're having a really really hard time. There is treatment for how you feel, and you can get into a groove with him.

Any chance of getting a postpartum doula to help?

Another thought - it's possible that your baby is one of those few who would sleep better in a basinette. Our ds did. Cosleeping never appealed to him. Even today his idea of 'snuggling' with me is to lie about 3 feet away from me on the bed.

I had PPD really badly with our first, and other than nursing him, dh did most of the care. Guess what? Ds is very much attached to me. I went in to kiss him goodnight and he complained that he hasn't had enough time with me recently. He wrote me the sweetest little book in school for mother's day.

But, I got help at about 4 weeks, and was doing much, much better by 8-10 weeks. So, that short little bump in our road did NOT destroy our relationship. Neither will yours. You will get better. You will be able to develop a strong relationship with your child. Please seek out the help that will get you started.

FYI, this organization was very helpful to me when I had PPD: http://www.babybluesconnection.org/. They're based in Portland, but I wonder if they would have resources for Corvallis.

[soulfish7]

Looking for More Support

Originally Posted by herbsgirl

I will be praying for you.........

I had postpartum depression so bad I thought I was going to have to go to a mental hospital if it didnt start improving. Guess what?

I Got Better!!!!! Yep, with the help of Progesterone pellets under my tounge every 6 hours, and zoloft (generic) 50 mg, I got better. Now my baby is almost 7 months and with natural products I was able to wean off the meds. Just have faith, because this too shall pass.

Hi HerbGirl!
I just had my 2nd boy about a week ago and I'm dealing with the 'blues' ... the physical low and off balance feelings and fogginess make me feel abnormal but after research I'm finding it is normal ... I know 'This too shall pass' and have moments of feeling normal again as I just started taking natural meds like omega DHA/EPA, Blessed Thistle ... how long did you deal with it? None of my good friends can relate but I'm having so much support from my hubby, pastors, friends ..etc...

[beepee4427]

is this normal

i think im suffering from ppd, i feel horrible! i experience these feelings like im here but not here is this depression or anxiety sometimes things feel unreal to me its really scary!!! please help anyone

[mom0810]

Yes, PP. You have depression, from what it sounds like. It can be a very scary feeling. Please go talk to your OB or midwife asap.

Also, you can read Beyond the Blues by Shoshanna Bennet. Also, PPD for DUmmies, by the same author.

GO to www.postpartum.net and try to find resources in your area. Get help now. If you want to PM me, I am here to help.

[beepee4427]

oh thank you for your reply, this is very scary stuff! im gonna be seeing a counsler and i started taking some luvox cr. Is this really what ppd feels like? (sucks)! anyway i appreciate any advice!!! i feel like im going crazy, but i know im not!!! thanks again

[ImsohappythatIama]

Hi,

You are not going crazy. I don't know what kind of medication luvox is... is it an ssri? Are you nursing?

As long as you are going to therapy, you will be in good hands. Best Wishes to you!

[beepee4427]

yeah luvox is an ssri, i hope it helps! just want to feel like myself again!!! thanks for your support!!!!