Another "how old to be alone" thread

[ChetMC]

We're currently living in an apartment. This is a short term situation, but it's raised a lot o issues we'd never considered before. One, is leaving a child alone in the apartment.

At what age would you leave a child alone in the apartment to go down the hall to the garbage chute?

What about if you need to make multiple trips down to the car to empty it out?

Does it matter to you if the child is asleep or awake?

If we only had one child it wouldn't be so bad, but we've got three... and sometimes it feels like we're living the goat, cabbage, wolf puzzle... trying to figure out how to get all groceries and sleeping kids out of the car and never have a child alone, or, if a child will be alone, for it to be the oldest child and for the alone time to be in the apartment not the parking garage.

[Alyantavid]

Well I leave my almost 3 year old in the house while I get the mail or take the trash out or whatever. Sometimes his 7 year old brother is there with him, sometimes he isn't.

I live in the country so there aren't other people going around my car or anything. I don't know that I'd be comfortable with that.

[meemee]

i would never leave my dd alone sleeping coz she would freak out if she didnt see me.

i have left her alone at 3 immersed in her stuff and gone to get quick things or keep the door open, not watch dd and talk to neighbor.

gosh i am a single mom and i cant imagine how i could have managed if dd had to go EVERYWHERE with me. of course she considers the bathroom fair game :

when we single moms used to do a grocery run together, we would get the kids a treat that they ate/played with (usually the ads paper when they were all little) while we brought in the groceries and put them away.

[ChetMC]

Different

Originally Posted by Alyantavid

Well I leave my almost 3 year old in the house while I get the mail or take the trash out or whatever. Sometimes his 7 year old brother is there with him, sometimes he isn't.

I've left the kids alone in the house to get the mail or take out the garbage, but it feels different now that we're in an apartment....

I could still see the house and hear the kids if they were loud (which they are when something is wrong). From the garbage room I can't see the door of the apartment, or hear if anything is happening. I'm totally out of earshot. And as for situations that require multiple trips to the car, we're on the third floor and the car is in the parking garage. We're not even in the building. The child who is alone is completely alone.

i think my concern is 25% the child being alone for ten minutes, and 75% other people in the building releasing that we're leaving a child alone and calling CPS.

[snoopy5386]

I would feel fine with either situation. The garbage shoot I would never even think twice about. The groceries, I would lock DC in the apt in between trips, but otherwise I wouldn't worry. Why would your kids be alone for 10 mins? Even bringing groceries in and out that should only take a couple of mins. I might invest in one of these if you are worried about it, I am assuming your building doesn't have an elevator?
http://www.amazon.com/Roadrunner-Whe.../dp/B0018TVZWE
Sleeping kids is a tough one, I would just stay in the car with them if it is a nap situation, or if it is at night, one person stays with the kids in the car while the other carries the sleeping ones upstairs, or just wake the older ones up and make them walk.

[pinksprklybarefoot]

It probably depends on the building. We live in a fairly small building, and I never worry about taking the garbage out (outside), the dog out, or going to the laundry (down the hall). DS is 2 and will follow me sometimes, run down the hall sometimes, or even go up or downstairs.

But, like I said, the building is small. We've lived here for years. Some of the neighbors are old and nosy, so anything out of the ordinary is checked on right away (my dad was given the third degree after being parked in our lot for less than 10 minutes).

I do leave DS sleeping in the car for 30 seconds while I unlock all of the doors so I can bring him upstairs without waking him. I lock the car and work quickly. Then, once he is in his crib, I'll bring up the groceries or whatever. Once DS 2 arrives, I'll probably do that times two. But it really only takes seconds to get from our apartment to the parking lot, so I don't worry that much. It would take someone a lot longer to break the car window and figure out the car seat straps. Plus, there is usually a good chance that one of the nosy neighbors is outside anyway.

Even though we have nosy neighbors, the thought of them calling CPS has never occurred to me. Maybe it is the area we live in, but I've never even met someone who has dealt with CPS. DH's mom is a social worker, and it sounds like any complaint that results in action by social services has to be pretty bad... some of the dirty house things that I've read on MDC don't seem to be the rule around here.

[katheek77]

I leave my almost three year old alone to take out the garbage, empty the car, or run down two flights to the laundry.

I've been doing it since about the time she turned two. I can't carry her and the laundry bags or multiple bags of groceries or whatever at the same time. And, frankly, our parking lot is more dangerous than our apartment, imo, and you have to cross it to get to the dumpster or your car depending on how crowded. I do make sure the door to the balcony is closed and locked - that's my one neurosis.

I have left her in the car seat sleeping while I run bags in before, as well.

[demottm]

If it would help, get a baby moniter and take it with you. that way you can hear what is going on and they can call you if they need you right away.

[angie7]

I have left my 3 year olds in the house alone while I go to my car for something, etc. I actually have done it since they were babies but I always take the monitor so I can hear them, even if it's for a quick minute. But in an apt, I would probably feel differently.
Just yesterday I had both kids loaded up in the car and I remembered that I had to return a movie that we rented so I ran back in the house to get it but locked my car when I got out and left my backdoor open. We live in the heart of the city, lots of people walking around. My neighborhood isn't great but it's not that bad either. I don't mind leaving my backdoor open for a minute, I have 4 dogs, one of which is a 120lb Great Dane so I'm not concerned that anyone will walk through that door

I was left home alone when I was 8 years old.

[darcytrue]

I don't see a problem in the situations that you are describing. If you were getting in to your car and driving away to go run an errand then I would not agree with that. But going to get groceries from the car or taking out the trash, I see nothing wrong with doing that while the children stay inside the home.