When will it end?

[MeAndVee]

My son started the terrible twos a few months early. I'm wondering when it will end? People tell me it can go on for years. When did your LO get out of the terrible twos?

[alexsam]

Ummm... 2 was easy. It is 3 that is hard!

What is going on?

[MeAndVee]

Throwing fits when he doesn't get his way, throwing things when he doesn't get his way, saying no to everything, saying mine for everything, won't walk, being very bossy, typical toddler defiance. It isn't so bad. He is great most of the time. I'm just worried that it will get worse.

[Pumpkin_Pie]

I have heard that 3 is harder than 2 as well, and 2 is really rough right now in my house, so I feel for you mama. I am wondering if we (DS and I) both will survive the next couple of years with our sanity intact.

[ebbybaby]

This stuff started at 16 months for me with my lil girl, if not maybe a lil bit earlier than that even, beauty is she's 18 months now and she's at least showing signs of knowing what I'm saying now so I'm trying my best to communicate, but when I'm trying to get ready to go somehwere thats when I really lose it because she insists on coming into the bathroom, and I will give her her own toy to play with while we're in there, sit her down with stuff so I can do my face n such, she just keeps touching everything and I'll be like "nooo, thats mommas, you have your toy, nooooooo thats momma's you have your toy" over and over, finally I'll lead her out of the bathroom to another area a few feet out of it and tell her "here play here, no more bathroom, your not allowed to be in here and touch moms stuff, you can only come in and play in here with your toys".... its a repeated thing, usually about 15 times everytime we get ready.

[ebbybaby]

I think the baby phase will be the easiest part of parenting, my parents said it just gets harder, so enjoy these years while they are here. I try to remember that daily when I've got a 5 month old hanging off my hip, trying to cook something, with a 18 month old clinging to my leg. XD

[SunShineSally]

I also had the terrible 3's two was wondeful

It didn't last that long with Ds but again he was 3 and it was easy to talk to him and tell him what was wrong with what happened or he did or said!

I also think that what the "terrible two's" are about is seeing their boundies and how far they can go with the parents/caretakers

Do you have boundries set up for your Dc? If not sit and think about the most important things and set them up and start them asap!

one thing that helped with me at your Ds's age with my Ds was climbing he was a monkey we had to "take away" the things that he could and would climb we did a total remodel of the living space! but it helpped he saw it get changed and I think he knew why but it stopped a lot of stress for me. So if you can move and put in storage the things that will stress you out do so.

How will he not walk does he run? if one thing I did was I had a Kozy carrier and put Ds on my back it was so nice to go shopping that way if you have a nice and comfortable back carrier. If so That is an option and less stressful than a cart they can not grab everything!

Ds is five and still throws fits not all the time but once in a while. I believe that that is part of childhood honestly. Also you can handle them with a soft calm voice and then talk them down from that emotional high point. hold them and tell them that you know they are sad and angery but that is not theirs.

Saying mine is also a phase.

For the throwing I didn't let that one get far. When he would throw I was not say anything and take away whatever was near him and when he would get things back I would say "Joey no throwing" He eventually got it, that throwing means you do not have that toy/food/whatever it was. He at first therew major tantrums about it but they passed fast.

Everything you said is infact age appropreate and will pass but these are a few things that helped me get through it a little more peaceful

[SunShineSally]

Originally Posted by ebbybaby

This stuff started at 16 months for me with my lil girl, if not maybe a lil bit earlier than that even, beauty is she's 18 months now and she's at least showing signs of knowing what I'm saying now so I'm trying my best to communicate, but when I'm trying to get ready to go somehwere thats when I really lose it because she insists on coming into the bathroom, and I will give her her own toy to play with while we're in there, sit her down with stuff so I can do my face n such, she just keeps touching everything and I'll be like "nooo, thats mommas, you have your toy, nooooooo thats momma's you have your toy" over and over, finally I'll lead her out of the bathroom to another area a few feet out of it and tell her "here play here, no more bathroom, your not allowed to be in here and touch moms stuff, you can only come in and play in here with your toys".... its a repeated thing, usually about 15 times everytime we get ready.

Ds used to do that to me. I ended up buying him at the $store his own blush brush and comb and brush he loved it and would get ready with me he still does sometimes and he is 5 you may want to try that ohh I also got him a mirror from there that you can stand up and he used that instead of my mirror. Just wanted to let you know because it saved me so so so much stress my mother actually told me my sister ande I had all kinds of cheap stuff she did that with us but if you get it to look like yours it is better because they just really want to be like you and when you get them the kids ones they don't really want it.

[nd_deadhead]

I considered 2 to be the Age of Frustration. A toddler wants to run, jump, throw a ball like the big kids, but doesn't have the gross motor strength. He wants to color, pick up little things, put together a puzzle, but he doesn't have the fine motor control. He has a MILLION things to say, and most people can't understand half of what he says! He wants to make his opwn decisions, do things his own way,a nd exert his independence, but he (and his parents) just aren't ready yet. Who wouldn't be frustrated? Throwing a fit is a perfectly natural reaction to a high level of frustration - I've done it myself.

Once I changed my attitude about WHY my sons were behaving in such a way, it was a lot easier to be patient with them.

The rule in our house has always been "Fits don't work". No matter how much a child yelled and screamed, begged and pleaded, once I'd made a decision about something, no tantrum on earth would change my mind. I was (and still am) open to rational negotiation - just not tantrums.

Our kids were certainly allowed to express intense emotion - but not at the dinner table. A screaming kid was carried to the nearest bedroom to cool off. We never set a time limit - they could come out as soon as they felt like they were under control enough to be with the rest of the family - sometimes they would take a deep breath and follow me out of the bedroom, which was fine. I gave them a lot of choices - sit ont he bed or in the chair? Lights on or off? Door open or closed? Mom with you or in the other room? I felt that giving them some feeling of control over their environment might help them feel like they could control their emotions as well. I would check on them frequently, cuddle them if they wanted it, and eventually they would come out and carry on without yelling. As time went on and they realized that I would NOT give in to tantrums, they became much les frequent - but it isn't easy to be 100% consistent!

We never ent through a "no" phase with our twins, perhaps because they didn't hear it a lot. We tried to phrase everything in positive statements, such as "sit on your bottom" instead of "No standing on the chair!".

[mom2grrls]

Whatever phase he's in now will pass but then a new one will come on lol

[MeAndVee]

Pumpkin

I love your DS striped hat...tooo cute. And my DS was a pumpkin for halloween too. Adorable

Sunshine

He does run but its when we try and stop him from running by holding his hand that causes the problem. This is when he sits on the ground and refuses to move. At this point we just pick him up and continue walking. My Ergo is my best friend at the market. It is the only way to keep him happy and contained.

Thanx for the reassurance everyone. This too shall pass I guess. He is having a great day. Only threw his pounding bench which is now residing on top of the counter. Other than that an uneventful day!

[flower01]

Originally Posted by nd_deadhead

The rule in our house has always been "Fits don't work". No matter how much a child yelled and screamed, begged and pleaded, once I'd made a decision about something, no tantrum on earth would change my mind. I was (and still am) open to rational negotiation - just not tantrums.

Our kids were certainly allowed to express intense emotion - but not at the dinner table. A screaming kid was carried to the nearest bedroom to cool off. We never set a time limit - they could come out as soon as they felt like they were under control enough to be with the rest of the family - sometimes they would take a deep breath and follow me out of the bedroom, which was fine. I gave them a lot of choices - sit ont he bed or in the chair? Lights on or off? Door open or closed? Mom with you or in the other room? I felt that giving them some feeling of control over their environment might help them feel like they could control their emotions as well. I would check on them frequently, cuddle them if they wanted it, and eventually they would come out and carry on without yelling. As time went on and they realized that I would NOT give in to tantrums, they became much les frequent - but it isn't easy to be 100% consistent!

This is the thing that I'm having trouble figuring out - how to actually deal with the tantrums. It seems like my daughter is completely out of control. Nothing I say or do hcelps or gets through at all. We just had one this morning...and this is what's hard. She's screaming, crying, body flailing all over the place...but she wants me to hold her. Well, it's really hard to hold a flailing, kicking body...so I tell her that I'm going to put her down and if she want's me to hold her she has to stop kicking. She doesn't stop...i put her down...and she runs back to me...screaming hysterically as if I've just abandoned her. We also try to take her to the bedroom and leave to let her cool off...but it's like that doesn't make any sense to her...again, she comes running right out of the room as if we're abandoning her...but, when we pick her up and hold her...she goes back to screaming, kicking, etc. I just don't know what to do I can't physically hold her in this state...