I have a 4 year old DS, who is having a hard time the last month.
DH has been laid off for the past month, this after putting in long hours of work and not home very often, now he is home all the time. DS and DH seem to be having a hard time adjusting to this. DH is much more authoritarian when it comes to DS, and I thinks its the way DH grew up. And while we are a GD house, I'm finding it really hard to address these issues, and it makes me sad to see the change in DS. From my untrained objective eye, what I see is a little boy who wants dads attention. Its hard to get dads attention, so ds will start acting up to get any attention. Which further widens the gap these two have. When dh is around ds seems to forget, how to use the potty properly, how to wipe his nose, how to put his clothes on, how to talk clearly, or just randomly throw tantrums. And I know he is only 4, but these are things he is used to doing, and dh gets irritated.I know these things can just be the age and a phase he's going through, but something tells me its more of a ds and dh issue. I explain to dh that ds must be acting this way to get attention, or to lure dh into helping him. But really I don't know what to think. I try and tell dh what I think might help, or to please read some of my parenting books, he hasn't yet. I'm getting really frustrated with the whole situation here. I wish dh was a little more tender. Also DH grew up in a home that was harder on the boys than girls and I think that is spilling out into our life and I hate it.
ETA: I've been filtering through this forum in a search, and am relieved to see that a lot of his behavior might be normal 4 year old behavior. That dh has been home, its like he is testing dh as they are having constant power struggles.
ETA again: I just ordered Playful Parenting. DH says he will read it.
DH has been laid off for the past month, this after putting in long hours of work and not home very often, now he is home all the time. DS and DH seem to be having a hard time adjusting to this. DH is much more authoritarian when it comes to DS, and I thinks its the way DH grew up. And while we are a GD house, I'm finding it really hard to address these issues, and it makes me sad to see the change in DS. From my untrained objective eye, what I see is a little boy who wants dads attention. Its hard to get dads attention, so ds will start acting up to get any attention. Which further widens the gap these two have. When dh is around ds seems to forget, how to use the potty properly, how to wipe his nose, how to put his clothes on, how to talk clearly, or just randomly throw tantrums. And I know he is only 4, but these are things he is used to doing, and dh gets irritated.I know these things can just be the age and a phase he's going through, but something tells me its more of a ds and dh issue. I explain to dh that ds must be acting this way to get attention, or to lure dh into helping him. But really I don't know what to think. I try and tell dh what I think might help, or to please read some of my parenting books, he hasn't yet. I'm getting really frustrated with the whole situation here. I wish dh was a little more tender. Also DH grew up in a home that was harder on the boys than girls and I think that is spilling out into our life and I hate it.
ETA: I've been filtering through this forum in a search, and am relieved to see that a lot of his behavior might be normal 4 year old behavior. That dh has been home, its like he is testing dh as they are having constant power struggles.
ETA again: I just ordered Playful Parenting. DH says he will read it.
