Help please pregnant in France

[Danny09]

Hello

I am new to this forum and currently 31 weeks pregnant with my third child. I had my first two very naturally in the UK. I have been desperately trying to find a local hospital (Poitier, Angouleme, Niort, Limoges area) where they endorse some kind of natural birthing ethos but to not much avail. I've been told I'm not allowed to consider home birth as to complicate things I have a condition called EDS which although didn't cause any problems in the last two births could mean I hemorrage during labour. I have had terrible pelvic pain (PGP) and found lots of literature written in english on how with this condition it is best to walk around in labour and choose a natural birth where possible, and certainly not to be put in styrups etc, but cannot find any info about this in French on the web. So basically I was wondering whether any of you had experienced a natural birth in around Poitou-Charente, have any of you had PGP and can you direct me to any French websites where I can arm myself with literature about labour. It's a bit ask I know and the due date is fast approaching but any help would be much appreciated.

Thanks

[Marylizah]

I'm in the Paris region, so I can't give you much specific advice. However, I would recommend you get in touch with local LLL groups. They can help you find good hospitals and/or midwives.

Since you are looking online for info in French, I am assuming you speak French...? If so, LLL is definitely the way to go.

Best of luck to you, and keep us posted!

[autumnfairy76]

Hmm, I'm not familiar with your area of France, nor of birth info in french, but perhaps you could find a doula who can help.
Here's a website to search for doulas
http://www.doulas.info/english.php

Good luck!

[ewe+lamb]

Definitely call your local LLL group www.lllfrance.org and look under your departement, I wouldn't let this wait too much longer as it's hard to find a hospital in which you would like your birthing choices respected - certainly where I had my kids the birthing pools were on display but that was it!! So the other thing is look up Baby-Friendly Hospitals - not sure if there are any in your area but worth a try, it's a UNICEF initiative which you'll have heard of seeing as you have had two kids already in the UK, Amis des Bebes, in the 16 department there is Centre Hospitalier de Cognac, does that help any? There are only 7 of these hospitals here in france unfortunately but more and more are getting into the pressure from the women who birth and want this sort of initiative! Anyway i hope that this has helped!

[Danny09]

Thanks for all your replies. I have left a number of messages with the LLL today, hopefully one of them will get back to me tomorrow, there only seems to be one from dept 16 and none from the other three regions in Poitou Charente . Cognac Hospital is about an hour away so that may work I'll give them a call as well tomorrow. In reply to the first post my French is OK, though I have failed to find anything today. I really want to go to a hospital armed with some literature in French that talks about the benefits of not lying down for labour if you have PGP, so if anyone knows of anything written anywhere. Failing that I could get some stuff from the UK translated I guess.

[IsaFrench]

about not lying down during labor ... although a hospital may not be "happy" that you choose not to .... technically, they cannot really force you physically (they just routinely take advantage of the high level of mis-information around, some complacently carried on by midwives when they do they 8 pre birth sessions, who only talk about the ways to give birth that the local hospitals prefer to see ....)

so i would tend to say that it's not so much carrying some papers around to prove that it's more physiological and effective (with all the workers in shifts, who knows how many times you would have to wave it at people who might not even want to look at it ....)

but it's more a question of playing parrot during labor and find a few variation on the same theme; "j 'ai besoin de marcher", "je veux aller aux toilettes toute seule, je ne veux pas la sonde" (a hint given for my second birth by a out of hospital midwife, for forcing them to remove the continuous monitoring in case they showed sign of wanting to leave it on for their convenience ...),"je ne suis pas comfortable couchée" , "j'ai VRAIMENT besoin de marcher", "c'est important pour moi de marcher" .... "j' ai besoin de bouger mon bassin pour aider l'utérus à expulser mon bébé", "je ne PEUX PAS rester couchée une minute de plus " etc ....

+ you can also say that's how it's done where you come from (= they don't know how you birthed the other two ...) / in your family /

can you invest in your own birthing ball ? (maybe second hand from another mother from a LLL group ?) some hospital have them (I used one A LOT for my second birth, I was doing rythmic chanting as well & a previously unknown midwife-working that shift- had offered accupuncture on my lower back at some stage .... you should have seen the face of the gynecologist on duty when he came in to have a look, like he had no idea what could happen inthe hospital he was working with, with the full support of the midwife on duty that day .... plus I complained to him about his breaking my concentration and not respecting privacy since there was no emergency ...)

so some hospital may have birthing balls and birthing stools ... but hardly anyone might know or request to use them ....

conclusion = it's not because something is not routinely done that you can't do it yourself .....

one thing I found useful actually for that second birth was a book in english I was lent by a friend that had LOADS of drawings of different positions possible for labor and giving birth .... some of the staff were actually rather curious to have a look (= makes you feel less like a freak for not doing what they routinely do & shows other people do it too, so it's OK , but in picture, so easier read than long printed texts ....)

with so many foreign mothers now in France, you'll probably won't be the first one in whatever hospital you end up going who requests something different ...
go for it, it's YOUR birthing experience, your body so unless there's a serious emergency at some point, you are likely to be able to "customise"your experience quite a bit depending on your own preferences

good luck in finding what you wish for, I'm not at all in your area but I'll be crossing my fingers for you that you get what you want (= took me three births to get there too !!!)

[Marylizah]

Originally Posted by IsaFrench

about not lying down during labor ... although a hospital may not be "happy" that you choose not to .... technically, they cannot really force you physically (they just routinely take advantage of the high level of mis-information around, some complacently carried on by midwives when they do they 8 pre birth sessions, who only talk about the ways to give birth that the local hospitals prefer to see ....)

so i would tend to say that it's not so much carrying some papers around to prove that it's more physiological and effective (with all the workers in shifts, who knows how many times you would have to wave it at people who might not even want to look at it ....)

but it's more a question of playing parrot during labor and find a few variation on the same theme; "j 'ai besoin de marcher", "je veux aller aux toilettes toute seule, je ne veux pas la sonde" (a hint given for my second birth by a out of hospital midwife, for forcing them to remove the continuous monitoring in case they showed sign of wanting to leave it on for their convenience ...),"je ne suis pas comfortable couchée" , "j'ai VRAIMENT besoin de marcher", "c'est important pour moi de marcher" .... "j' ai besoin de bouger mon bassin pour aider l'utérus à expulser mon bébé", "je ne PEUX PAS rester couchée une minute de plus " etc ....

+ you can also say that's how it's done where you come from (= they don't know how you birthed the other two ...) / in your family /

can you invest in your own birthing ball ? (maybe second hand from another mother from a LLL group ?) some hospital have them (I used one A LOT for my second birth, I was doing rythmic chanting as well & a previously unknown midwife-working that shift- had offered accupuncture on my lower back at some stage .... you should have seen the face of the gynecologist on duty when he came in to have a look, like he had no idea what could happen inthe hospital he was working with, with the full support of the midwife on duty that day .... plus I complained to him about his breaking my concentration and not respecting privacy since there was no emergency ...)

so some hospital may have birthing balls and birthing stools ... but hardly anyone might know or request to use them ....

conclusion = it's not because something is not routinely done that you can't do it yourself .....

one thing I found useful actually for that second birth was a book in english I was lent by a friend that had LOADS of drawings of different positions possible for labor and giving birth .... some of the staff were actually rather curious to have a look (= makes you feel less like a freak for not doing what they routinely do & shows other people do it too, so it's OK , but in picture, so easier read than long printed texts ....)

with so many foreign mothers now in France, you'll probably won't be the first one in whatever hospital you end up going who requests something different ...
go for it, it's YOUR birthing experience, your body so unless there's a serious emergency at some point, you are likely to be able to "customise"your experience quite a bit depending on your own preferences

good luck in finding what you wish for, I'm not at all in your area but I'll be crossing my fingers for you that you get what you want (= took me three births to get there too !!!)

This is a GREAT post. So true. I don't think they (hospitals and midwives) *want* to make it miserable for anyone but they just don't know anything different. If you insist (and have your partner or a doula there as back up) I think you can have the kind of birth you want. Good luck.

[Danny09]

Just wanted to let you know, visited Cognac hospital a few days ago and it was great- completetly different attitude from all the others I've seen. Pictures of breastfeeding women everywhere. The other half and kids can stay with me if I like. I can go home after a day if I can find an independent midwife to support me. (Though it looks quite nice so I may stay in for a few days!) I can choose/change my position. Only thing to try and sort out is baby is transverse- only just 32 weeks though so I guess he has time to turn. Have been doing exercises from Spinningbabies.com and will be having some accupunture next week so hopefully that will work, they'd already booked me in for a inversion thing at 35 weeks seems early, but now I've finally decided on hospital I'll get this appointment delayed. Cognac said they wouldn't attempt this until 37-38 weeks.
Anyway thanks again- I'll try and update after birth in case anyone is ever in the same position as me in this area.

[IsaFrench]

glad to hear you found something more in your line of thinking.
yes, please let us know how it goes for you when the times come ....

[ewe+lamb]

How wonderful for you - such a relief I would imagine. I'm delighted that you're able to get into one of the seven hospitals like this in France - we just have to keep the pressure up so that more and more hospitals see the light as it were. Good for you - let us know how you get on - it's good to have a list of decent hospitals on hand. :

[Danny09]

Hello

Well only a year and a half later but thought I should let you know how I got on a Cognac last year just in case anyone is in a simialr situation. After a second visit to Cognac I was told that because I have EDS and could possibly haemorrage I needed to go to Angouleme hospital to deliver as Cognac is small and didn't have a 'proper' blood bank. The head of department was going to confirm this to me but never did so whilst in labour and on my way to Angouleme I insisted my other half continue down the moterway to Cognac- probably a bit reckless but I was adamant I didn't want the baby in Angouleme!

When we arrived we were told that we shouldn't be there but because I had a history of fast labours there was no time to transfer me to Angouleme. They examined me and at 5cm tottered off to get the 'salle de pretravail' ready! Tbh they had me lying down hooked up to the monitor and weren't too happy about me being up and about (despite all their claims that I could do as I felt!) Anyway when the midwife left the room I saw my chance and stood up- far more comfortable!

My waters broke a few moments later and almost immediately ds number two was born- by my husband as the midwife was still out the room getting the other room ready.

We spent a few minutes alone with him, I got back on the bed untanglng myself from the monitor, tens machine and umbilical cord and ds started to breastfeed. My other half the left the room to go and find a midwife- brilliant!

So I ended up with my natural birth after all but by default not sure it would have been like this if the midwifes had been in the room!

To be fair though the aftercare was amazing- small hospital, own room, caring and supportive staff, the obstrician was brilliant and very relaxed. Had four nights in there in the end which was a lovely rest. Anyway good luck to anyone giving birth in France and if you want more info on my experience of visiting local hositals etc pls email. Thanks

[IsaFrench]

glad to hear about it ... and happy for you that it went as you described !

... had something similar happen to me for baby number 3 ( the baby came in two contractions as I was standing in the restroom of my private room and had just sent my husband to go after the nurse to ask a question for me ...)

AND a few weeks afterwards I read on the internet a text by Michel Odent (a French OB who's worked in the UK for 30 years or more) which described an "ideal" physiological birth where the mother is left alone in her" bubble" , to concentrate on herself (totally what happened when I retreated to the bathroom for the umpteenth time that evening although I had no idea the baby would come so fast but I DID send DH away, he's a bit sad about it having just gone for a coffee for about 20 minutes when baby number 2 decided to suddently come out too ... so he missed the last moments of the last 2 births in fact ...)

in conclusion, I do think that our type of experience with limited people around us (and only people we know) ... are very rewarding birth experience ... as well as "normal" ... in spite of not being frequent in our times & where we live !