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PP Weekly Thread 5/10-5/16 - Page 7

post #121 of 158
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShineliketheSon View Post
The one thing I figured out is that the nurse's rude comments toward me when we got there is what set the mood for the rest of the birth for me. I wish after those comments I had asked for another nurse. There was just this uncomfortableness in the room throughout the whole birth even though she didn't do much as my midwife and doula were there, it shouldn't have been like that. Doula said she should have asked me if I wanted another nurse, but she didn't know I was that upset about it, which is true as I didn't verbalize that as the nurse was right there all the time.
I missed this, what did the nurse say? One of the nurses that came into my room was somewhat rude I thought... she chastized me for not handling my pain properly ... the nurse that actually was with me the entire birth was fabuous. I do not know who this nurse was or why she had stopped in - she was there only a few minutes as far as I remember. She was older... I hate to be ageist but I have my biggest problems it sems with the older nurses - I find them to be so _____. They seem to always to be lacking in compassion, and so rigid and just jaded, I guess. Anyway, I keep thinking about that nurse - which is silly, but the way she made me feel ... it just still bothers me! It was in the beginning as well. Also the nurse was probably right but she could have said what she did in much more empathetic and constructive manner - I mean I was in so much pain!
post #122 of 158
Quote:
Originally Posted by nancy11 View Post
Hah! I use a portable PC with a touchscreen and it usually does pretty well with my handwriting. Or, at least, I notice errors and fix them...

Fail.
Tail?

Tried the bottle again this morning and still a no-go. Unfortunately I now have to throw away 4 oz of milk . There is a part of me that that is glad she doesn't like the bottle ...it's hard to see someone else feeding her, even dh.
post #123 of 158

Anyone else scared to have sex ? or having issues re sex?

Okay, this may be TMI but I need to discuss this with some people who really know where I am coming from and I am sure some of you on here have some immediate idea! First of all, this is my second son but my first vaginal birth and I am a bit scared to have sex now... Even though my ob/gyn says everythign looks great down there (and it's been over seven weeks now)! I am nervous. Plus I have not not had vaginal intercourse since like my 6 or 7 month in pregnancy (just got too big for it to be comfortable) we had to get uh ... a little creative. So this would be the first time in a while I will be intercourse in my favorite position (missionary - yeah, I am boring but it really is my favorite position, you can't mess with a classic LOL) and I am excited about that. That being said, I am scared of pain and I would like it to be somewhat special - I would like DH to go slow and well put some seduction effort into it... He's been 'naging' me about it which isn't at all seductive and just makes me feel like yet another demand is being made on me and my body. I mean, carve out some time for us, get a bottle of wine and light a few candles or something, buddy! How hard is that really? I mean I think I would really appreciate the effort at least ... But what does he do? He nags me for what feels to me like a quickie while DS1 is watching TV... PLUS, now I am sick and DH says he cannot kiss me b/c he doesnt want to get sick. I am sorry, but now I am suppose to have sex for the first time in ages, after a 1st vaginal birth with someone who will not even kiss me??? I basically told him he'd better start putting some effort into seduction or he'll be waiting a long time more! Am I wrong? I feel guilty 'cause he is a great guy really. Am I making it too big of a deal?
post #124 of 158
Quote:
Originally Posted by bodhitree View Post
Well, our pediatrician called with the results of River's hip ultrasound. Apparently the specialist who looked at the ultrasound pics thinks they look "slightly abnormal" and wants River to wear a harness that will hopefully fix the problem. My poor little baby! I feel so bad that she has all these medical issues and has to go to specialists all the time, has to take medicine for her heart (that she hates taking BTW), and now will have to wear a harness all the time.
I'm sorry to hear that! In case its any consolation... my son's friend wore the harness for several months- he got it put on before he even went home from the hospital- and he is totally fine now, hips totally normal (and his hips were totally abnormal from an unusual breech position in utero). He also wore the helmet to shape his head for the first year. He looked funny but really it bothered adults and he didn't mind it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by wobblykate View Post
Tail?

Tried the bottle again this morning and still a no-go. Unfortunately I now have to throw away 4 oz of milk . There is a part of me that that is glad she doesn't like the bottle ...it's hard to see someone else feeding her, even dh.
ugh, sorry. I know what you mean about having mixed feeling about the bottle. My son was like that (refused bottles) and I am hoping Phoebe is different. It made it so hard to do anything away from the baby, and I am a full-time grad student. He used to just wait for me to get back- hours and hours. And I ended up throwing away SO MUCH milk which felt like such a waste. (I wasn't connected at the time to the sort of social networks where I could have given it to someone else. Now I know how to channel it to babies that need it). I'll be teaching once a week and doing fieldwork/research next fall so I really hope we can do a few bottles a week.
post #125 of 158
Quote:
Originally Posted by wobblykate View Post

Tried the bottle again this morning and still a no-go. Unfortunately I now have to throw away 4 oz of milk . There is a part of me that that is glad she doesn't like the bottle ...it's hard to see someone else feeding her, even dh.
A friend was mailing me her medula double breast pump, but I havn't bought the new parts for it as I seriously don't want to pump. We tried a bit with DD1 so DH could feed occasional but she didn't like it so we gave up after a week of frustration. Before baby was born DH said he'd like to try that again but I think he'll be okay if I don't...especially since it means buying more things. I look at feeding as my job, it's why I have all the equipment. Hopefully my friend forgot to mail it or I'll get it while he's at work and hide it in the basement somewhere!

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryTheres View Post
I missed this, what did the nurse say? One of the nurses that came into my room was somewhat rude I thought... she chastized me for not handling my pain properly ... the nurse that actually was with me the entire birth was fabuous. I do not know who this nurse was or why she had stopped in - she was there only a few minutes as far as I remember. She was older... I hate to be ageist but I have my biggest problems it sems with the older nurses - I find them to be so _____. They seem to always to be lacking in compassion, and so rigid and just jaded, I guess. Anyway, I keep thinking about that nurse - which is silly, but the way she made me feel ... it just still bothers me! It was in the beginning as well. Also the nurse was probably right but she could have said what she did in much more empathetic and constructive manner - I mean I was in so much pain!

Mary: Sorry about your rude nurse! Though I am glad to see I"m not the only one who had one and also not the only one having a hard time letting it go.

I was GBS+ and I knew the hospital/MW wanted me there when my water broke. But I also knew I wasn't going to pump my and babies bodies full of needless antibiotics just for their routine procedure. So my water broke at 5:30 and I didn't start contractions till 11:30. I got to the hospital and got the one dose in before DD2 was born (though it wasn't at there preffered 4 hour before birth time). Anyway, the nurse asked when my water broke and when I told her she said " You should have came in right away". I knew what I was doing, and my MW knew I wouldn't be in till I was ready. It was really annoying...then I said I want a hep lock so I can be free right after antibitoics. The nurse said "you'll have to be on fluids the entire time". I said "I have things written in my birth plan and my MW agreed to them, I'm not doing anything if I can't have a hep lock." She said very rudley "I"m not going to argue with you." Even if I said it a bit harshly...I have a right...I"m a laboring women in pain and not really with it...she should have had some compassion. Then I had tears and just looked at DH and asked when the MW and doula were coming. All that nurse had to do was kindly say, "let's do what we need to right now and then we'll figure it all out when your MW comes". She would have gotten her job done and I would have been at peace with that. I did end up having to have the fluids the entire time but not due to routine, MW felt I needed it due to my high temp. Sooooo I'm really trying hard to let it go, especially now that I know this is just how this nurse is. Maybe I need to pray for her, she may need to find another career! She is probably in her mid twenties.
post #126 of 158
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryTheres View Post
I basically told him he'd better start putting some effort into seduction or he'll be waiting a long time more! Am I wrong? I feel guilty 'cause he is a great guy really. Am I making it too big of a deal?
I am right with you, I know what you mean about just feeling like there are too many demands being made on your body! You should ask for what you need/want and insist, and your husband just needs to get with the program. (and really, I sympathize... the nagging has just started here and I am only 2 1/2 weeks PP, though last night DH did rub my back and just hug me for a while and didn't make a big fuss about me just wanting to go to sleep... in our house this always comes up at like 11 a night when I have FINALLY just gotten to fall into an exhausted sleep). It probably won't hurt (esp if you can take it slow) but I think we can all be understandably nervous in the aftermath of birth and the healing, and our partners should take that into account despite their eagerness to get on with things.
post #127 of 158
Quote:
Originally Posted by emmaegbert View Post
last night DH did rub my back and just hug me for a while and didn't make a big fuss about me just wanting to go to sleep
They have no idea how important this is do sometimes.... just be affectionate without it having to lead to sex! That's nice, I am glad he did that!
post #128 of 158
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryTheres View Post
They have no idea how important this is do sometimes.... just be affectionate without it having to lead to sex! That's nice, I am glad he did that!
I agree with you Mary. I can especially relate to your fears about having sex for the first time after a vaginal birth. Its very important that your dh shows the affection prior to intercourse because thats what will arouse you into the mood. Without arousal, it can be painful. Its like a man trying to dtd without an erection. If you attempt this without vaginal lubricant, you may experience pain.

On the bright side, with adaquit moistuer intercourse after a vaginal delivery (given that you didn't tear or recieve an episiotomy) is easier, less painful than having sex with a pre-vaginal delivery vagina. Hope I'm making sense here.
post #129 of 158
I went out to dinner with my ILs last night (Chilis so it wasn't fancy or anything) and took DS with us. I had given him a bit of milk in the car on the way in a bottle (I pumped some earlier) but he got hungry again when we were there. I was wearing my nursing bra and a v-neck tank top.

Now, my ILs aren't as comfortable with NIP as my parents...or as I am. So, I'm fussing with a blanket trying to discreetly pull my top down. I'm still a bit "green" on nursing at times so it can take a second for us to get a good latch. I put the blanket over us and DS FREAKED OUT. His screaming got louder and he started swiping at the blanket to get it off. Thankfully we got a good latch and I was able to pull it off. All that's showing at this point is the top part of my breast...same that was showing in just the tank top. (it was relatively low cut) At some point in the conversation FIL goes, "Well, he's going to have to get used to being covered up." Ugh, why?

I told DH about it later and he had the same basic response. He said, "Why? I don't see any problem with nursing in public." I laughed and said, "I'll ask when I'm in a private setting (like someone's house)...but in a restaurant where everyone should be minding their own business ANYWAY I have no problem."

FIL also said something like, "It's okay to let them cry a little." I was like, "Excuse me?" and he said, "You can't go running everytime he whimpers or he'll expect it." I said, "So? Emotions are needs too." (thank you to whichever MDC'er said that!) Thankfully MIL goes, "Mine turned out fine..." and I said, "We don't do CIO. I never had to and I see no reason for him to."

I've also gotten several comments from MIL about being a pacifier. And comments from both of them about giving him one of my fingers to suck on when he's upset ("Why don't you just give him a pacifier?")




I'm also a bit nervous about having sex after birth...I had a second degree tear. Of course, I don't even have to think about it for another 3.5 weeks...but I'm still nervous.
post #130 of 158
I've always hated pumping and have never really bothered. I need to break out the pump with this one though, I'm dreading it, I'd much rather just nurse then pump. I have a few things I have to plan for and it would be mush easier to make them work if Julian takes a bottle. Pumping is on my to-do list this weekend, maybe tomorrow.


No talk of DTD yet in this house and won't be until I'm completely ready. We can never do it before the last half of my pg because of varicosities so after baby is born, DH is always really ready. We slowly resumed after DD1, but after DD2 I felt pressured into DTD much sooner then I was ready and it ended up affecting our sex life for quite some time. I won't do that again.
post #131 of 158
DTD - well stopped bleeding a bit ago and we've already done that - i heal fast and we get back to dtd fast...we are both SO ready for it! I would have sooner but was still bleeding - I guess i'm in a group of my own over here!

Grrr I hate the comments you get on how to parent your children. NIP - pleaase people that's what boobs were made for. I hate people thinking it ok to show almost all the boobs for man's enjoyment, but them not liking even less showing to NIP. Grrrrr I've never had a comment on nursing in public but would totally go off if someone tried - i guess they just know not to go there with me.

Though currently ds is hard to latch and i'm exposed for quite a timeNIP, so for my own self I use a blanket to get him latched then move the shirt to cover any exposed areola section. I envy women with small areola's, would be much easier NIP with them
post #132 of 158
Quote:
Originally Posted by Murph12334 View Post
Grrr I hate the comments you get on how to parent your children. NIP - pleaase people that's what boobs were made for. I hate people thinking it ok to show almost all the boobs for man's enjoyment, but them not liking even less showing to NIP. Grrrrr I've never had a comment on nursing in public but would totally go off if someone tried - i guess they just know not to go there with me.

Though currently ds is hard to latch and i'm exposed for quite a timeNIP, so for my own self I use a blanket to get him latched then move the shirt to cover any exposed areola section. I envy women with small areola's, would be much easier NIP with them
Exactly! The tank top I was wearing exposed as much as NIP did. (well, close enough anyway) THAT wasn't a big deal but the baby attached made it awkward? I don't get it.

And I'm with you on wishing my areolas were smaller...mine are HUGE so there's always something showing.
post #133 of 158
Quote:
Originally Posted by Murph12334 View Post
DTD - well stopped bleeding a bit ago and we've already done that - i heal fast and we get back to dtd fast...we are both SO ready for it! I would have sooner but was still bleeding - I guess i'm in a group of my own over here!
See, that's the club I wanna join... but I just. keep. bleeeeeding.

I agree with the sentiments on NIP. I hope when our kids are parents, this isn't even something they have to worry about anymore.

Still haven't solved the mystery of LO's tummy discomfort, although the total elimination diet has made a bit of a difference. Today there was blood in one of his BMs though, after 8 days on the diet. Looking in to foremilk/hindmilk imbalance, but I don't think that's our problem... I hope you have better luck with this, AFWife.
post #134 of 158
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sasharna View Post

Still haven't solved the mystery of LO's tummy discomfort, although the total elimination diet has made a bit of a difference. Today there was blood in one of his BMs though, after 8 days on the diet. Looking in to foremilk/hindmilk imbalance, but I don't think that's our problem... I hope you have better luck with this, AFWife.
We haven't had blood in any BMs...just lots of crying/screaming and constant nursing (mostly for comfort I think) and several large farts. I'm on day 2 of zero dairy and he seems to have had a better day...I think we're growing again, though.
post #135 of 158
Quote:
Originally Posted by wobblykate View Post
Tail?

Tried the bottle again this morning and still a no-go. Unfortunately I now have to throw away 4 oz of milk . There is a part of me that that is glad she doesn't like the bottle ...it's hard to see someone else feeding her, even dh.
this might sound gross, but i dumped the 4 oz of milk that was going to go to waste when i tried to bottle feed dd into some chocolate milk and gave it to my older dd. LOL. i couldn't throw it out!
post #136 of 158
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sasharna View Post
See, that's the club I wanna join... but I just. keep. bleeeeeding.

I agree with the sentiments on NIP. I hope when our kids are parents, this isn't even something they have to worry about anymore.

Still haven't solved the mystery of LO's tummy discomfort, although the total elimination diet has made a bit of a difference. Today there was blood in one of his BMs though, after 8 days on the diet. Looking in to foremilk/hindmilk imbalance, but I don't think that's our problem... I hope you have better luck with this, AFWife.
It can take 2-3 weeks for the allergens to clear your body and his so after 8 days having reactions to an allergen that is lingering around still is a possibility. I battled allergies in DD1, it took years to figure them all out so I remember that elim diet painfully well!
post #137 of 158
Murph- you are not alone in the DTD club- I am there w/you!

Hey ladies- We are up to 7 pages on the weekly thread! Maybe its time to start a daily thread or every few days thread! It can be really hard to catch up on here! We have always been a chatty group and I've seen since babes have been born we have more "lukers" chiming in now, so we're even bigger!:

What your ops?
post #138 of 158
Thanks, everyone, for the kind words and reassurance about River's hip harness thing. It's comforting to hear that it doesn't usually bother babies. I have so many questions to ask the doc tomorrow morning about how it will affect bfing, babywearing, and how we hold her and dress her. I'm sure it will be okay, and I'm glad that the chances are good we can get this fixed now instead of letting it potentially turn into a lifelong disability. But from now on, whenever anyone tells us, "We have to check your baby for X, there's only a 2% chance that she has it but we're just checking as a precaution," I will assume she probably has X, because that's what keeps happening.

On DTD, I'm rarin' to go (hoping to get the go-ahead at my 6 week appt on Friday), but DH seems not to care one way or the other. I've mentioned a couple times that I'm looking forward to it, but have gotten no response. I don't know what that means, but at least he's not pressuring me, so I guess that's good?

Last night River kept asking to nurse, then nursing for a couple minutes and stopping. Finally I thought that maybe she wasn't getting any milk, so I tried pumping to see what I could get. I pumped for 10 minutes and only got 1/2 oz total from both sides, so she definitely wasn't getting much. I started getting upset because I wasn't making enough milk for her and she was looking at me like, "Are those things broken? What's wrong?" Then I remembered what Nancy said a few weeks ago about how she figured out she wasn't making much milk because she wasn't drinking enough water. (Thanks, Nancy!) And I realized I hadn't had much water and had spent quite a bit of time in the sun in the desert during the afternoon. I drank like 64 ounces of water in the next hour, and sure enough, next time River nursed she got lots of milk and was much happier. : Seriously, what would I do without MDC and you wonderful mamas? Life would be a lot harder.
post #139 of 158
Bodhitree, I am sorry that medically, things have been challenging for your little girl. My cousin's little girl also had the hip harness and it worked very well, wasn't too hard to deal with and she is a very athletic and happy 7 year old now. I will pray that all of this gets easier for you and that her time with the harness is short.

To MaryTheres and others with DTD issues: I had 2 vaginal births, both with 4th degree tearsand I have a few tips to make the DTD scene a little smoother: definitely taking the time to have a glass of wine and some closeness without pressure helps. Olive oil is the best for dryness b/c it never dries out like commercial lubes, it has only one ingredient & no parabens like comm. lubes. It also has lineolic acid which keeps yeast from multiplying! Anyway, olive oil & a glass of wine can make a big difference.
post #140 of 158
Quote:
Originally Posted by fairymom View Post
Hey ladies- We are up to 7 pages on the weekly thread! Maybe its time to start a daily thread or every few days thread! It can be really hard to catch up on here! We have always been a chatty group and I've seen since babes have been born we have more "lukers" chiming in now, so we're even bigger!:

What your ops?
sounds good!


Quote:
Originally Posted by bodhitree View Post
On DTD, I'm rarin' to go (hoping to get the go-ahead at my 6 week appt on Friday), but DH seems not to care one way or the other.
Your lucky...I'm only 3 weeks PP and my DH won't leave me alone!!!! I have no desire yet and can't anyway.

Quote:
Originally Posted by liseux View Post

Olive oil is the best for dryness b/c it never dries out like commercial lubes, it has only one ingredient & no parabens like comm. lubes. It also has lineolic acid which keeps yeast from multiplying! Anyway, olive oil & a glass of wine can make a big difference.
I use organic expeller pressed coconut oil and Love it! It keeps yeast away as well. Olive oil just didn't work for us, just another idea to try!
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