Just had a mama tantrum

[Pumpkin_Pie]

DS has been driving me absolutely insane today. I realize he is only 2, and I am a single mama with no breaks, but I just can't cope today.

He woke up at 4:30 with the "Snuggles mama" request that he usually has and then the moment I touched him, he squirmed away screaming, "NO SNUGGLES" so I took my hand away and he again screamed "SNUGGLES!!!!". Repeat until around 7am with a teeny break of about a half hour for both of us falling asleep from exhaustion.

We got up and he has been doing the "I want it" "I don't want it" for ever.single.freaking.little.thing this morning. I was ready to throw a yogurt at him by about 7:30 when he pushed it away and said, "all done", and when I took it away screamed for "MORE YOGURT" so I put it back down and he nearly threw it back at me.

He has also been velcro boy all morning and when he asked for the millionth time if he could nurse, I finally said "No more right now" and he lost it, and then so did I. :

We both ended up screaming and crying for a good half hour. I even called the child abuse prevention hotline to see if I could just talk to someone, anyone, and I ended up yelling into the phone "PLEASE, I NEED HELP!!!" and gave them my name and phone number. I guess I shouldn't have yelled, as they didn't call back. I tried a bunch of friends, but noone is home right now, and half of my mama friend are scared of DS right now, because I intentionally exposed him to chicken pox 2.5 weeks ago and even though he doesn't have any symptoms, we are not in the clear yet, so I can't even go see most of my friends.

Please mamas, I am so at my wits end. I am seriously ready to throw in the towel and walk out of the house and leave him screaming. I need a break desperately and have no resources I can call on today.

[ebbybaby]

Would you like me to call you?? I'd love to have a mommy to mommy talk, I have a 17 month old and a 5 month old, and I have mama tantrums here and there, private me if you would like to give me your phone number and chat, I don't mind the long distance.

[mommariffic]

Get out of the house!

When I'm feeling really stressed/on the verge of loosing it, I go outside. I go to the diner and eat breakfast because sometimes being in public is so much better than being alone. I go to the woods and take a few breaths and let Paige explore while I have a coffee to go.

I think when you're feeling nuts, it's time to get out.

And, do you have anyone who can be a mothers helper a few hours a week to give you a break? What about a babysitting co-op?

[LynnS6]

My bet? He's getting sick. My kids were like this when they were coming down with something.

I second getting out of the house.

Other ideas:
Turn on the TV for 30 minutes, while you sit on the couch with a cup of tea.
Do you have a safe place for him to be for 5 minutes while you "go to the bathroom"? some days my kids wonder why I spend so much time in the bathroom , and I've got a partner at home!

[mama_mojo]

Does it help to know you're not the only one to do this? Like the time I had been so patiently trying to get my children out of a bad playdate while my middle child was having a tantrum about leaving, and I was SOOOO sweet and understanding and determined and I got everyone very gently and sweetly into the car and she headbutted me as I was buckling her and I threw her coat on the ground and jumped up and down on it with the people from the playgroup watching...

You're not alone. Get some sleep. Get out of the house. Go sit in a bookstore that has a coffee shop. Get a nice drink/treat you enjoy and go sit in the park. Go crash at a friend's house. Take a walk with DC confined in a stroller or go child pace and slow down and savor spring.

I hope you are already feeling better.

[chfriend]

betcha you've got pox a'coming!

Pretend he's sick. Do all the stuff you do for him and yourself when he is sick.

Hoping for spots!

[AngelBee]

[Pumpkin_Pie]

I ended up getting us out of the house and dropped him off at a friends who is not worried about CP. She actually took him at around 12:30 and is keeping him until around 8pm tonight. THANK. GOD. I so needed a mama break.

I went to the bookstore and bought myself a new book, had a cup of iced coffee and sat on the floor of the bookstore reading for an hour or so. Then I ran a couple of errands that are a zillion times easier without DS and came home and am now eating a very healthy lunch and then plan to take a nap and go to a yoga class tonight before picking him up.

I just got off the phone with the friend who has him, and he is doing great. I am so thankful for good friends in times like this. We haven't had a really bad day in so long, and this one was a big one. I am definitely feeling better already. Thanks for the good tips and kind words mamas.

[Pumpkin_Pie]

Originally Posted by chfriend

betcha you've got pox a'coming!

Pretend he's sick. Do all the stuff you do for him and yourself when he is sick.

Hoping for spots!

Thanks, I am hoping so too, but am starting to doubt that he actually caught it. I honestly can't wait for Friday so our 3 week contagious window closes and we know for sure and can start playing with all of friends again.

[tanyam926]

My kids always act like that when they are getting sick and since they aren't sick yet I don't connect it so I lack the extra sympathy and understanding I have for them when they are sick.

I also have to get out of the house on those kinds of days, even if all the kids are w/me, I just have to change our surroundings to feel better.

I'm glad you're getting a break mama! Enjoy it!

[lindamama]

I hope you already feel a lot better! Ashamed to say so, but I sometimes have mama-tantrums too! Especially on days like this: husband is away for a long working day, then late at home in the evening because of sports... And tomorrow the same! Yesterday, at mother's day, he had to go working too (Sunday) and Saturday he was away from 9 till 7 pm because of sports. It was me who had to take care of the children for long hours ;-)

Because here, in the Netherlands, almost every mother works (and my friends who don't work don't live in the neighbourhood), it is hard to spontaneously 'drop' the children with them for a couple of hours. My eldest son goes to pre-school, but the last two weeks he had holidays. Yes, sometimes it is difficult to keep calm when you don't have any more energy to see things clearly. Then I put on the telly or I call a friend. Or we go out, that usually does the trick.

Before last December, I could always call my mother to come over. But since we don't have any contact anymore with my parents since then, it is not a possibility anymore...

Good luck and take care!

[Pumpkin_Pie]

You know, this thread is great. I need to make a list of things I can do with him when the going gets rough. DVD, send him to a friend's house, break out the water play in the sink, etc. Maybe I will do that now and post it on the fridge so I am ready next time the 2 year old crazies come up against a touched out mama.

[TinyMama]

Add this one to your list: shredding newspaper. For both of you.

[windorabug]

I have been there soooo many times. It is really hard not having anyone to hand them off to RIGHT NOW. When my dd gets like that & I act badly, almost always there is a reason that becomes apparent after I freak out. Like a new tooth, an earache, a stomach bug, you name it.
I often feel really alone and without a net being a single mom even though I have great friends who are always willing to help out.
My only piece of advice is that when we are having one of those days we go out - to a play place or a walk in the woods and I let her lead 100% - the change in venue & my letting go (of my idea of control and/or power) almost always works for us.
I wish you the best & a big huge to you!

[Leilamus]

I'm so glad you were able to get a break and that you have such an awesome friend nearby!!! Hope tomorrow is easier for both of you!

[Snuzzmom]

I have nothing but respect for you single mamas. Good for you, OP, calling the hotline! Hang in there.

[ewe+lamb]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

My bet? He's getting sick. My kids were like this when they were coming down with something.

I second getting out of the house.

Other ideas:
Turn on the TV for 30 minutes, while you sit on the couch with a cup of tea.
Do you have a safe place for him to be for 5 minutes while you "go to the bathroom"? some days my kids wonder why I spend so much time in the bathroom , and I've got a partner at home!

:

[Hokulele]

Oh mama -

I actually am crying reading your original post because I have SO been there. And I'm not even a single mom. You are supermommy, you really are.

I am SO glad your friend took your DS for the rest of the day. What a great friend. And your idea to post activities on the fridge is a good one. I have just this week put together a box of easy projects for emergency purposes. So when DD is driving me crazy and I'm busy with the baby, I can take something from the box for her to do - they all require little to no set-up from me. I know he's still little but I wonder if you could find stuff like that to keep available for your son?

Some days we do resort to staying in our pjs, TV on, lots of tea for me... sometimes it just is too much for me to try to be resourceful and/or get us out.

I hope yesterday and today went much more smoothly.

[readytobedone]

Originally Posted by Pumpkin_Pie

He woke up at 4:30 with the "Snuggles mama" request that he usually has and then the moment I touched him, he squirmed away screaming, "NO SNUGGLES" so I took my hand away and he again screamed "SNUGGLES!!!!". Repeat until around 7am with a teeny break of about a half hour for both of us falling asleep from exhaustion.

We got up and he has been doing the "I want it" "I don't want it" for ever.single.freaking.little.thing this morning. I was ready to throw a yogurt at him by about 7:30 when he pushed it away and said, "all done", and when I took it away screamed for "MORE YOGURT" so I put it back down and he nearly threw it back at me.

ugh, i hate this! is this a common 2 year old thing?! my DD has been doing the EXACT same thing (cheese! no cheese! milk! no milk! blanky! no blanky!). i can definitely relate to your frustrations with this. when you're doing the best to meet your child's needs, and they're acting like they need an exorcism, it is NOT encouraging.

i think you were right to call the hotline, and it sucks they didn't call you back :

definitely don't leave him alone. but it is okay to put him in a safe room, go to another part of the house, and take a break from each other. he might even like that.

or you can do what i just did when DD wouldn't nap (after i yelled at her really loud )--we went out for a stroller walk. at least that way, i didn't have to entertain her, we both got some exercise, and no one was screaming.

[Climbergirl]

Is it possible he actually has pox but no spots? My husband only had one pox during his chicken pox.