Babysitters

[Jennifer3141]

So, my kids have had a two year relationship with this marvelous college girl. She was AMAZING with the kids and they love her.

But she's 21 now and getting flaky on me. She's coming late and not calling. Or she doesn't show up period. She has a "real" job in a vet's office where they don't treat/pay her well but she dreams of being a veterinarian someday and I get that it provides her with good background, much more than babysitting my kids. Since I pay her cash, I pay her about 3 times what she makes in the vet's office so we used to be more of a priority to her.

So I posted to the local college where I found her all those years ago and I've had one response so far - from a parent of a 9th grader.

Is anyone else uncomfortable with a highschooler watching their kids? Am I nuts? I babysat when I was in junior/senior high and I think I did a good job but it freaks me out to think of a kid watching my kids.

I really, really liked that L was so stable and trustworthy. I even felt perfectly safe giving her my car to take the kids to her farm and back. The idea of turning my children over to a kid scares me and I'm also dealing with some grief at letting L go anyway, which is probably clouding my judgment.

I need someone for 3-4 hours every Friday afternoon so I can blitz clean the house a bit. Plus, we'd like someone to babysit while we go out to dinner a few times a month and while I go to appointments when DH is at work.

We can always keep L on as backup. But what do you all do about high schoolers babysitting?

[steelmagnolia9]

I honestly think it depends on the person. I am the second of 6 children, so when I started babysitting at 14, I already had a lot of experience with kids, and like you, think I was pretty good at it. I would set up an interview with this kid and see what she's like. She may be very mature and responsible.

[dimibella]

For the most part I am not really comfortable with it either. If it was a family member or someone that I knew really well, like a kid that'd I'd known since they were little and I felt they were responsible then maaaybe. But I'd like them to be at the very least 16 or 17. Like you I babysat from about 13yo on and even though I was very responsible and took care of most of those kids until I was 17 or 18, I still look back and can't believe that people left their kids with me at 13 Good luck in finding someone else mama.

[Apple Girl]

I wouldn't normally feel comfortable with a 9th grader watching my kids - but I was fairly irresponsible in 9th grade. Although, you say you need the sitter one afternoon a week so you can get cleaning done - I'm assuming you're home during this time? In that situation, I would probably feel comfortable. The sitter then basically is playing with/watching the kids, which a 9th grader can do just fine, and you are on hand for any real emergencies.

So yes, if I were home, I would feel comfortable with it. If I were out and about, it would have to be family or someone I know fairly well & trust.

[mjg013]

Depends on the person and their maturity. I've let my best friend's dd watch my kids on occasion. From the time she was around 14. I let my oldest watch the kids when we go out to eat or to a movie on occasion. She is 12 almost 13. I would trust her to watch other people's kids. She has already had people ask about babysitting. She's very mature and responsible and has lots of experience. She even knows how to change cloth diapers. But I would have to know anybody well that was going to watch my kids. I think age would be less a factor than trust, responsibility, and maturity.

[sunny*pa*mom]

Our babysitter started watching our boys when she was 13. She's very kind and responsible. She lives across the street and when she was younger her mother was always home in case she had an emergency.

I agree with the pp, I am comfortable with a younger sitter from a family we know well as opposed to an older stranger.

[Daniel's Kitty]

I don't think the age matters as much as the maturity of the person doing the sitting.

I hated the way some of the parents treated me when I started baby-sitting and it got much better as I got older. Now I can't find too many good baby-sitters that can handle 3 small children.

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

For evenings at home I've always been OK with teens, though generally slightly older than 9th grade. During the week I almost always need someone who can drive, so for those times I generally use college kids.

I will say that I would never hire a sitter who had their mother call to make the first contact. If you aren't old enough to make that call, you aren't old enough to watch my kids, YK?

Having been through a string of PT nanny/sitters in the last couple of years, I will say that I have generally had more luck with Craigslist and SitterCity than with local college postings.

[Jennifer3141]

Thank you, Evan&Anna. I really felt the same way about getting the email from the parent of the kid who wants to babysit.

I'm going to pass on this one. I'm sure she is very nice but I think I'd end up feeling like I had to parent her too. Yes, she can be here with the kids while I clean but I also have a children's museum pass for the kids and their sitter. I'd really like it if they could get the heck out of the house for a few hours.

I like the prescreening the college does for jobs. You have to be a registered student there to see the jobs posted. I really wouldn't be comfortable putting something like this on Craigslist.

I emailed my old babysitter this morning telling her how I was feeling. I'll see what she says and then decide what to do from there.

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

Maybe you can ask your current sitter for an intro to a friend of hers? I have found that a great way to get a replacement when the current sitter is clearly outgrowing sitting.

[Amys1st]

I live in a neighborhood full of teens and almost teens. I use several of these kids and their parents are home and/or they know my immediate neighbors since they know their kids so its cool for an emergency. Also, they can walk home which is a major plus esp if we had been drinking at where ever we were.

I find the younger ones aged 7th grade to 10th grade are very good and usually more into playing with the kids than the older ones. But I have also had good older girls/college age babysit too. I use the younger ones for the not so late nights- such as this past weekend DH and I went for sushi and were only going to be gone for 2 hours.

I also have a girl around the corner who is just finishing 6th grade and is the oldest of 4 kids. I am planning on using her this summer as a mother's helper since she will then be ready for babysitting as she gets older. Her mom and I are friends and we both think this is a good way to get her started.

So far I have about 6 sitters I use and I also pay $10 an hour ($5 for each kid) so I usually have someone who is eager to watch the kids.

[AndVeeGeeMakes3]

I'm kind of lucky because I'm an English professor and so I generally just pick my dorkiest/sweetest students to ask to sit for me. Works great! But, in lieu of that, maybe you could contact one of the sororities at the school in your town and ask them to put out a "call for sitters" amongst their girls. It's, like you said, an already vetted (to the extent that any college student is "vetted") group, and they usually have a pretty good network of girls who like to sit and have experience.

But, yeah, that seems both too young, and kind of not cool that she had her mother e-mail you (not even a phone call??). Glad you passed.

[Vancouver Mommy]

I have no trouble with highschoolers, for exactly the reasons you mentioned. Older kids have lives and aren't all that motivated to babysit. I'm actually happy with a couple of quite young teens (like 13 yo), mostly because they live in my immediate neighbourhood, I know their moms and we usually go out during the day. The adult sitters we know charge $16/hr and that makes a dinner and movie run upwards of $150.

[Lolagirl]

We've had a few teenage (15-18yo) sitters for our kids, and have mostly been rather happy with them. In fact, our current sitter is a neighbor girl who just turned 16 a few months ago. She's hands-down my kids favorite non-relative caregiver, they talk about her all the time and go bananas when they so much as hear her name uttered. Her family is hoping to move soon and we are dreading when that happens, because my kids just love when she comes over to "play" with them.

I really agree with some of the other PPs here that the individual's maturity and responsibility is more important than simply his or her age. In fact, I think it's pretty unfair to write someone off simply because they are younger. I've met plenty of 21 year olds who were unreliable and irresponsible and would therefore never consider hiring to watch my kids, and I've met a few 13yos I would hire in a heartbeat. I myself started babysitting when I was 12 and was still much in demand with my babysitting families when I left for college. The point being that age is not necessarily the single determining factor in whether someone will be a good caregiver or not.

My advice to you OP would be to set up a meeting with this potential sitter and feel her out. Maybe get some references and if you really like her set up a time she can come by to meet your kids before you actually book her to see how she relates to them. I always have my potential sitters come meet my kids prior to watching them when we are out of the house and therefore unable to monitor things. So far this approach has definitely helped to weed out the good ones from the not so good ones.

Hope that helps.

[emmalizz]

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[SparklingGemini]

I started a long career of nannying, preschool teaching and eventually degrees in Child Development & Psychology and Early Childhood Education all because I started as a babysitter when I was very young(around 11-12.)

Every person is different. My nephew is only 16 but he is better with my DD than anyone else in the world.

Perhaps you can try any potential caretakers out when you are home or at the very least very, very close to home and can pop in for a "surprise."

[Joyster]

It so depends. I know when I was 14, I was babysitting and I was extremely responsible. I know several 14 year olds and while they all love my kids, I think I'd only be able to trust one of them to really keep her head on straight the minute things deviated from the plan. I'm hoping to use her when my youngest hits 2. I also know her aunt who is a dear friend of mine and lives around the corner, and her grandmother a retired nurse who lives down the street, so she'd have plenty of backup if I couldn't get back soon enough.

[Amberoxy]

I personally will not use teanagers to babysit my children. This is because I remember being treated very badly by the teanagers my mother chose to babysit me. I will say that my mother was more concerned about doing what she needed to do than with choosing good babysitters. She didn't really care about the stuff I told her that happened and even preferred to just buy a lock for her office than fire them when she realized they were stealing from her. So it's not too much of a surprise but, the memories have stuck with me. I guess I have a teenage babysitter phobia. I know this more than likely would not apply to mothers here but did want to just throw this out there as a different perspective...