Benefits of intact... - Page 2

[heamae]

Well I got some good news. We argued/talked about it all last night. Right up until he left for work. I kept finding stuff online and showing it to him and he just kept saying he wants it done just because. He left for work and I was at the point of just straight out refusing. I had it all down what I planed to say about it to him in the AM. Well then he called me while he drove to work. He said he could tell I was mad at him and that this whole thing was causing problems between us and that it wasnt worth it to him to ruin our marriage over it. He says he is not happy about it and still wants it done but that he doesnt want to fight any more so he is dropping it. He did say this a few months ago before the baby was born but went back to fighting about it after his mom yelled at him for it. He is still having troubles with his mom over it. She says he has no spine bc he wont stand up to his wife. As of right now, I have won, our son has won. I will not consent to it being done and he knows it. He said the consult is pointless and to cancel. I hope things will just work out with his mom.

[BamaDude]

Originally Posted by tennisdude23

I hope you realize the stupidity of this argument. I'm an intact college age guy and very happy that I am normal and not sliced and diced. I suggest that your husband grows a pair and leaves his son's penis the hell alone. If he has a legitimate concern, then let it be addressed. But preposterous arguments and irrational thinking have absolutely no place in such a conversation.

Originally Posted by jessjgh1

tennisdude you're perspective is very welcome here (indeed helpful, valid, passionate), but in my opinion your judgement and tone is unwarranted (to me off putting to someone who is seeking help).

Jessica

While I might not have worded a response exactly as Tennisdude did, I have to say that I agree with his sentiment whole-heartedly. I took his response to be directed at Heamae's husband, not Heamae herself, and sometimes we guys need to have things spelled out to us in really blunt, direct terminology for us to see exactly how foolish we sound to others when we spout opinions that sound perfectly reasonable in our heads.

Originally Posted by heamae

Well I got some good news. We argued/talked about it all last night. Right up until he left for work. I kept finding stuff online and showing it to him and he just kept saying he wants it done just because.

In my experience, there is no such thing as "just because". There is always a specific reason, and using "just because" is more-or-less an admission that the specific reason is pretty lame/silly/illogical and won't stand up to any sort of logical debate.

Originally Posted by heamae

He left for work and I was at the point of just straight out refusing. I had it all down what I planed to say about it to him in the AM. Well then he called me while he drove to work. He said he could tell I was mad at him and that this whole thing was causing problems between us and that it wasnt worth it to him to ruin our marriage over it. He says he is not happy about it and still wants it done but that he doesnt want to fight any more so he is dropping it. He did say this a few months ago before the baby was born but went back to fighting about it after his mom yelled at him for it. He is still having troubles with his mom over it. She says he has no spine bc he wont stand up to his wife. As of right now, I have won, our son has won. I will not consent to it being done and he knows it. He said the consult is pointless and to cancel. I hope things will just work out with his mom.

I think we just found your husband's specific reason: His Mom wants her grandson top be circumcised, and is willing to resort to name-calling and belittlement to get her way. In the long run, he's going to have to decide whether he's married to his wife or to his mother.

Heamae, I'm trying not to be insensitive and I certainly don't want to suggest you cause further issues in your marriage over this, but the time may come when you have to be really blunt with your husband and point out that your son belongs to you and your husband, not to his mother.

[robertandenith]

next time the issue comes up, could YOU try to talk to her and tell her that your son's genitals are YOUR and your husband's business?

I am really glad he told you to cancel the consultation, that means so much. Your MIL sounds more like an harassment to me :/

[MyBoysBlue]

I'm thinking that your MIL is feeling like she being told, by you not circing your son, that what she did to her DS was wrong. She may be trying to justify what she did. She may not want to face that fact that it wasn't necessary.

I don't know her and it's just a guess. Look at all the MIL's that belittle us if we breastfeed our children because "she formula fed her children and they are just fine." We are doing things differently than they did with their children and they, IL's, can take it as criticism.

[tutucrazy]

Go to youtube and type in "function of the foreskin" You will get a 2 part video that was made by DOC that goes in depth about the functions of the foreskin. Watch both parts with your DH.

An immediate medical benefit that comes to mind is a reduction in UTI. You hear many outdated stuff that says intact are more likely to get UTI but actually the opposite is true. With proper care (meaning NO retraction) the foreskin actually protects against UTI. You can read this page to learn about how the foreskin protects against UTI:

http://www.nocirc.org/statements/breastfeeding.php