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Originally Posted by Green Eyes  I'm sorry to hear that others had a crappy day, too. I really appreciate your support.
Daughter just turned 11, so she is old enough to do something, for sure. I know she was counting on him doing something, too, he didn't say anything ahead of time.
I believe the reason he's being weird about flowers or anything is because of the upcoming mortgage. It has taken him SEVEN YEARS to decide we should buy, this is after years of research, watching the stock market(s), and many hours he spent doing spreadsheets, etc. etc. He is terrified of debt and he's kind of wigging out about it... flowers cost money. Oh yeah, at the movie theatre he said we couldn't get popcorn (although it was lunch time) because he didn't have enough cash on him so I got the popcorn and used the debit card. See, he's wigging out about the money now. 
I guess I should have spoken up more but things are so tense right now, and I wanted everyone to have a good time, and I didn't want to be a jerk by insisting that we do what I want.
Mainly I just wanted them to be nice to me and considerate for a day, and to make me feel appreciated. That doesn't cost anything.
You are all making me feel better, thank you! |
I see it that it is the father's role to help the kids to make mothers day special. I told dh it is not 'Wives Day', but that he is in charge of organizing the kids.
I personally hate the flower delivery and going out for dinner/breakfast thing, as it seems to me that it takes so little effort and costs so much money, and does not give the children any opportunity to participate, except as guests at the table. I prefer a piece of toast lovingly buttered by my own preschooler's hands to a slap up breakfast in an expensive restaurant. And at 11, your dd is way too old to need much organizing. She and your dh should have talked the week before and made a plan of what they were going to do. And they should have done that with your preferences in mind. So, if flowers are important to you, they should have cut some flowers. If breakfast out is important, they should have pooled their spare cash and taken you out. Or if they really couldn't afford it, cooked you something really special. I recall a friend's partner laying a tablecloth on the floor of their teeny tiny kitchenette when they were first together and serving a breakfast picnic. It was so sweet, and a memory that she treasured forever. All it takes is some imagination and a little effort!
Next year I'd talk to them ahead of time and make sure that they have it in hand. I see it that your dh should be showing your dd what it means to be considerate and show appreciation. That doesn't need to cost money. Our mothers day cost virtually nothing, but the kids got a good experience in showing appreciation. They cut flowers from the garden and made cards and cooked breakfast together. That's enough for me. Lack of money is no excuse, imo.
to all the mamas who had a bad mother's day.
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: to the rest.
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. so there is no money in this job lol. Its a pretty selfless job honestly my husband doesnt really get a true day off ever and he's always on call it kind of sucks for the pay! no sick days,no calling in etc etc.
