Need questions answered

[phins3fan]

My wife is going through some ppd. She wakes up every morning crying with these horrible thoughts of hurting our child. She says that she would never act on them, but can't get the thoughts to go away. She obsesses over them to death. She started Lexapro a week ago, and seems like it's getting worse than better. I have been taking some time off work to help her out. How long until the Lexapro takes affect and makes her feel better?
If it matters, she is breast feeding for the time, or until she doesn't want to hold the child any longer, which is real close to happening.

[mom0810]

Please find your wife a therapist in your area that specializes in PPD. You can find one at www.postpartum.net.

The Lexapro can take up to 6-8 weeks to start working. In the meantime, she might need to try something like ativan to calm her down.

Also, who prescribed the Lexapro? It is fine in nursing, but zoloft is actually the medication of choice during breastfeeding. You might want to look in to that or ask the OB about it. Hopefully, your wife has a good psychiatrist because this is ideal for meds management.

I really hope things get better. Let her know that what she is having is PP-OCD... the book, Beyond the Blues, could help both of you a lot. Zoloft tends to work better for OCD, also, so it might be a good idea to switch meds. I think she would have to go cold turkey off the Lex for a couple of days before starting the zoloft, but a good psychiatrist or pharmacist would know better than me. I just know you don't want to ever take 2 ssri's at the same time.

I will say prayers for you and your wife. PPD is not fun. She is on the right track with meds, and if you could help her to get sleep, that would help so much, too. Make sure she is eating and drinking as much as she can, also.

[K-Mom3]

Good for you for being a supportive husband. I know from talking with my own husband how hard that is with mental illness. I think if I were in your position I would call a pharmacist first, see what you can find out about Lexapro and Zoloft for postpartum OCD, and then call your prescribing doctor. A therapist is a really good idea, too. It is a really good idea for you to take charge of making these things happen--sounds like you're already on the ball about that.

It might help your wife to read/hear stories of other moms recovering. I liked the book "Women's Moods" and the author describes her experiences with postpartum OCD at the beginning and later talks about how to treat it. This book also describes how to improve your brain health with nutrition, rest, exercise, light and stress relieving personal time. Working on those things could help your wife while you're waiting for the meds to kick in.

The breastfeeding situation is hard. If she starts refusing to hold the baby, maybe you could convince her to pump so that she can keep up the milk supply until she's feeling able to hold the baby again? Any moms out there have experience with nursing during PPOCD?

[mom0810]

Yes, me. Just have her do as much as she can, so she doesn't lose her milk supply. If nursing was important to her before she had the baby, then it will be again once she is feeling better. Have her pump if she has to. Her supply will pick up once she is feeling better... so don't worry about her drying up. Supplement with formula if you have to. It's no biggie. We did that with my first baby and he nursed to 19 months! Exclusively, once I got feeling better.

Also, I know this is hard as a man and a daddy, but you can't fix her. I know guys always want to just step in and do whatever needs to be done. But know that she just needs as much support as you can give. Loving gentle support.

It seems like you are already doing this, but it just bears repeating.

Lexapro can increase anxiety (OCD) symptoms, so it just may not be the right med for her right now.

Blessings and love to both of you and your new baby.

[rclaz]

How wonderful of you to write!! What a supportive husband. If she has thoughts of hurting the baby, even if she thinks she never will, now is not the time for her to be alone with the baby. She a) needs to start seeing someone professionally, b) needs to be on the right medication, c) needs someone in the house with her. If it can't be you, it needs to be a family member, baby nurse, post partum doula. Someone to help her protect herself from herself. Depression can make you do some crazy destructive things, things you'll regret. I never had thoughts of hurting my baby, my PPD didn't get that severe, but I did pack my bags one middle of the night and told my husband I couldn't do it anymore and left. I wandered around with my bag of random items I packed. I went back home, but point being I'll never forget how horrible I feel about it. Don't let her do that to herself or the baby, or you. Get the help and support she needs to get you all through this.

[phins3fan]

Thank You!!!

Thanks to all of you for the great advice and thoughtful prayers. It's very hard to go through something like this when it's supposed to be the happiest time of your life and the world feels like it's been turned upside down.
The OB is the one that gave us the Lexapro. We asked her "if it was you, would you take this medication and breastfeed?" Without hesitation she said "absolutely!"
We did go see a psychiatrist. He said she has "a tad bit of OCD" that explodes during PPD. He also said that Lexapro was the drug of choice. The next time we see him, I'll ask about the Zoloft for sure.
I go into work a little later these days, and my parents stay with her throughout the day for an extra helping hand.
Again, thanks for all your help and prayers. Keep them coming.

[ahimsa_in_action]

I experienced something very similar to your wife soon after my son was born. I was very depressed, just wanted to curl up and die, didn't want to hold my son very much at all, thought I might hurt him or myself at times...it was really, really bad. I had the benefit, though, of having done a fair amount of inner/emotional healing work for a number of years before he was born, so a part of me was aware that I didn't have to let my emotions control me. The only way I was able to regain control was to actually allow myself to feel the pain. You see, it's not the anguish and horrible thoughts and emotions themselves that were the problem, it was the fact that I felt guilty about experiencing them. I felt like I *should* be happy because I just had a baby (isn't everyone happy at this time??), I felt like I *should* pull myself together and not be so difficult/lazy/obstinate/depressed/etc., I felt like how I was feeling was my fault and so by blaming myself I kept myself pinned under the guilt and shame, which made it impossible to heal and come out from under that rock. I had to step back for a moment and see this, which was extremely hard. But once I was able to gain a little clarity, I knew that blaming myself for how I felt was going to be an endless cycle and no matter what the reason was for the depression, I could heal myself if I wanted to. Once I let go of the blame then the pain simply unraveled. Little by little, it came tumbling out of me through tears, angry words, whatever felt right in the moment because I had allowed that resistant part of me to step aside. If your wife can figure out how to give herself permission to feel what she's feeling then this may be of great benefit to her, if she wants it to be. She may be so far down the rabbit hole that she doesn't feel she deserves to take care of herself, that she doesn't deserve to stop feeling guilty. If that's the case then my advice is pointless. I just thought I'd put this out there because it was my saving grace (literally) and I was even able to go on with my life without the use of medication (not saying that this is the way she should go about it...just that there alternatives). I wish you and your family the best...let me know if I can be of any additional help...I'm here if you need me