dh compared circ to a mother teaching daughter about menses - help

[greenirene]

so in marriage counseling tonight my dh (i want a divorce...) said referring to our 2 yo son that i insisted not be circed (he wanted to do it) - that it's wrong for mother to decide that son should not be circed. he said it's like if he took our daughter to the store and bought tampons and taught her about menstrual cycles. To me i don't see the big deal about dad doing that but it's probably easier for mom.

Anyhoo - can you mama's help me deconstruct that insanity?

[kayla.blair]

thats a really odd analogy...lol.


First off, for him to take your daughter to the store and buy her things and teach her about her cycle, isnt going to change her for the rest of her life. Hes TEACHING her something (whether good or bad, she can always "re-learn" and grow up learning more about it)... the onlly way this compares to circumcision, is if you were teaching your son about it. NOT actually circumcising him! lol

What he should have said, is if he took his new born baby girl to go get a boob job (yes, ignorant and impossible, lol), and you didnt approve, but he did it anyways. or something of the sort.

I think it all boils down to human rights. Tell him that your not forbidding him (your son) to get a circumcision, but holding it off until he can make his own educated decision about his own penis, and get circumcised then if he wants to (not just because his daddy thinks it would be best).

[Papai]

What a ridiculous argument. Does teaching your daughter about her menses involve cutting of the genitalia? Of course not. Then how are the two even comparable?

[MeepyCat]

What's wrong with a dad teaching a girl about menses, exactly? Aren't thousands of single dads of daughters, or even partnered dads whose daughters ask questions or whose moms are out of town at THAT MOMENT in precisely that situation every year? And isn't telling a girl what's going on with her body and helping her get some basic supplies a thing that any loving parent should be able to do?

So, one, we have the fallacious notion that providing information == consenting to surgery.

Then we have the fallacious notion that certain parenting roles and decisions are so strongly gendered that opposite sex parents should be forbidden to participate.

Finally, we have the strong suspicion that your H is saying "you should have let me have my way here", and seeing if he can find an emotional nuclear hot button to bring into the discussion about it.

[KaylaBeanie]

Uhh I told my dad all about my diva cup and he goes shopping for my sister's pads every month since she's too young to drive. He's more well versed on the types of pads than my mom or I could ever hope to be. I actually laughed while reading this!

Ditto on the whole forced removal of a body part/natural, healthy bodily function not being remotely comparable though. You can't compare them. Plus, if he's saying moms should talk about periods, what would he say to his son if you'd circ'd? "Congratulations my boy, I loved you so much that I had you strapped down and the doctors pulled apart and sliced off your penile skin when all you wanted to do was suck some boob. Check mine out, we look the same!"

um....no.

[kayla.blair]

Originally Posted by KaylaBeanie

Uhh I told my dad all about my diva cup and he goes shopping for my sister's pads every month since she's too young to drive. He's more well versed on the types of pads than my mom or I could ever hope to be. I actually laughed while reading this!

Ditto on the whole forced removal of a body part/natural, healthy bodily function not being remotely comparable though. You can't compare them. Plus, if he's saying moms should talk about periods, what would he say to his son if you'd circ'd? "Congratulations my boy, I loved you so much that I had you strapped down and the doctors pulled apart and sliced off your penile skin when all you wanted to do was suck some boob. Check mine out, we look the same!"

um....no.

OMFG... i spit out my coke. HIlarious!

[robertandenith]

Originally Posted by Papai

What a ridiculous argument. Does teaching your daughter about her menses involve cutting of the genitalia? Of course not. Then how are the two even comparable?

[Belle]

Originally Posted by KaylaBeanie

Ditto on the whole forced removal of a body part/natural, healthy bodily function not being remotely comparable though. You can't compare them. Plus, if he's saying moms should talk about periods, what would he say to his son if you'd circ'd? "Congratulations my boy, I loved you so much that I had you strapped down and the doctors pulled apart and sliced off your penile skin when all you wanted to do was suck some boob. Check mine out, we look the same!"

um....no.

I nearly choked on my water while reading that.

[claddaghmom]

Uhh not quite about menstruation but my dad took me bra shopping! And I was glad lol b/c he has sucker written across his face...my young teens years were spent wearing the most expensive, nicest bras ever lol. Mom would have stuck to the budget and bought a few interchangeable, low cost, boring ones.

His analogy is completely off...sounds like he has sex issues. A better analogy would be the boob job one from the PP. Tell him, "fine, when DS turns 13 you can have the circ talk w/ him" lmao

[greenirene]

oh i think the boob job one is a great argument. If my dd gets my genes, she'll have basically noooooo boobies at all. She'll be a flat aa cup. So - to avoid future teasing (i was teased) (dh is paranoid about my ds getting teased because as a bully as a child he teased intact kids) - i would say it would be equal to having my dd go just get some implants now - to avoid future teasing.

The whole thing is absurd.

And i have zero problem with dad being involved in menstrual issues. It's great as far as i'm concerned for him to do so.

[mysticmomma]

"Congratulations my boy, I loved you so much that I had you strapped down and the doctors pulled apart and sliced off your penile skin when all you wanted to do was suck some boob. Check mine out, we look the same!"


:

[MommytoB]

All I got was a book and mom showing me her stinky bloody pad ewww . My ex had no issues og getting me pads or hpt

[tutucrazy]

No, what is wrong is for a foreskinLESS father to remove the foreskin of his son when he has absolutely NO idea about what it means to one a foreskin. Since he has never owned a foreskin then he really has no ground to stand on here. He might have a penis, but not a whole one.