Nursing my 3 yr old

[DDDennis]

My 3-yr old daughter is still very much interested in nursing whenever she can get the chance, especially when my 10-mo old nurses. My husband and I were very committed to child-led weaning when we became pregnant with our first, but now that she's 3 (just turned 3) and showing no signs of weaning, I begin to see an endless future and then begin to worry that we could be in this until she's 6, which feels really uncomfortable for me. I imagined that 4 would be her closure with it, but now I'm wondering. Will it impact her negatively if I very gradually, gently help her adjust to other forms of comforting throughout this year or is there some need in nursing that I'm missing. It seems like she should be able to be comforted adequately by other means (holding, rocking, cuddling, carrying, etc. by me) by this point. She still depends on nursing to sleep at nap time and bed time, but when in the car will just fall asleep on her own.

Feedback would be helpful, and especially successful child-led weaning stories where they actually do decide on their own that they're done. I think if I knew that more children suddenly arrived at that point at around 4, I wouldn't feel so anxious right now that she's only 3.

Thanks,
DeeAnna

[mom2threenurslings]

Nursing at 3, 4 or older IS about more than just comfort. Breastmilk never loses its nutrition. It's an amazing help when your child is sick. It helps their immune system mature properly. Nursing helps ensure proper maxo-facial development (teeth/mouth/jaw). It provides the child with a naturally soothing, intimate connection with mom and provides mom with wonderful prolactin and oxytocin which help relax her - especially useful when your child reaches challenging boundary-pushing stages of development.

Nursing a 5 year old is much different than nursing a 3 year old. As the child grows and matures, so does the nursing relationship.

That said, breastfeeding is a relationship between two people, and both need to be happy in the relationship. Are you enjoying nursing her now? Can you focus on being in the moment with her as she nurses rather than focusing on when she might wean? Weaning can be done very gradually and gently, respecting the nursling's needs if necessary.

One thing I've found upon communicating with many CLWing mothers is that many can't imagine being comfortable nursing a 4/5/6 year old until they get there. When tandem nursing my first two, I couldn't imagine nursing a 4 year old. My firstborn self-weaned at 5 ... my second at 7 ... and I continue to nurse my three youngest.