How to handle the "I'LL DO IT!!!" when he CAN'T do it?

[DivineMrsM]

my son is 2 and has been in the "I'll do it" phase for a while. but there are just some things that he simply CAN'T do. we put a gate at his door so he doesn't run out of his room when he wakes up. now he wants to be the one to take it down. well, he can't! that's the point of the gate. he is physically incapable of taking the gate down. when he tries and fails, he melts down. if i try to help him, he melts down. what do i do?

also, we're quasi-potty training. he has a stool but is still too short to get himself on the toilet. but he CAN'T get on it by himself. again, if i help him, he freaks. same with wiping his nose. he rubs snot into his eyes and gets an eye infection, so i let him wipe it to a point, but then i have to help him a bit, and you guessed it! he freaks!!

quite honestly, i'm losing my mind. and my temper. i know he's trying to be independent and i try to foster that as much as possible as i'd MUCH rather a kid who wants to and can do everything for himself than a kid who is too dependent on me. but there are things he's physically incapapble of doing! and he obviously doesn't understand that. so i am out of ideas.

also, how to encourage him to do the things he can do in a more timely fashion! lol he wants to dress himself or whatever, which is great, but sometimes we are on a timeline and he freaks if i try to help.

ARGH!!!!!!!! i love him, i really really do. and this stuff he is learning is going to be so awesome for him in the futrure. but right now, he's making me CRAZY!!!!!!!!

thanks for any ideas!

[sebandg'smama]

2 is a terrific age and a hard hard age for sure!

I always tell people that the most creative I have ever been is as a parent. Trying to find ways to accomodate their need for autonomy and giving them power over their lives is no small feat!

Some thoughts would be, getting rid of the gate. We had to put a special child lock on our front door so my dd wouldn't escape outside (she figured out at 2 to push a step stool up to the door and unlock the regular lock). Other than that the house was babyproofed if she did get up before me.

I had a friend put a bell on their child's door handle so that they would wake when their ds opened the door.

A little potty chair instead of a toilet.

Wet cloths for wiping own noses...much more effective than dry tissues when a 2 year old is wiping.

Walking out the door with pants/shoes/ shirts in hand if not fully dressed.

Flexibility and deep breathing are mandatory with 2 year olds.

Plus, what I learned from my zen-like dh is to wait, it seems like forever sometimes (especially under time pressure) but I am always surprised when what takes "forever" to me was only 5 minutes. When I interfere and the temper tantrum happens, it's usually 10-15 minutes of defusing.

Oh and make sure you have time to yourself to self-nurture. Very very important!

Best of luck!

[_betsy_]

We always let DD try when she wants to, but then ask if she wants some help. This gives her a chance to surprise us if she *can* do something new, but it also lets her know we're good for something!