Total Brat, or Just Two Years Old?

[Nourished Mother]

In other words, DD is driving me crazy! (2 years and 9 months old).

Lately she has become aggressively defiant. "Sweetie, please don't draw on the table, you may draw on your paper". "Well, I'm going to draw on the table". "Well then, I'm going to take your pen anyway". "Then I'm gonna hit you."

Slight variations of that conversation all day. Either "I AM going to" or "I'm NOT going to" and then "I'm going to hit you".

And she does indeed hit when she is frustrated, at least once a day.

I am not lax at all when it comes to discipline, and have been trying everything I can think of to diffuse these situations and explain why drawing on the table, hitting, etc. is not okay, and showing her what she *can* do instead.

Just a stage? Or am I just starting to see an aspect of her personality that wasn't able to be expressed when she was younger? Seeing this now, I am worried about the future...

[mnj77]

If our daughters' two-year-old behavior is a only a harbinger of what's to come, we're in big trouble! Seriously though, it sounds pretty normal for an almost 3 year old to test (and defy) the limits and lash out when she doesn't get her way. The hitting really pushes my buttons too. I can't wait for that stage to end!

[St. Margaret]

Who told that girl she was a two-year-old?! Seriously, just going from seeing a million two year olds at my mom's home child care, who were all lovingly and carefully raised... yeah, that's just being two. They're asserting that they are their own person, and testing boundaries. Over and over again. And then they get older and turn into sweet individuals again.

[dachshundqueen]

Yeah they're fun eh?

Sign me up for four more.......

Mine is 19 months, the other is 4yo. So, really, fun.


Liz

[Livviesmom0207]

I want to join this club!

DD is 27 months an in a matter of days has turned into a screaming in my face, hitting, growling, tantruming little monkey.

Not fun. On the plus side, I could rent her out as birth control, perhaps.

[acupuncturemomma]

Yup, my DD is a week younger than yours, and we have just (in the last month) entered the same territory. It's not any fun! FWIW, two good mama friends who also have 2 1/2 year olds are going through the same phase.

[Cascia]

Originally Posted by Nourished Mother

In other words, DD is driving me crazy! (2 years and 9 months old).

Lately she has become aggressively defiant. "Sweetie, please don't draw on the table, you may draw on your paper". "Well, I'm going to draw on the table". "Well then, I'm going to take your pen anyway". "Then I'm gonna hit you."

Slight variations of that conversation all day. Either "I AM going to" or "I'm NOT going to" and then "I'm going to hit you".

And she does indeed hit when she is frustrated, at least once a day.

I am not lax at all when it comes to discipline, and have been trying everything I can think of to diffuse these situations and explain why drawing on the table, hitting, etc. is not okay, and showing her what she *can* do instead.

Just a stage? Or am I just starting to see an aspect of her personality that wasn't able to be expressed when she was younger? Seeing this now, I am worried about the future...

My daughter, now three acts the same way. We use 1-2-3 magic on these behavior issues and it works great. She knows now that once I get to 3 she has to go to her room. After her time out we don't discuss the behavior problem. The worst thing you can do is lecture your little one about the behavior issue. You will get nowhere. Just tell her that you disapprove once and then if she does it again say, "Now that's one." Then pause for a few minutes to allow her time to stop the inappropriate behavior. If it doesn't stop then say, "Now that's two." Pause again. Make sure you do not say anything in between the numbers. If the behavior continues say, "Now that's three take a 5 minute time out." and send her to a quiet place for a time out. This works great on both of my toddlers.

[anjsmama]

Okay, Person1234 - I just want to point out two things. First, this thread began in May 2009, so this woman's daughter is now 4 years old. I'm sure she's doing just wonderfully now. ;) Second, this is MDC, a community for Natural Family Living... meaning MOST of the parents here believe in Gentle Discipline, which would NEVER involve spanking or "punishment" as you call it, for a 2 year old. As for your comments on lazy parenting.... I'll just laugh and move on.

[MayasMama88]

Anjsmama, I just reported "Person1234" to the moderators. They just joined today, and to write posts like that can only mean that they're just joining to cause trouble. Not worth anyone's time. :)

[cparkly]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Person1234 

Or put shortly, you really need to start showing this kid who's the boss of the house, and right now, it's obviously her, so you really need to start turning the tables around and letting her know that's how it's going to be, or else you're going to be dealing with a spoiled brat who walks all over you and treats you like a piece of dirt for the rest of your life. I mean, from reading your story, this kid just flat out has no respect, and it has nothing to do with being 2, it has to do with being an undisciplined spoiled brat.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Person1234 

Yeah, you say you're not lax in your discipline, when in fact you don't even discipline her at all. Explaining to her why what's she's doing is wrong or trying to redirect her attention to something else is not discipline, bcuz obviously she doesn't even care what she does is wrong, even though she quite frankly does know, bcuz she's a spoiled brat and knows she can get away with it. And redirecting her attention to something else won't help either, bcuz that's not going to stop her from doing the same thing again in just as little as a few minutes, and she knows she can get away with crap like that, so she's bound to do it again. You need to start giving out punishments if you want the bad behavior to stop, and no, she's not going to like it, but that's just life, my friend, and that's why it's called punishment. even if that means spanking, time outs, taking the pen or any toy she has away, or taking away other priviledges. I mean it's just disgusting when I see such lazy parenting from people like you and other people on this thread who are complaining about their toddlers doing the same things. and stuff like "the terrible two's" and "it's just a phase" is total BS bcuz I can honestly say my parents would never have put up with bad behavior from us when we were that age, and they didn't.

Anyone else smell a troll? FLAG THESE COMMENTS.