Please help me handle this situation

[eastkygal]

DD1 has become more frequently one who wants to remain indoors in front of the TV. This has come about after spending much of the winter ill and not able to play much. So, she has been going to music school with DH who teaches traditional music appreciation to preschoolers on Wednesdays. She has been loving it.
Today, she completely ruined it for everyone. DH couldn't fulfill his duties as a teacher for her misbehavior. She cried, screamed, refused to participate. She threw the teacher's books down and screamed "no!" at her. DH took her outside to calm her down. She said she wanted to participate in the dance portion, they went back in, and she immediately started taking a fit again.
He has told her she is not to watch any TV for 2 days. I'm in agreement here, and would like TV to be very limited for her from here on out. I want to encourage her to do other activities. Behaviors like this have been increasing lately. Completely ignoring our words of help or correction, screaming, telling us no, and refusing to do as we ask. I have been working on a daily rhythm for us so that she knows what to expect from our days. Anyone have any other suggestions. She embarrassed DH horribly, and hopefully didn't damage his ability to be asked back.

[sisteeesmama]

Hi

I feel like after reading that I still feel like I would need more information to understand which part you need help with?

As far as the outside stuff, I feel ya. We spent a lot of time indoors this winter. We moved to a colder climate after living in the deep south forever and I couldn't always bring myself to make trips outside for outdoor play in the wind and cold, lol.
Since it has become spring time outside I have made an effort to think of things to do outside, mostly water play like watering plants, filling containers etc. We also do chores together outside and then I try and mix each outdoor excursion with one chore, one fun activity and then maybe another chore and we go in for awhile for a snack, a bath, a book, a chore, or a nap.

About the school thing I think a better idea for punishment might have been no more school for awhile as a natural consequence of her behavior.

So if you could proide more info. I might have more ideas?

[eastkygal]

What I need help with is the crying for no apparent reason, throwing books offered as an alternate activity, disrespect to those trying to help her, ruining it for the other children... basically horrible tantrums where we can't identify the cause. She acts like a spoiled child sometimes, but I really don't think she is. It is exhausting and embarrassing. What to do when she screams "no" at us, or ignores what we say to her...
Thanks.

[sisteeesmama]

Ok, well I do have some ideas about those things.

I have been wondering about the continuum concept, lately, especially he ideas about not being child centered or parent centered but life centered. I don't know if that is something you have read about/thought about or if it would apply but maybe. From what I have read so far the idea is that a small child feels uncomfortable and nervou when they aremade to be the focus of their parents time instead of their parent just going about their daily business with a confidence that they need to get their stuff done and the child is welcome to join in, ta along or do their own thing. Now in reality I am still trying to figure out how to do that, but if don't already do that it might be something to consider.

Also, could she be jealous at school that her daddy is paying attention to the other kids and be trying to get his attention? The dynamic might not right for her to be there right now, especially if she has a sort of warped sense of who is in charge, like maybe if she thinks she runs the show she might be uncomfortable in that situation?

Anyway, like I said these are ideas I am still mulling so I don't know if they are explained well or anything.....

[mom2grrls]

From your signature your daughter is 3.5? Those are all normal behaviors for 3.5 unfortunately Is she well rested most days and eats well? My son gets mean and unreasonable when he is tired and from 3.5 to 4.5 it was not fun. Perhaps try limiting the TV say by 5 mins every few days and introducing new things in it's place. Going outside, taking a walk, painting, etc.