Balancing time for others

[Harmony08]

Hi,

At the end of the month DH, DS, and I are moving to a new city for DH's internship. We planned for me to spend time in our hometown (with my parents) for the first week he is working so he can focus on his job and not unpacking baby stuff and finding the grocery store etc. Then we realized that the week before is his finals week which is usually miserable for me because I don't see him and have DS by myself. So I decided to go early. What do you think about DS not seeing DH for two weeks???? He will be just 8 months, DH is putting on a brave face but he is obviously distressed at the idea of not being with us for two weeks and worried that DS will forget him or reject him or something. I love my parents but am unsure about two whole weeks in their house but I also want to minimize the stress on all of us with the move. Anybody have any opinions or BTDT???? I know it is just a decision I have to make.

Oh and obviously my parents would love it if we spent ALL summer with them. How do I balance their needs with DH's needs and what is best for the baby. Oh yeah, then there is me

Thanks!

[LynnS6]

Is there any way your dh can come the weekend between his finals new internship? Could you go 1/2 way through finals week so that he's not alone the WHOLE week? Somehow 9-10 days of separation seems better to me than a full 2 weeks. Maybe you could come back on the Friday when he's done, rather than on Saturday or Sunday.

Unfortunately, sometimes balancing needs of everyone means that one person has to make do with a less than ideal situation.

You can call him every day, or skype.

[EnviroBecca]

I would go for the two weeks and plan on talking about Daddy to the baby a lot and bringing a picture of him. When you talk with him on the phone, have him talk to the baby too. When you see him again, be prepared for the baby to act uncertain about him for a couple days, but it probably won't take long to warm up again.

While you're at your parents', let them spend plenty of time holding and playing with the baby, esp. toward the end of your visit, so that you don't return to your husband burned-out on being the Parent On Duty--because if the baby initially acts like Daddy is a stranger and you're eager to pass the baby to Daddy so you can get some time off, that's going to be hard on all of you.

Good luck with the move!

[Harmony08]

Very helpful tips. Thanks very much.

[AVeryGoodYear]

Can you install webcams and chat that way as well? It's what I'm planning to do to communicate with long-distance family