or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Baby › Co-sleeping and the Family Bed › Desperate. Desperate. thread- UPDATE our vacation!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Desperate. Desperate. thread- UPDATE our vacation! - Page 6

post #101 of 145
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MujerMamaMismo View Post
Another babe. You're a bigger person than me. I'm convinced DS is an only after the hell of sleeplessness.
Haha. My husband and I have seriously considered making DS an only. We had originally said we wanted 3 or 4 kids.. not anymore.. But I know I want at least one more. I need a little girl...

And there is the hope that I will have a laid-back, decent sleeping, non-allergic, reflux free little baby next. And if I have another one like DS, at least I know what to expect, and maybe will have more answers by then.
post #102 of 145
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185 View Post
I have not taken him to a chiro, though that has been suggested to me before. Does anyone know HOW that would help? Or have any success stories of it helping sleep? Its a lot of money to pay for something I know nothing about and haven't heard anything from anyone about how it has helped baby's sleep.

He doesn't have an ear infection. No fever, is fine during the day.. just doesn't SLEEP...................
Again, no scientific evidence, but I've heard that one of the causes of reflux can be a pinched nerve that prevents the sphincter between the tummy and esophagus from closing properly. So that's why chiro often helps reflux, which can help sleep.

Also, say your baby has some kind of misalignment in his neck or hips or something that causes pain, like aches or headaches. That could cause nightwaking.

I took my DD to a chiro when she was 3 months old, and she did have some funky hip and neck alignment issues. She slept better for a few days. I would have taken her back, but the chiro worked out of her home and it smelled so strongly of pet urine that I just couldn't bear to go back. I need to find someone else, but I've been slacking.
post #103 of 145

Nightweaning with no help- What should I do?

oops! Meant to start a different thread. Sorry!
post #104 of 145
How frustrating, mama!! The odd thing is... each kid is so different, it's hard to figure out what will work for yours. Here are a few of my suggestions (not necessarily ap/family bed but they might help a mama in need, so no flames pls):
-A swing or vibrating bouncy seat. DS2 had really bad reflux and I found that some swing time every day helped, even if he fussed a bit he eventually calmed down and would sometimes even fall asleep. He almost always finishes his afternoon nap in it, it's a lifesaver. DS1 wasn't keen on swinging so I gave his away, what a mistake!!
-A tight swaddle, even at 8.5months. Just use a bigger blanket or even a cut piece of sheet. I have a friend whose little guy loves being swaddled still at 2!
-A laundry basket with bedding in it on top of the washer/dryer. The vibration/heat/steam can help some babies (obviously with you at arms reach but at least you can sit and read a book or...umm... get your laundry done, lol)
-A pool noodle or tightly rolled towel under the mattress to elevate.
-Gripe Water (a lifesaver for refluxy #2)
-A paci or a lovey... I don't want to ruin your breastfeeding or anything like that but some kids just.need.to.suck.all.the.time. and you sound like you're ready for a break.... use it for just that, a break.

DS1 napped 5 times a day for 20 minutes at this age. Crazy but I was strict about bedtime and he STTN or maybe woke once a night by 4 months so I didn't care about the nap.

DS2 was just like you described, fussy all the time and didn't really sleep well at all until we found a milk that would work for his belly (he's ff now so I don't have much help for you there) and the swing. Also he likes to feed and rock to sleep.
post #105 of 145
i haven't read the responses but i just wanted to let you know, i have been there, done that, doing that. my dd is two years old and very much like your baby is. she is still a crappy sleeper. somewhere around 18 months she could take a two hour nap but i had to be there. i still have to be there for all of her sleeping basically. she just needs that physical closeness. i read a lot and i have a laptop. hugs mama
post #106 of 145
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by skolbut View Post
How frustrating, mama!! The odd thing is... each kid is so different, it's hard to figure out what will work for yours. Here are a few of my suggestions (not necessarily ap/family bed but they might help a mama in need, so no flames pls):
-A swing or vibrating bouncy seat. DS2 had really bad reflux and I found that some swing time every day helped, even if he fussed a bit he eventually calmed down and would sometimes even fall asleep. He almost always finishes his afternoon nap in it, it's a lifesaver. DS1 wasn't keen on swinging so I gave his away, what a mistake!!
-A tight swaddle, even at 8.5months. Just use a bigger blanket or even a cut piece of sheet. I have a friend whose little guy loves being swaddled still at 2!
-A laundry basket with bedding in it on top of the washer/dryer. The vibration/heat/steam can help some babies (obviously with you at arms reach but at least you can sit and read a book or...umm... get your laundry done, lol)
-A pool noodle or tightly rolled towel under the mattress to elevate.
-Gripe Water (a lifesaver for refluxy #2)
-A paci or a lovey... I don't want to ruin your breastfeeding or anything like that but some kids just.need.to.suck.all.the.time. and you sound like you're ready for a break.... use it for just that, a break.

DS1 napped 5 times a day for 20 minutes at this age. Crazy but I was strict about bedtime and he STTN or maybe woke once a night by 4 months so I didn't care about the nap.

DS2 was just like you described, fussy all the time and didn't really sleep well at all until we found a milk that would work for his belly (he's ff now so I don't have much help for you there) and the swing. Also he likes to feed and rock to sleep.

Not to shoot down your advice, but I've tried pretty much all of those things.. And they didn't work.
post #107 of 145
Thread Starter 

Update- 9 mo WBV today

So the last 3 nights things have been a little better. Last night we even got a 2.5 hour stretch! : And he slept until 6 this morning!

I have to admit, I stopped the ED this weekend. But I plan to resume ASAP!

We had our 9 month WBV today, and I talked with his Ped. about the sleep/allergy/reflux issues. She is having us get DS tested again, with the blood test, to check the allergies. Also, she wants us to up the dose of Prevacid for 4 days to see if it makes a drastic improvement. She thinks that the allergies and reflux definitely could be causing the poor sleep, but that it could just be a 'habit' as well. : She sorta gave the CIO talk, said that she coslept with her son until he was 9 mo and then she couldn't take it anymore and let him CIO. Took 3 nights and he was STTN from then on. BUT she said that if I wasn't comfortable doing it, then don't do it. I told her I wouldn't do it, and she said "I totally understand, I was just at the end of my rope and had no choice when I did it." Which I thought went really well compared to what most Ped's say about CIO!

Now a little bragging--

Liam's 9 month stats-

24 lbs 3 oz's (90th %)
28 inches long (50th %) <- she thinks he hasn't hit his 9 mo growth spurt yet cuz he is usually in the 75th%
19 inch head circ (>100th %)

she also said he seems to be ahead on milestones and motor skills! :

Thanks everyone for all your advice! I will keep you updated on any changes, etc.
post #108 of 145
Quote:
So the last 3 nights things have been a little better. Last night we even got a 2.5 hour stretch! And he slept until 6 this morning!

I have to admit, I stopped the ED this weekend. But I plan to resume ASAP!

i gotta ask...if he has been sleeping better when you were not on the ED why do you want to start again? is it possible that there is something you eliminated that he needs? magnesium is what is jumping to my mind (because it helps with relaxation of muscles) but there are any numer of nutrients that it could be (calcium is crucial for magnesium absorption for example)
post #109 of 145
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mckennasmomma View Post
i gotta ask...if he has been sleeping better when you were not on the ED why do you want to start again? is it possible that there is something you eliminated that he needs? magnesium is what is jumping to my mind (because it helps with relaxation of muscles) but there are any numer of nutrients that it could be (calcium is crucial for magnesium absorption for example)
I was just thinking that it was sort of a delayed-reaction type thing. Like, he started sleeping better because all of the allergens were out of my system, but the new allergens I re-introduced hadn't caught up with him yet. I don't know..

Plus, we started doing the Prevacid again, so I was thinking maybe the sleeping better had something to do with that.

I may wait until next week to start the ED again, after we get the blood tests done to know for sure what he's reacting to. I still do know that he def is allergic to dairy and tomatoes, so I will stay away from those for the time being.

What are things that have magnesium in them? Eating my 'regular' diet, I was eating things with wheat, things that were processed, etc. Not healthy. I was eating healthier on the ED.
post #110 of 145
Quote:
What are things that have magnesium in them? Eating my 'regular' diet, I was eating things with wheat, things that were processed, etc. Not healthy. I was eating healthier on the ED.
Leafy greens are the best. Nuts are high too. But be sure your calcium intake is up there since they work together. If you are dairy free you might be low in calcium.
post #111 of 145
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185 View Post
What are things that have magnesium in them? Eating my 'regular' diet, I was eating things with wheat, things that were processed, etc. Not healthy. I was eating healthier on the ED.
Are you familiar with the 'worlds healthiest foods' website? If you search for a particular food, it gives you the low down on the health benefits of that food, and details on the nutrients in that food (% daily value, etc...). If you search for a particular vitamin, mineral, or other nutrient, it gives you the low down on what that nutrient does for your health, and what foods are highest in it. The main search box on the website doesn't work too well for me, but if I Google "wh foods + search term (ie. magnesium)" I usually get the right link. I find this website really useful

Here's the link to magnesium:

http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?t...trient&dbid=75
post #112 of 145
great link paulamc! the first "benefit" of magnesium that they list is "Relax your nerves and muscles" which is the main reason it can help with sleep.
post #113 of 145
I hope I am not repeating anything already said

Our neighbors had almost identical "issues" with their sweet little girl who is now 11 months. They went to a specialist who recommended that they start solids. Their DD now sleeps through the night after meals of sweet potatoes, avacado, and green beans. I don't know if this is an option but for what it's worth it helped them tremendously.

post #114 of 145
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Starfish11 View Post
I hope I am not repeating anything already said

Our neighbors had almost identical "issues" with their sweet little girl who is now 11 months. They went to a specialist who recommended that they start solids. Their DD now sleeps through the night after meals of sweet potatoes, avacado, and green beans. I don't know if this is an option but for what it's worth it helped them tremendously.

thanks for the advice! we actually started solids about 3 months ago, and it hasn't helped.
post #115 of 145
Hey, I skipped some of the earlier posts here so just jump ahead if you have already hear this... I wanted to chime in a few things that have worked at our house.

DD is 6.5 months old and a "tricky: sleeper... A month or so ago I was really struggling. I finally went on a walk on my own and came to the conclusion that I can't make her sleep or change her sleep patterns, I can only provide her a safe and loving atmosphere to create healthy sleep herself. But, I was like you- something had to change! I started to focus on my sleep and here is what is working well, not perfectly, but well for us.

When she falls asleep for the night,
1- I take half a glass of water with 5 drops of rescue remedy and a calcium supplement.
2- DH and I take 20 minutes together, no matter how late it is to talk, watch a few minutes of a movie, just sit on the couch, whatever.
3- I have removed all clocks from our room, bathroom, and anywhere else that I may see them at night. (I think that this is the most important part for me... Before I would get so would up and frantic about sleep that even when DD fell asleep I couldn't. I would start a frenzy of a countdown: "Must fall asleep now! She'll be awake within the hour! Hurry! Sleep!" Needless to say I couldn't fall asleep that way. Also, without clocks I don't know that I only got 3 hours of sleep so I don't have any idea of how tired I should be (if that makes sense)
4-DH and I take turns reminding each other that it won't be long before she's a teenager and we can't get her to wake up

Anyway, DD still has tough sleep patterns, but I am MUCH better at optimizing my available sleep times now and it has helped our family quite a bit... Good luck! I'll be sending sleepy energy your way!
post #116 of 145
I truly feel for you. What has your doctor said? Have you made sure there isn't any underlying health issue causing this? My daughter is 2 and still wakes up 2 - 3 times a night, but this is better than 5 or 6 which was the case until she was 18 months old. Yes..there are days that I haven't been able to speak or concentrate and as though I'm ready to just breakdown. It's so hard deciding what to do when you hear so much from doctors and friends and every child is different. I've heard the book "Super Nanny" is great and touches on this subject. You may want to check that out. As for me, my daughter was diagnosed with Sensory Intergration Disorder and children with this arn't usually good sleepers. The fact that she wakes up for a pedisure drink and we attend to her because we feel she may be hungry is our fault, but she's not a good eater either and eats very little so I feel as though she's hungry and that may not be the case. It may be out of habit now, but I don't know how to determine that so we still have some rough nights.

I sure hope you can start to get some good deep sleep because I know how tough it is on you, your relationship and also your little one as well and I'd hate to see you go through it anymore than you have. It is a terrible feeling and way to live. Good luck to you!
post #117 of 145
Quote:
Originally Posted by heidib24 View Post
But, I was like you- something had to change! I started to focus on my sleep and here is what is working well, not perfectly, but well for us.
I second this!
I also have a tricky sleeper at 5.5. months. I just keep trying different things to try to get him sleeping better, but in the meantime, it has helped to make sure I am catching up during the day.
> I make myself take one big nap when he's napping (also noticed babe sleeps longer in general with me there).
> At night, I spend some alone time with hubby (helps to feel more sane).
> Also, I delegated bedtime duties to my spouse. I nurse babe and start bouncing, then do a hand-off. Initially there may have been baby grumbles, but now its fine. My babe seems to fight me more for some reason. And most importantly, I get a break before starting "night duty". Sharing the load made me feel tons better.

Again -- Good Luck! And wishing you a couple hours of sleep soon.
post #118 of 145
Quote:
Originally Posted by heidib24 View Post
Hey, I skipped some of the earlier posts here so just jump ahead if you have already hear this... I wanted to chime in a few things that have worked at our house.

DD is 6.5 months old and a "tricky: sleeper... A month or so ago I was really struggling. I finally went on a walk on my own and came to the conclusion that I can't make her sleep or change her sleep patterns, I can only provide her a safe and loving atmosphere to create healthy sleep herself. But, I was like you- something had to change! I started to focus on my sleep and here is what is working well, not perfectly, but well for us.

When she falls asleep for the night,
1- I take half a glass of water with 5 drops of rescue remedy and a calcium supplement.
2- DH and I take 20 minutes together, no matter how late it is to talk, watch a few minutes of a movie, just sit on the couch, whatever.
3- I have removed all clocks from our room, bathroom, and anywhere else that I may see them at night. (I think that this is the most important part for me... Before I would get so would up and frantic about sleep that even when DD fell asleep I couldn't. I would start a frenzy of a countdown: "Must fall asleep now! She'll be awake within the hour! Hurry! Sleep!" Needless to say I couldn't fall asleep that way. Also, without clocks I don't know that I only got 3 hours of sleep so I don't have any idea of how tired I should be (if that makes sense)
4-DH and I take turns reminding each other that it won't be long before she's a teenager and we can't get her to wake up

Anyway, DD still has tough sleep patterns, but I am MUCH better at optimizing my available sleep times now and it has helped our family quite a bit... Good luck! I'll be sending sleepy energy your way!
I think this is great advice - sort of like that old adage of accepting the things you cannot change, changing the things you can, and having the wisdom to know the difference. Thanks for reminding me!
post #119 of 145
My DD was super high needs in regards to sleep. I'll be honest and say I haven't read every single post in this thread so I hope I am not repeating anyone. My DD was a better sleeper NOT sleeping with us or even in the same room. Around 6 months I began transitioning her to a crib for naps and that made a huge difference. Some light, soft relaxing music also drowned out other household noises that had previously been waking her up. I also had to strip her crib totally down and only put her in it with a sleep sack on - no toys, no mobile, NOTHING. Everything was a distraction to her and would keep her from falling asleep and staying asleep. She was also very dependent on nursing to sleep, which was fine. The far, far, far and away biggest thing that made an improvement in her sleep was routine, routine, routine. If your baby is rubbing his eyes throughout the day, he is overtired. If you feel poor due to the lack of sleep, so does he. I would literally sit in a chair in her room and nurse her on each breast in the same order, I would say the exact same words, play the exact same music, recite Goodnight Moon and sing You Are My Sunshine as she was falling asleep. I mean, everything had to be exactly the same, and as that routine began to cue her it was time for sleep her naps began to get more ordered and into an actual "schedule" which she set herself. It was like she needed me to help her get some daily rhythm which I had failed to do the first 6 months.

So, my suggestions are to consider that maybe he will do better NOT co-sleeping. Consider anything visual or audible that could be distracting him and take them out. And consider a very, very specific routine.

Best wishes, I know how tired you are! And I saw that you said you are considering making him an only now that you are experiencing such a difficult time and we talked about that too in the thick of sleep deprivation with my DD. We were prepared to go through the same thing with my DS and he is such a different sleeper. He has always gone down easily and slept well, we feel like we hit the lotto or something!
post #120 of 145
Valerian tincture may work. And frankly, if you've tried everything that everyone has mentioned except CIO - well, that may what works. Of course, it's always up to you as far as what you can live with. Having been seriously sleep-deprived in the past, I found that I am a much better mom when I am rested, and my children are much better kids when they are rested.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Co-sleeping and the Family Bed
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Baby › Co-sleeping and the Family Bed › Desperate. Desperate. thread- UPDATE our vacation!