Aimee..thank you for sharing your heart.
It sounds like you may have visited gentlechristianmothers.com They have a sticky that addresses the 'spare the rod' verse and it's misinterpretation.
Thank you so much for the kind responses. I really appreciate them.
My friends except me to spank Ru when he hurts one of their children. So we're going to explain to them that God has led me to not spank. I would love some bible versus to help me explain my thoughts, so I'm going to get to googling.