1 year old and her dreaded diaper change

[~patty]

Please help me to understand why my 1 year old is now SO upset when she gets her diaper changed. I didn't want to force her to do anything, but she needs to wear a diaper and I can't spend half the day waiting for her mood to turn the right way and allow me to put one on. So....now I have been talking to her calmly while I have been holding her down and trying to get the thing on. Of course, she gets more and more upset the longer this goes on and of course it is taking FOREVER to get the diaper on with her having a massive crying episode and flipping over and trying to kick and get away.

I feel so horrible and I know that maybe being tired or hungry is contributing to it (but she struggles during most changes). We had the same major issue yesterday at around this time (6pm-ish).

I would love to hear some helpful hints to get us through this rough patch.

[kortner]

Some tricks that have worked over here:

• Asking DS to 'hold something for me' - even his sock will sometimes work
• Letting him play with something he never gets to otherwise - (like the baby bottle of massage oil, cell phone if we're out and about and I'm desperate)
• Tickles
• Sitting or standing up diaper changes
• Putting his pants on my head and making funny faces or playing peekaboo
• Clapping his feet together a few times in between actions

I know I've got others, but these are a few I could think of. The first is the best. He'll get really into examining an object he hasn't seen before. HTH!

[mamaofthree]

we did body parts..
ie where is your ear? where is your eye? than i would get really over excited and get goofy and still at 2 he loves to do this at diaper time. now we do weird parts like arm pits and finger nails.

good luck!

h

[Carley]

My kid was the same way, even before she was 1.

I changed her while she was standing up. I got really good at it.

[~patty]

Thank you so much for the replies. I still feel horrible today about our struggle, but now I am armed with more gentle ways to deal with this.

[sapphire_chan]

Over in LWAB, someone suggested putting a piece of tape on the baby's finger.

[Mama.Pajama]

My 19 month old is exactly the same, and has been since he was 1. Before that, it was the car seat that he hated- I've come to believe that he just doesn't like being restrained period!
I became, like PPs, a pro at changing my LOs diaper while he's standing... And sometimes while I'm chasing.
My real epiphany was when I discovered I could change his diaper while nursing, which has been the greatest help to me over the past 6+ months... Its only just now that he's getting too busy to even nurse, so we're back to changing pants on the run here. But I will say without a doubt that changing pants while nursing is the easiest option!

[Enudely]

you could try:
singing a song "This is the way we change your diaper, change your diaper, change your diaper, this is the way we change your diaper, early in the morning!"

-putting lotion on her hands

good luck!
this too shall pass!

[AndVeeGeeMakes3]

Oh my stars, did we have this problem!!!! She would kick and scream and cry like I was ripping her nails off. Awful awful awful. And, frankly, nothing worked until she just outgrew it (sorry). I did everything everything everything that pp's have mentioned and it was just something we had to kind of gently motor through. So, even if your lo doesn't respond well to the diaper on the head, tickling, stand-up changes, etc., at least feel comfort in the fact that it will pass.

[mommy2abigail]

Wanna know what worked for us? Bribing her. It was SO bad, she would attempt to death roll off the changing table. Yes, I could force her down and hold her there, but it was not worth it. She would get so upset just seeing the diaper that I figured for whatever reason she just had a negative association with diaper changing. So I changed the association. When I laid her down, I would give her an animal cracker or some other small sweet that she doesn't normally get. For a while, it was Annies bunny gummies... Anyway, after about a week, she was noticeably less distressed by changing. And now, while she sometimes gets mad, it's no where NEAR where it was before. I do think they eventually grow out of it, but it had been from about 8-14 months for us, and wasn't getting any better. Now it's at least manageable. HTH

edited to add that we did this after trying EVERY single suggestion out there. Nothing worked but this...

[Phantome]

I'm surprised no one has mentioned this, but is she in pain? Does she have a rash, or a little irritation in her folds? Yeast infection? Is the velcro or adhesive of the diaper sticking to her skin? Does the cream or wipes that you're using sting her skin? Maybe she gets some back pain when lying down? If not, maybe the standing or on-the-move changing will work for you. Good luck!
-Phan

[PikkuMyy]

I would definitely try changing standing up, giving her something fun to hold before you put her down to change her, changing where you do them - how about on the bed on a pad instead of up on the table, and definitely changing the association as a PP said, and make diaper time a fun time. Maybe put on some fun music before you start, find a great book that she can look at while you do it, sing a silly song, etc.

[vrclay]

Originally Posted by Enudely

you could try:
singing a song "This is the way we change your diaper, change your diaper, change your diaper, this is the way we change your diaper, early in the morning!"

this is what we do. I sing a song about Patience that I grew up listening to. We only use it for diaper changes. It's from a children's music CD called the Music Machine, all the songs are about the Fruits of the Spirit. It is religious but a great CD. I was so excited when I found it for my son, I bought it for my brother's kids and my siblings laughed when they heard me singing about the Herbert the snail and the be patient song.

[syd'smom]

What about letting her sit on a little potty? (we had several from ikea) We did very casual (ie: I was lazy) EC, and when dd fought a diaper change, letting her sit on the potty for a minute seemed to help - then she didn't seem to mind the diaper so much.

[maisiedotes]

We went through this from the time DD was 11 months till.. well, she is 18 months and still has a fit when I try to change her. What has worked for us most of the time is letting her play with an old cell phone or the remote. It keeps her occupied.. then there is the issue of trying to get it away from her before she re-programs the TV!

[indeospero]

Same boat here. It's horrible.

Having a special diaper-changing song worked for a few days. Novel locations worked for a couple days. Occasionally holding a special object helps, but not usually. Nothing working at the moment, though I am going to try the pp's body parts game, as my dd's vocabulary is really increasing lately and I think she might engage with that.

We do a ton of naked time/EC at home, but sometimes a diaper is just necessary. And changing standing up is not a solution that works for me. It's typically a loud, unpleasant battle, and I really hate it. I remember my first dd doing the same thing, which is part of the reason we did so much naked time with her, and had her out of diapers entirely at 18 months! I guess I'm hoping this dd will have a similar trajectory.

Just wanted to send empathy.

[hipumpkins]

Originally Posted by syd'smom

What about letting her sit on a little potty? (we had several from ikea) We did very casual (ie: I was lazy) EC, and when dd fought a diaper change, letting her sit on the potty for a minute seemed to help - then she didn't seem to mind the diaper so much.

I second this. shemight love potty sitting and you will have way less diaper challenges!

[~patty]

Originally Posted by Phantome

I'm surprised no one has mentioned this, but is she in pain? Does she have a rash, or a little irritation in her folds? Yeast infection? Is the velcro or adhesive of the diaper sticking to her skin? Does the cream or wipes that you're using sting her skin? Maybe she gets some back pain when lying down? If not, maybe the standing or on-the-move changing will work for you. Good luck!
-Phan

Thanks everyone for the great advice. I don't think she is in pain...no rashes or infections, no irritating wipe solutions, etc. The distractions are helping a lot. I have some "special" toys that we are only using during diaper changes that are helping. I am going to try the potty seats soon too. And...worse comes to worse, change her in other positions (although it is hard with the prefolds).

Now...I have to start another post about biting when I take her hand to be redirected ;-)

[mnm4242]

I have a 1 year old and she does the same thing EVERY Diaper change! Some of the ideas above have worked for us most of the time. Usually giving her something (not a toy) to hold works. Sometimes, if it's time for a bottle anyways, I'll give it to her, and change her while she's drinking. Then pick her up and hold her for the rest of the bottle. You just gotta change it up with all the ideas above. From my experience, they work for a while and then you have to move onto the next idea once the excitement for that one thing is no longer there. Good luck and just know you are not the only one going through this right now.

[majormajor]

sounds like a good time to introduce the potty to me. explain that she must use either diapers or the potty, and she can choose and you'll help her with both.

my DD is 11.5 months, and she uses the potty after naps and after long dry spells. after she pees on the potty, i leave her diaperless for as long as i dare (yeah, we've gotten pees and poops on the floor. it's part of the process!). we keep it really chill--claps and cheers when she sits on the potty whether she goes or not.

my trick to get them to pee on the potty is to try and wait until i think they really must have to go and then put them on. with DD1, she just went. with DD2, i gave her a cup of warm water to play with the first time. she LOVES to stick her hands in cups of water, so that's a treat. she peed within 5 minutes. i only did that twice though, you don't want them to depend on having a stimulation like that.

once they learn to associate the feeling of sitting on a potty (which is really unlike any other feeling), it's easy for them to pee when they're on a potty, so long as they actually have to go. DD2 has been peeing on a potty 2 or 3 times a day for a week now. however, i've been trying here and there since 8 months, and it didn't happen until she was ready. so if it doesn't happen, that's ok too.

obviously, i am a proponent of early training. my girls have both liked using the potty, and DD2 sometimes dislikes diapers (not as bad as your DD, but definitely have had to hold her down and sing frantically or try to come up with crazy distracters). i'm just careful to explain respectfully that i need to take care of her pee pee and poops because i love her, and offer the potty as a choice without any pressure.

GL!