Ugg - what should I have done different

[momtoalexsarah]

A little background here, We have and organic farm and I do sales out of our house (mostly meats, egg and some vegies). I will have customers come and get an order usually a couple times a week (but more in summer) most let me know before they are comming so i can get stuff ready but most will want to talk for a bit or select something else - so it really should only take about 10 minutes tops.
We this afternoon (about 5) I had a customer come in and my kids where nuts - really and truly awful I have never been more embarrased in my life rude. I let the kids know ahead of time that I had someone comming and while she was here I wanted them to either watch TV or draw a picture with the stuff in the craft box.
I had just started pulling her order out of the freezer and my 4.5yo and 3yo come running out of the house wearing NOTHING - and painted with the tempra paint from the craft box. I nicely told them that we didn't run around with no cloths on and asked them to go back into the main house untill I was finished. They refused and proceded to wag there behinds at my customer - who was really far more polite then she needed to be (she has two very good little girls - i've met them they are angels compaired to my 3). After I sent the kids back in they ran out the side door of the house, my 4yo grabbing a stick and then she was poking at my customer with it. I excused myself - (appologizing to her of course) and removed the stick outside, and the child - back into the house. I again told my DD that I needed her to stay in the house. I went back, finished helping my customer and she was ready to leave and all 3 kids came back outside - whinning, yelling and sticking out their tounges.

I took all three back in to discover they had dumped dish soap on the floor and cut my youngest hair with the kid sizzors from the craft kit.
This order should only have taken 10 minutes, instead it took nearly 40 to get done.
I can't just not do this, it is my job it allows me to be a SAHM while my husband works 60hours a week driving truck. I need to be able to deal with my customers without the kids interupting. I have nothing against them being out and visiting if they are being polite(and dressed) but they just won't. I have talked to them a million times about this but it dosn't sink in.
After I got the mess cleaned up then they where talked to, given a plain beef sandwhich a bath and bed - no stories, not hugs, just bed.
I'm just at my whitts end with them - I do not do physical punishment(besides light restraint if they are going to hurt me in a temper). I don't do time outs they just don't work with my kids. I have taken away TV,games, computer and numerouse other things (many at the same time) to try and teach them there are consequenses but they seem to get worse - they say there is nothing to do arg.
It is not a diatary issue they eat a great TF diet, mostly GF,dairy free so it's not that. My youngest (3yo) I expect to act up a little she is Special needs and gets a little wound out at times - but she is easy to deal with.
The other 2 there is no excuss except that somewhere I have failed and I don't see where.
Sorry for being so long any advise would be great!

[BellinghamCrunchie]

I think they were probably acting like typical kids at 5pm (kinda tired, probably hungry, not so good at listening). I also think you had the right idea of finding an activity to distract them while waiting on your customer, it just didn't work out because the craft box wasn't interesting enough and there was too much potential for misuse while unsupervised (e.g. painting themselves, cutting hair, etc).

It also sounds like they wanted to be a part of things, or have some socialization? Interaction with a new person (your customer) was more interesting than the craft box.

So what I think you should do is exactly what you are doing (giving them another activity to keep them busy while you are with the customer). Its just the activity that needs tweaking.

Maybe if you had a special dressup box, you could bring the box out only when you're expecting a customer, and ask them to dress up then come out and show you. That way, they'd at least have clothes on, and would get to interact with you and maybe the customer for a few minutes, and hopefully you would have had time while they were dressing up to meet your customer's needs.

Another idea is to have no TV on the days you are expecting a customer until that customer arrives. If they'd had no TV, they might be more interested in watching something while you wait on the customer.

You could also set up a snack tray for them and pull it out when the customer arrives.

I really think its just their young ages and that there's no reason you can't continue your business as long as you find creative ways to engage them in something else. It will get easier as they get older and you might even be able to get them to help you in filling the order or waiting on the customer.

[kortner]

:

If at all possible do business earlier in the day? Maybe have a special snack for them to eat while you're helping your customer? Personally, I love to see kids in body paint.

[mom2grrls]

5 o clock is usually a bad time at our house and my kids are older Although you may feel your kids are old enough to know better they're still young and I personally would not expect them to be in the house sitting quietly while i'm outside. Can you have them chalk outside on the driveway/sidewalk while you're out? How about a special snack on the porch?

[allgirls]

Oh, the witching hour uh? Yep. And your kids really are little!

I like the suggestion about a dress up box!

Whenever possible book appointments at better times

and also, your customer was likely more amused than anything else. I remember my friend trying coral her twins at an event much and she was so exasperated...she thought the kids were annoying people ,but they really weren't, they were adorable, and I told her that! She was kind of relieved.

Most of us have had naked screaming uncooperative kids at inopportune times. If they are getting a reaction then of course they will do it more, because they are just the ages to do it for reaction. My 3 year old took of all her clothis in a store once to wear the dress I had just bought her....then had a full fledged tantrum when I gently suggested we sait...waddya do? I let her put on the new dress and cracked a joke about being like her mother after a few drinks.

good luck

[foreverinbluejeans]

I don't do time outs they just don't work with my kids. I have taken away TV,games, computer and numerouse other things (many at the same time) to try and teach them there are consequenses but they seem to get worse - they say there is nothing to do

You don't want to try to teach them there are consequences. You want to teach them how you expect them to behave. You dont want them to be trying to avoid punishment, you want them wanting to be good. Do you see the difference? You want your children to have internal control.

You knew someone was coming and you would need to give them your attention for 10-15 minutes. Is the problem that your children were wild things or that you didn't make sure the situation would be under control. I'm not trying to make you feel bad, I'm trying to shift the way you look at the situation.

[academama]

Would it work for them to help you? I know it wouldn't work with all kids or on all days, but my 2.5 yo daughter would LOVE to help me with a customer (bring over a particular thing, hand me a bag, etc.).

[ainh]

Well...this might sound like bribery, so I'll probably be flamed. But could you "show" them the value of the money/customers by putting something like $1 in a jar each time they "help" you with a customer (even if "helping" just means that they stay in front of the TV--i.e. they don't inturrupt, etc). You could explain that if they disturb the sale in any way, then you can't put the money in the jar b/c there is a good chance that you'll lose that customer (due to their rude behavior). That money could be saved up to buy a game for the family/kids or something else that they would really be able to appreciate, yk?

[Fuamami]

Oh, I can totally see my kids doing that! They would feed off of each other and get so caught up in the moment and the thrill that they would lose all disregard for what I wanted!

I think the TV idea is a good one. Or could they come out and sit on the porch with homemade popsicles or something?

I get feeling like my kids won't listen, too, but they really do. I think it's just harder when there's three of them and they're closely spaced, you know? It's like everything I say is sort of diluted, and they also have all the background noise of their siblings all the time.

[JessicaS]

Honestly if my kids were going wild I would start having them help me with some of the chores.

There are jobs kids can do and if you are spending so much of your time putting out fires then you aren't getting things accomplished.

It isn't punishment to require kids to help out, but a family is a team and they are a part of that team weeding/watering/sweeping/mopping/vacuuming/making beds are all little things younger kids can do. Maybe have the youngest outside with you and the older two doing something when a customer is present?

My dd is eight and she has a few chores she does. Nothing huge or overwhelming but kids do need to understand what responsibilities are and what it means when they make more work for mom.


Did your six year old tell them to take their clothes off and shake their hineys or did they just do that on their own?

When we were little my older sister was always getting ideas and having me implement them. Now her eldest does the same thing.

[LynnS6]

It sounds to me like you did the best you could in a bad situation. (And I have to say that your description made me smile!) I'm not sure I would have withheld the bedtime snuggles/reading, but I've done that myself, so I'm in no position to judge!

I think that asking your kids to help is a great idea, especially when it's late in the afternoon and everyone's ability for self-regulation is a bit low! You could give them the choice: Help me carry these things out or watch TV. Do you have any outdoor toys that they could be occupied with while you work with the customers? That would be another option where you can keep an eye on them.

[lalaland42]

TBH, it sounds like your kids are too young to be left unsupervised, especially around dinner time. Are you doing sales in an outbuilding? I would put a basket of special toys out there for when you have customers that are only accessible while sales are being made. The oldest can help package and sell.

Forty minutes is a long time to be unsupervised in a house with a craft box.

And I second the idea of a snack tray. Your kids sound like mine does when she's hungry.

[JessicaS]

What sort of outside toys do they have?

What sort of room do they have to play? Maybe get balls/sandbox/sprinkler ect so they are outside rather than inside?

Honestly at those ages dd had to ask for scissors because she cut her hair, I think all kids cut their hair .

When I was younger we got in a lot less trouble playing outside than we did inside but my parents had some sort of master plan that if they made our backyard fun kids would come to our house rather than us wanting to go to someone else's house. Our backyard always had tons of kids in it.

Have you considered letting them have their own little gardens? Even if they just dig holes and fill them with water...that's still something.

[elmh23]

Honestly, leaving three young children alone at dinner time is just a bad idea. They were probably hungry and hungry kids act up. Next time, give them a snack and put away the craft box (and scissors have to be asked for around here too.)