DD has quite a temper...

[maisiedotes]

She is 18 months old and does not handle "no" well. She is not spoiled- but she gets SO angry when she doesn't get what she wants. For example, tonight she was trying to play in the dog's water dish. I told her "NO" firmly and then tried to lure her away with her piano. She continued to not only play in the water dish, but to look right at me as if to say "I am doing whatever I want!"

I put the dish up on the counter and she proceeded to throw herself on the floor and have a temper tantrum. She does it every time I try to get her away from the screen door, the water dish, get her in her carseat, etc.

UGHHHH. I don't know what to do. I am clueless.

[LynnS6]

this age is hard because they have definite wants, but not the ability to understand why something is forbidden, or even the ability to switch gears very easily, and usually, not enough language to truly communicate their desires.

Two thoughts:
The first is that it often helps to replace something you don't want them to do (like play in the dog's water dish) with something that is similar. So, in this case, instead of luring her with the piano, lure her to the bathroom sink with a step stool and some cool bubbles. Splashing in water is FUN! And toddlers need that sort of sensory experience. So instead of forbidding it, move it to a more appropriate location. A lot of toddler 'issues' respond well to this. They want to throw? Go outside and throw. Or aim into a basket.

The second is that it's really OK to have a tantrum. Depending on how she responds, you can either offer comfort right away or wait until she winds down and then offer comfort. When you do, try to label her feelings for her ('you sound really mad'). That will help her learn the words that she needs to express what she feels, and in a few years, will really help her communicate about her emotions in a comfortable way.

[Mama.Pajama]

Sometimes you just have to let her get messy- she's a little explorer and she needs the freedom to investigate the world, within safe reason. But when it's unreasonable, which sometimes it is (for safety reasons, if you're in a public place or in someone else's home, etc.), you just have to accept that she is going to be frustrated with you. You just have to get down on her level and let her know that you understand that she is angry. Give her simple words to express the way she is feeling: "You're angry! You want to splash!" Mimic her facial expressions and body language so she knows that what she is trying to communicate is getting through to you. Pretty soon, she won't be so mad anymore, and she may be ready to go explore something more appropriate for the moment... Usually.

[mom2grrls]

Try using no for really the only non negotiable/safety issue things-use it sparingly. Set things out of reach you don't want her to have. Play a game to get her in the carseat-race to the car to get her excited then perhaps play peek a boo while you buckle her in.