setting up a "yes" enviornment

[Mama2Rio]

can some one tell me how you set up a "yes" enviornment while out in resturants/ coffee shops? dd is getting very active and doesn't like to sit in the high chair/ our laps for too long. the other day we were out and i just realized how difficult it is when there are tempting things like plants that you can't move and chairs to crawl under. i don't like telling her "no" but it can be difficult when were out and she's getting so active at 10 months (and walking)...

[mom2grrls]

Honestly we just didn't go out much to restaurants once kids started walking lol. It was just easier to stay home. You can try going at less busy times and perhaps have "special" toys/activities that she will only see at the restaurant. Also perhaps have your waiter/waitress bring to go boxes with your meals in case you need to leave quickly

[bendingbirch]

I think you all have hit it right on the head, as your child grows and becomes more mobile and more into their wants, you structure the environment by first thinking about where you will take your child, why you are going there, is it really for the child or for you, if it is for you and has to happen how can you make it easier on yourself and the child....
Sometimes I think as AP parents we often think the child should go where we go, that is the meaning of attached, but yet I often think the kindest thing we can do is to examine when we leave our homes where we are taking our children, is it to an adult place and what are the expectations in that place and then to decide if that is a good place for the child to be with us.
I don't know if that really helps, I think I am rambling tonight as I am tired...

[LynnS6]

I agree that sometimes the best way to structure it is to avoid the situation.

So, in the coffee shop situation, I'd scope out the neighborhood for a local park. I'd get my coffee to go, and drink it on bench at the local park while my kids played. That would give me time to talk to my friends and respect my kids' needs to be moving.

Between 1-2 1/2, there were a lot of places I simply didn't take dd. She was mobile, determined, adventurous and impatient. It's a bad combination for restaurants, any shop with breakable objects or any place where quiet calm behavior is needed. Dd is 5 this week, and I wouldn't hesititate to take her any of these places now.

[runes]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

I agree that sometimes the best way to structure it is to avoid the situation.

So, in the coffee shop situation, I'd scope out the neighborhood for a local park. I'd get my coffee to go, and drink it on bench at the local park while my kids played. That would give me time to talk to my friends and respect my kids' needs to be moving.

Between 1-2 1/2, there were a lot of places I simply didn't take dd. She was mobile, determined, adventurous and impatient. It's a bad combination for restaurants, any shop with breakable objects or any place where quiet calm behavior is needed. Dd is 5 this week, and I wouldn't hesititate to take her any of these places now.

:

I promise, it gets better. DD is now 3.5 and we bring along some crayons and paper/coloring books and she happily occupies herself for a while while I enjoy a "mama drink" at a cafe.

[MamaStarbird]

We choose where we go to eat carefully (baby friendly/outdoor seating/fast service/food options DD can share with us), go at times it won't be busy, take turns eating and keeping DD entertained if she doesn't want to eat (carrying her around or taking her outside to walk), eat fast, and ask for the check as soon as possible so we can bolt if she starts to lose it. We also don't put her in the high chair until there is food on the table that she can eat.

[2lilsweetfoxes]

Originally Posted by mom2grrls

Honestly we just didn't go out much to restaurants once kids started walking lol. It was just easier to stay home. You can try going at less busy times and perhaps have "special" toys/activities that she will only see at the restaurant. Also perhaps have your waiter/waitress bring to go boxes with your meals in case you need to leave quickly

That and pay cash or ask for the check as soon as you order so if you need to leave quickly, you can--or one parent take the kids to the car while the other settles the bill.

[completebeginnings]

I let my kids build towers with the individual cups of creamers. Keeps my 2,4 and 6 year old happy.

[octobermom]

I don't like setting up "yes" enviroment (nor do I seek no ones) but there was jsut a reality that say dining out from toddler -3 was diffrent. At two a meal at Mcdonalds was honestly more appealing that a a facy restraunt why? Cause mommy and daddy could actually talk and eat our Mc nuggets in peace while the kid played and run up and down slides.. A spilled drink no biggie inform the front desk and be more careful next time .. It was all VERY romantic .. It was all moments in time and I'm glad we have peaceful memories of aniversity diners at Chick-Filla over a large waffle fry and ice tea while our 2 year old played and ate on the go.. In time we got to have our waited on 1 hour long sit down steak meals.

Deanna

[lindsayjean]

I just sort of posted about this in "GD in public places"... we go to places when we know they won't be busy. For example, we went out to breakfast at a cafe this morning. It is a weekday morning so I knew it wouldn't be crazy. She ate her breakfast and then, we needed to finish up, so we let her walk around. Of course, she is 2 so she can pretty much walk around (within eye shot) as long as she isn't bothering anyone I don't think it's a big deal. For a younger child I'd probably make sure I bring some very interesting toys, and also not expect to just get to sit there and relax if she's getting antsy. Crayons and books are always my best bet when we go to restaurants.

My inlaws are coming into town this weekend and always take us to semi-fancy restaurants... so I am gearing up for it with my DD lol... they are hardcore into DISCPLINE, so it's hard that they think I'm a bad mom because my child isn't perfect at restaurants. You know what? She's a TODDLER. She shouldn't be expected to sit quietly for a long dinner!

[teale]

We do several things:

When we go to restaurants, we request a booth. While we're waiting for the meal, we let him stand on the booth, and play. He loves the freedom, and it let's him explore. I always make sure I have toys for him, and a sippy cup ready for him to have too.

When the meal comes, he sits in his high chair, and eats.

We don't go out to eat often though, so I think this is why this has worked for us.

For coffee shops? I don't go with him anymore. If the girls and I are doing coffee with the kids, one of us grabs the coffee, and we meet at a local park. Otherwise, we take Mama time and go without the kids!

[prothyraia]

PP's have some good suggestions.

We do a lot of the same things, and only go out to eat when we're prepared to have one parent devoted to entertaining the baby the whole time if necessary (this can involve walking around a lot).

[Mama2Rio]

thanks everyone! i'm more likely to just let her play with cups, creamers, ect than just stay home. she's a good baby, just likes to explore and dig in the plants.

[flower01]

Originally Posted by Mama2Rio

thanks everyone! i'm more likely to just let her play with cups, creamers, ect than just stay home. she's a good baby, just likes to explore and dig in the plants.

DH and I are the same way except now our biggest problem is that she finds it irresistable to dum the salt shaker. I'm kind of stuck on that one. Oh and she's started sucking on the splenda packets which i really don't like...

[camracrazy]

We don't go out to restaurants very often, but when we do we usually try to look at the menu and see if there is a little something they could bring out that our DD's can snack on until the meal comes. The older 2 don't really need it but the youngest is 19 months and can get antsy. Or you could bring something like a little bag of cereal for her to munch on while you wait. At home we usually don't sit down to eat until I have everything ready, so they just aren't used to having to wait, yk? :