Sibling Preparation Books and Ideas

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Any book recommendations for sibling preparation?

What things preparation things did you do that helped your older child?

[ann_of_loxley]

Well - I plan a natural home birth (when it eventually happens - so I am still in preparation mode - I like to be prepared! hehe!) with DS there if he is awake and not playing at the time! hehe - He will be around at any rate, hes not being sent away to Grandmas house - so I am planning to buy DS these such books and this as it covers that in a wonderful way! I think that can help prepare him - it also allows room to talk about other things that come up.

I like these books and the LLL website also has a good list of other typs of books such as this and this and this that we also have and some we don't such as this that I think if fab! These are great as my DS only ever sees babies being bottle fed and babies in pushchairs and cots, etc - So its nice to read him a book that shows how we choose to live and it also gives room to talk about how this also invovles a baby. He now talks about how things are for 'the baby' - such as where 'the babys' car seat is going to go in the car, how when the baby is born they will drink milk from my breasts and he points to the slings he is now too big for and talks about how they will be for 'the baby'.

I spend a lot of time with friends who already have babies as well - so hes used to seeing what that invovles as I am pretty hands on with them when they around. Its nice he is old enough to say 'I think they want some milk' or 'I think they want to be held' when a baby cries, or other such stuff that melts my heart as I think its thoughtful. Its also nice to see how he responds as they have grown - a friend we see weekly has a daughter who is now 9 months old and DS is starting to have a lot of fun playing with her and will get out her favourite toys when we are over there. ...Will be interesting to see how he reacts when we have our own baby and that baby is here to stay! hehe

I want to help him feel invovled but not that its a chore for him. I plan to take him to the MW apponitments for example.

I dont like the term 'big boy' - people use it to imply that your child must change and have new responsibilities (and is often used in an undercover bully way to say 'stop doing that and behave differently' - I dont like manipulative behaviour). Maybe in the future they will, but most people have very young children when they have another and even though DS is going to be 4+ (at this rate) he is still a child and 'the baby' is my responsibility. He does not have to be a 'big boy' just because ive decided to have another child. I expect a change in dynamics but how I handle that is up to me but I would personally rather nuture my children though such a time rather than manipulate them to my will.

I am thinking of having a 'congrats on becoming a Brother' party!' - something small with family and close friends only with a cake and some party food/etc (nothing all out there! lol). I want him to feel important too - because he is! When a new baby is around, people can often forget the other child/ren and this can cause them to feel left out and not as 'special' - so I think a nice little get together party to celebrate HIM would be a great idea! Hey...becoming a brother/sibling is an important time in their life too!!!

Siblings without rivalry - a great book. A great way to really prepare (longterm)! hehe

Besides that - I think the perparation is more for me. To ensure my relationship with my children and their potential relationship as they grow together - its important how I as the parent handle it. I feel I have already had a great start with this in how I have already chosen to raise DS.

I have read often that how I will feel towards DS when another arrives will change due to mummy bear hormones towards the new arrival. This is understandable and I am also prepared for this as well. I am lucky to have a wonderful (at times hehe) DH - my DS enjoys doing things with him. I think it will help to have DS out and having fun so I can have some time to bond with the new family member but I also think its important for DS for me to keep up our usual daily activities so he doesnt feel like his whole world has been turned upside down overnight. However, I really want to refrain 'because of the baby because of the baby' comments...I feel it can wear on siblings and cause resentment towards their baby brother/sister. (I do a lot of observing of other families and their dynamics as most people I know have more than one child by now - so I know at least what I dont want to do! hehe)

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Ann, can I come give you a hug? That was great! :

I really love the small "big brother" party! When you plan this, were you thinking of doing it before or after the baby arrived?

I'd love to hear more about the older one being present at the birth! I want a homebirth--sortof. Where we live assisted homebirth is illegal, so we'd drive 2 hours to where my son was born. We essentially rent a house for a month and birth there.

Really, I love all of what you said, and I'd love to hear more thoughts like that!

[ann_of_loxley]

I really love the small "big brother" party! When you plan this, were you thinking of doing it before or after the baby arrived?

I was thinking after. Call me superstitious - but I at this rate, after so many miscarriages, I want to make sure the baby is HERE before we throw him a brother party! hehe I was thinking about a week after the birth - with LOTS of help from DH and IL's (and so they should! - it is DS day!)...because the last thing you want to do after giving birth is throwing a party right?! lol - So I need to be realistic about that (and as I said, nothing big but very special!) - Will require organising about a month before expected arrival I think (if I put all the stuff and directions in a box, it can make it easier for DH to sort it out with my sit down guidance when the time comes hehe).

I'd love to hear more about the older one being present at the birth! I want a homebirth--sortof. Where we live assisted homebirth is illegal, so we'd drive 2 hours to where my son was born. We essentially rent a house for a month and birth there.

For the land of the free, the USA sucks lol!.... (surely its your right to birth how and where you want!...)...but thats another topic not for this forum! hehe... If you post - you will get a lot of advice and suggestions and support about other children being there at the birth on the birthing forums!!!