More Chat! May 17 - 22 - Page 5

[WuWei]

Could I tempt you to the dark side and REALLY be "one of those parents" who homeschools.


Pat

[chlobo]

Originally Posted by WuWei

Could I tempt you to the dark side and REALLY be "one of those parents" who homeschools.


Pat

Pat,

In theory, I would *love* to homeschool. I can see all the things wrong with public education and why a homeschool environment would be better. I worry that my daughter's personality such that she won't thrive at school. She's not a "shut up and get with the program" kid.

But honestly, with how I feel right now, I'd rather shoot myself than homeschool. I just have this dark cloud that hangs over me and prevents me from enjoying things. I am hanging my head in shame b/c there are so many moments I've "lost" because of the dark cloud. I just can't seem to feel the joy. I do sometimes with DS b/c he is such a happy kid, despite his issues. But DD has been *hard* from the moment she was born. And compound that with this horrendous fatigue I feel and its just not a good combination. My kids are so not getting the best of me right now with the time I spend with them. Homeschooling would just make it worse.

Until I can feel better (mentally, physically & spiritually) I just don't see how that could possibly work. I would love to be that person, but I just am not.

[lil_miss_understood]

Originally Posted by WuWei

Could I tempt you to the dark side and REALLY be "one of those parents" who homeschools.

Pat

I admire parents who homeschool and it's something I keep kicking around but I can't get DH on board. Besides.... I don't have the patience. It costs so much. I don't have the time.
::

[kjbrown92]

Originally Posted by chlobo

I am so annoyed. I am filling out paperwork for send Isabella to k next year and its so annoying.

First off, they ask the same information on about 20 forms. Then there is all this alleged "health screening" information which really isn't comprehensive at all. It's like a really old form. If you aren't going to do it right, why bother? And they want the dentist's name. I'm finding this all too invasive.

Then there's permission to let a total stranger dispense tylenol & ibuprofen AT THEIR DISCRETION. Huh? And I'm sure as soon as we say no we're branded as "one of those parents".

And of course, there's the proof of vaccination. So then we'll really be branded "one of those parents".

At our elementary school, you have to have a doctor's prescription for them to administer ANYTHING - including Tylenol. When we were going through the stomachaches, I wanted to send in the Children's Pepto (calcium carbonate) because it would help him stomach until he got home (I know, not a good solution, but we were journaling and trying to figure out the additional foods at that point). So I had to supply it, and I had to get my doctor to fill out a big form AND I had to fill out a big form. I think they want to know dentist in case someone gets a tooth knocked out during school or whatever. So that IF they can't get hold of you for some reason, they have someone to contact (besides the emergency people you list). I didn't find it that invasive. I wanted to know which hospital we preferred, though I hope that I'd get to make that decision at the time, if the need ever arose, but things do happen unfortunately.

Originally Posted by chlobo

Yeah, I don't get it. What could they possibly need to administer it for without consulting me first? I hate how some people just treat drugs like candy. Irks me just like the free abx that Stop & Shop gives out.

Okay, Stop & Shop is not "giving out" free antibiotics. You still have to have a prescription, they're just not charging you for it. In fact, that's where I went on Saturday to get my abx because I didn't want to pay $100 for it at CVS. But I still had to have a prescription. It's not like someone can just go in there and say give me a bottle of Amoxicillan for my kid. Personally, I like the free abx. That's the only thing that Stop & Shop is good for. Everything else is ridiculously overpriced there. I just had to jump to their defense for this one though.

[lil_miss_understood]

chlobo
I completely understand, but I have to say that if I could go back and do it over again, I would push to HS DS1. It's really such a hassle here, once they're in public school, to get them out to be HS'd. I'm really hoping that DS2 will be HS'd.

And you do have a point, Kathy, regarding the dentist. I do find they ask a lot of information though which it's difficult to see at first why they might need it.

[kjbrown92]

Originally Posted by JacquelineR

And you do have a point, Kathy, regarding the dentist. I do find they ask a lot of information though which it's difficult to see at first why they might need it.

They also wanted to know when they were potty trained, what their first word was, when they started walking, and things like that. It was for some developmental thing, but at the time, I was pulling out the baby book because I couldn't remember, and aggravated at what I thought were useless questions.

About once a year I have the urge to homeschool because of something the school system does. But overall, they are really good, and I don't have the patience either. And the social aspect of it, and having exposure to other people (like they will in the real world, not just like minded people) is a big benefit. My SIL says she's going to homeschool their DS but it's one kid. I am in awe of the people that can homeschool multiple kids, and sometimes special needs kids, with different levels of learning and all that. It just amazes me. And I know I could do it if I had to, or if the public school wasn't meeting our needs (or if I lived in a town with a school system like SIL's) but at this point, I'm okay with our public school. If they weren't good about DS's food intolerances, I'm pretty sure I'd take him out in a heartbeat, but so far he's had really good teachers who've been really supportive.

I did get a bunch of stuff from legoeducation.com for DS's birthday coming up. They have a whole homeschool section and I was amazed at the cool stuff.

[tanyalynn]

Originally Posted by chlobo

Pat,

In theory, I would *love* to homeschool. I can see all the things wrong with public education and why a homeschool environment would be better. I worry that my daughter's personality such that she won't thrive at school. She's not a "shut up and get with the program" kid.

But honestly, with how I feel right now, I'd rather shoot myself than homeschool. I just have this dark cloud that hangs over me and prevents me from enjoying things. I am hanging my head in shame b/c there are so many moments I've "lost" because of the dark cloud. I just can't seem to feel the joy. I do sometimes with DS b/c he is such a happy kid, despite his issues. But DD has been *hard* from the moment she was born. And compound that with this horrendous fatigue I feel and its just not a good combination. My kids are so not getting the best of me right now with the time I spend with them. Homeschooling would just make it worse.

Until I can feel better (mentally, physically & spiritually) I just don't see how that could possibly work. I would love to be that person, but I just am not.

BTDT. Don't feel guilty! You've been on this treadmill for years now and you're still trying! Yeah, I say it a bit because I feel somewhat similar, I realize that all my thoughts and focus for the first several years of both their lives are about their physical health and mine, and it's a pretty narrow focus.

It's hard, but (the bolded part) how about you envision yourself as that person, the best Carren you can be. It's not a substitute for real, tangible help, but I really think envisioning reality the way I want it to be, the way we are on the way to making it be, has really been helpful. See yourself talking to a HCP who you can just tell gets it, they _know_ exactly what to do to help the three of you, and feel how amazing you are to have kept searching and now you're _there_ with the right person to work with. And see yourself as carefree and energetic and joyous. It's really hard when you're stuck at the bottom to feel hope and optimism, so it'll take practice and baby steps, but I think it helps change how the world sees us and interacts with us.

[tanyalynn]

Originally Posted by kjbrown92

I am in awe of the people that can homeschool multiple kids, and sometimes special needs kids, with different levels of learning and all that. It just amazes me.

That's hilarious coming from you. On multiple occasions, heck, practically daily, I think the same thing about you and your family's food situation.

[kjbrown92]

Originally Posted by TanyaLopez

That's hilarious coming from you. On multiple occasions, heck, practically daily, I think the same thing about you and your family's food situation.

Does that mean I'm awe-ful or awesome?

[changingseasons]

Originally Posted by chlobo

But honestly, with how I feel right now, I'd rather shoot myself than homeschool. I just have this dark cloud that hangs over me and prevents me from enjoying things. I am hanging my head in shame b/c there are so many moments I've "lost" because of the dark cloud. I just can't seem to feel the joy. I do sometimes with DS b/c he is such a happy kid, despite his issues. But DD has been *hard* from the moment she was born. And compound that with this horrendous fatigue I feel and its just not a good combination. My kids are so not getting the best of me right now with the time I spend with them. Homeschooling would just make it worse.

I feel that way a lot (although not as often since getting my homeopathic remedy.) Half the time, I don't have the patience for DD just to make it through the day... and then I think about adding schooling on top of it and I cringe. I think that if we do homeschool, it will be unschooling for sure.

But on the other hand- I can't even get our HCP's to take DD's allergies seriosly... how can I expect a school to do it? I would be terrified of putting DD in someone else's care, with so many variables that they can't control- like what if a kid uses DD's pencil and just had milk on his hands? What if the teacher forgets how to use the epipen? what if, what if, what if? Obviously, I have a while to figure this out though...

Originally Posted by TanyaLopez

That's hilarious coming from you. On multiple occasions, heck, practically daily, I think the same thing about you and your family's food situation.

Yes. Seriously. I don't know how you do it with all those different rotations. Never mind- I hate it when people say that to me. I do know how you do it- you do it because you have to do it. Because you are the kind of parent that doesn't see any other options than taking their kiddo's health seriously. BUT- you DO do a fantastic job of it.

[chlobo]

Originally Posted by kjbrown92

At our elementary school, you have to have a doctor's prescription for them to administer ANYTHING - including Tylenol. When we were going through the stomachaches, I wanted to send in the Children's Pepto (calcium carbonate) because it would help him stomach until he got home (I know, not a good solution, but we were journaling and trying to figure out the additional foods at that point). So I had to supply it, and I had to get my doctor to fill out a big form AND I had to fill out a big form. I think they want to know dentist in case someone gets a tooth knocked out during school or whatever. So that IF they can't get hold of you for some reason, they have someone to contact (besides the emergency people you list). I didn't find it that invasive. I wanted to know which hospital we preferred, though I hope that I'd get to make that decision at the time, if the need ever arose, but things do happen unfortunately.
Actually, there is a separate form asking about their last dentist appointment. They don't just ask the name.




Okay, Stop & Shop is not "giving out" free antibiotics. You still have to have a prescription, they're just not charging you for it. In fact, that's where I went on Saturday to get my abx because I didn't want to pay $100 for it at CVS. But I still had to have a prescription. It's not like someone can just go in there and say give me a bottle of Amoxicillan for my kid. Personally, I like the free abx. That's the only thing that Stop & Shop is good for. Everything else is ridiculously overpriced there. I just had to jump to their defense for this one though.

I just meant that they (abx) have become so commonplace they are treated like water or something.

[chlobo]

Originally Posted by changingseasons

I feel that way a lot (although not as often since getting my homeopathic remedy.) Half the time, I don't have the patience for DD just to make it through the day... and then I think about adding schooling on top of it and I cringe. I think that if we do homeschool, it will be unschooling for sure.

But on the other hand- I can't even get our HCP's to take DD's allergies seriosly... how can I expect a school to do it? I would be terrified of putting DD in someone else's care, with so many variables that they can't control- like what if a kid uses DD's pencil and just had milk on his hands? What if the teacher forgets how to use the epipen? what if, what if, what if? Obviously, I have a while to figure this out though...

This was the other thing about the form. It asks about allergies & such. Well nothing has been diagnosed so how am I going to get them to take the gf/df thing seriously?

[changingseasons]

Nessa- (or anyone else who makes their own laundry soap) - what kind of soap do you use? I bought a bar of fels naptha after seeing it mentioned on other threads around here... and then I googled it and decided that it really wasn't a good idea, environmentally OR allergy-wise. I've seen people mention Ivory bar soap, and castille soap, but I'm curious what others use- especially those with sensitive-skin kiddos.

[ASusan]

Oh, good, we're griping about school forms. I can rant here, right?


I've noticed that DS's hands are in really good shape after the
weekend. This weekend, he didn't go to daycare for Fri, Sat, Sun. His
hands are smooth and soft and don't have any sores on them, just the
healed sores. So, I try to think why they are cracked, raw, open,
bleeding when he's at daycare, and especially by the end of the week. I
think to myself, "maybe it's all the washing." So this morning at
drop-off I ask that they not use soap, just rinse and really dry them
well and then do lotion. (When we wash at home, it's just rinsing or
wiping with a warm washcloth unless there is a reason to use soap. We
don't lotion them each time, just at night after bath.) He already HAS
special soap (cetaphil cleanser) at daycare that is supposed to be very
gentle, and he has a lotion there that is supposed to be good for
eczema. I have my suspicions that they don't do lotion very often,
because when I asked for it one afternoon last week when I picked him up
and his hands were raw, they had to get it out of a locked box, which was
in a locked cabinet. The teacher SAID this morning that they do lotion
after each handwashing -- but (1) the signed instructions from me about
the lotion say "as needed" not after every handwashing, and (2) they
wash hands a dozen or more times a day. She said they wash before and
after each meal/snack, after diaper change, after art activities, after
sensory activities, after they come inside...that's at least 8-10 times
in the 6 hours he's there (1 meal, 1 snack, 2-3 diaper changes, 1-2
times outside, 1-2 arts/sensory activities). And they are required by
the state to use SOAP each time. I told her (nicely and slightly
jokingly) that I would bring in extra special fairy soap for DS.
Please, could we try a few days without soap and see if his hands stay
soft? If it's germs you're worried about, dry, cracked, bleeding hands
are much more likely to have problems with germs than ones that are
intact and smooth. If it's not the soap, then maybe he's eating
something at daycare that he shouldn't be eating. Or the artsy things
they're doing with glue [the day a month ago he came home stinking of
something...even DH noticed it. I asked the next day...they had done
gluing. And she reassured me that he didn't eat any of the glue (I think
that night he had a reaction, so I was even more suspecting that he'd
ingested something he shouldn't have the previous day.) and they washed
hands right after. OK, how is it possible that they do a gluing project
with 12 toddlers who mouth things and don't have good fine motor
control, even if they aren't mouthers, and they can reassure me with a
straight face that no glue was ingested? And that they washed up
afterward, when he comes home smelling like glue (not his clothing, his
body) that even his sensory-challenged father can smell hours later?]

After the soap question this morning, she called me later this morning
to say that if we had a signed note from his doctor they could wash his
hands without soap.

[tanyalynn]

Originally Posted by kjbrown92

Does that mean I'm awe-ful or awesome?

Definitely awesome! Some of the awesome-est moms I know are here!

Chlobo--go into it with the attitude of "of course they'll listen." And you can fudge it--yes gluten and dairy allergies, no, our doctor doesn't think an epi-pen is required at this point (if they ask). If they assume things about that statement, well, not your problem.

eta: and I'm glad I'm not filling out the form, I _really_ should get the kids in to see a dentist, but with all the other stuff going on, well, it hasn't been highest on my priority list. :

[lil_miss_understood]

I will ask you all to think back a little bit to our discussion in some thread (heaven knows where) about oxytocin. I was thinking today that it seems like my contractions are stronger and more common at night and it occurred to me, Doesn't oxytocin production increase at night? (I think it's actually prolactin but anyway...)
This lead me to looking at wikipedia again on oxytocin and guess what I found?
This little tidbit right here:

The actions of oxytocin are mediated by specific, high affinity oxytocin receptors. The oxytocin receptor is a G-protein-coupled receptor which requires Mg2+ and cholesterol.

Underlining mine.

Magnesium and cholesterol. Hmm. What in the world may have caused my letdown to suck post thyroid-flop?

[dannic]

Originally Posted by chlobo

Pat,

In theory, I would *love* to homeschool. I can see all the things wrong with public education and why a homeschool environment would be better. I worry that my daughter's personality such that she won't thrive at school. She's not a "shut up and get with the program" kid.

But honestly, with how I feel right now, I'd rather shoot myself than homeschool. I just have this dark cloud that hangs over me and prevents me from enjoying things. I am hanging my head in shame b/c there are so many moments I've "lost" because of the dark cloud. I just can't seem to feel the joy. I do sometimes with DS b/c he is such a happy kid, despite his issues. But DD has been *hard* from the moment she was born. And compound that with this horrendous fatigue I feel and its just not a good combination. My kids are so not getting the best of me right now with the time I spend with them. Homeschooling would just make it worse.

ETA: I posted the drop Biscuit recipe in the recipes archives...*disclaimer--if you are at a different altitude, use a different oven than mine, and don't have a swamp cooler, OR don't hold your tongue just right (Like this, they may not turn out for you.

Until I can feel better (mentally, physically & spiritually) I just don't see how that could possibly work. I would love to be that person, but I just am not.

We all do the best we can. I am sure you are a great mom. When I had pre and postpartum depression, I had to let go of many things that I thought were important in order to be able to function to do the things that really mattered for my family. And it basically was that: my family. I learned how to say "no" really well. I learned to stall the immediate answer by saing that I would look at my calender/talk to DH and get back with them. Then I would call back with an answer (no) later. That way I wasn't agreeing without thinking it through. All this to say, I totally understand and don't feel guilty about what you can't do. There may come a day when you can do more--but it's okay to not do everything all the time.

Originally Posted by JacquelineR

Besides.... I don't have the patience. It costs so much. I don't have the time.
::

You call those excuses?!?:

I was homeschooled and we homeschool our kids. It's not pricey at all. And I will say, I am LEARNING patience. Homeschooling is great for learning lots of things like that! (patience, anger management, patience, joy in the simple things, patience, you know--stuff like patience!):

I posted my drop biscuit recipe in the recipe sticky
*DISCLAIMER* If you live at a higher altitude than I am, have a different oven than I do, OR don't hold your tongue just right, (like this::nana this recipe may not work for you! :

[Catt75]

Originally Posted by chlobo

Pat,



But honestly, with how I feel right now, I'd rather shoot myself than homeschool. I just have this dark cloud that hangs over me and prevents me from enjoying things. I am hanging my head in shame b/c there are so many moments I've "lost" because of the dark cloud. I just can't seem to feel the joy. I do sometimes with DS b/c he is such a happy kid, despite his issues. But DD has been *hard* from the moment she was born. And compound that with this horrendous fatigue I feel and its just not a good combination. My kids are so not getting the best of me right now with the time I spend with them. Homeschooling would just make it worse.

Until I can feel better (mentally, physically & spiritually) I just don't see how that could possibly work. I would love to be that person, but I just am not.

Originally Posted by changingseasons

I feel that way a lot (although not as often since getting my homeopathic remedy.) Half the time, I don't have the patience for DD just to make it through the day... and then I think about adding schooling on top of it and I cringe. I think that if we do homeschool, it will be unschooling for sure.

Oh my gosh..did you both just yank these thoughts out of my head. I feel so horrible most days that I spend so much time worrying about her allergies, worrying about her future, worrying worrying worrying. I hate it.

[tanyalynn]

Originally Posted by dannic

You call those excuses?!?:

I was homeschooled and we homeschool our kids. It's not pricey at all. And I will say, I am LEARNING patience. Homeschooling is great for learning lots of things like that! (patience, anger management, patience, joy in the simple things, patience, you know--stuff like patience!)

Funny, cause that type of discussion has been coming up a lot lately, talking about things mom needs to work on, good real-life examples of mom's issues and ways she's working on them, making compromises, stuff like that.

[lil_miss_understood]

Originally Posted by dannic

You call those excuses?!?:

It was actually intended as a mockery of the excuses people use for not homeschooling. I've actually hung out in the homeschooling forum a little bit (lurked, spying ) and seen some of the discussions on there about the frustrating comments from non-homeschoolers. I'll admit though that I haven't done enough research on the subject to say it's not expensive or is, but I think that (just about?) anyone can do it, given the proper motivation.