I've read the Twilight books and all the Sookie books. I liked, but not loved, both. The Twilight books are too much teen angst for me and I didn't really bond with any of the characters. The Sookie books are a much quicker and lighter read in my opinion. I watched part of one episode of the TV show and didn't like it at all. I like the books better. If I had to pick Bella or Sookie to go to lunch with, it would be Sookie hands down.
I really enjoyed the Melissa Marr books I've read. They are young adult and deal with fairy (but really dark fairy); there is a romantic element to them.
I also love Patricia Briggs' books, particularly the Mercy Thompson (and companion Alpha Omega) books. They are urban fantasy/paranormal romance I guess. Her other books are probably more science fantasy? Anyway, the Mercy Thompson books have a likeable, strong female lead. I think they are more violent than Twilight (though certainly not more violent than the Sookie books), but there is still definite plot and character development. Mercy is a skinwalker (which is a shapeshifter who turns into a coyote) who was raised partially by werewolves. There are vampires in the books, but they are mostly the bad guys and not nearly as sexy as the werewolves. . . . Her other books are quite enjoyable too in my opinion. I actually (gasp) PAY for her books--even the latest Mercy Thompson book in hardback--rather than wait for them from the library.
I also really like Ilone Andrews books, Magic Bites, Magic Burns, etc. They are closer to science fiction I guess. They are set in a world where magic and tech are in conflict. There are shape shifters (werewolves, werehyenas, etc) and vampires. But the vampires are really, really, really not sexy in this series. Another strong female lead and I like the characters.
I've seen some other similar threads lately so you might search as well to get more ideas.
Catherine